The Stones of Raw
by Instant Classic Superstar Pac
Summary: The adventure of Raw backstage dialogue after the events is just as insane as the show itself. From the embarrassments to the greatnesses, everything is targeted and tackled. Element of surprise applies, and pairings change along with the story of Raw.
1. Crashing Champion

Disclaimer: This is unassociated with any of my other stories, and I do not own any of the members of this story. I simply write this story due to my interest in Raw, especially with these certain Superstars that have major roles.

Pairings: Edge/Lita, shades of Christian/Trish, a little bit Orton/Candace, and one of the great surprise pairings that I should've been working at Intergender Survivor Series.

Rating Info: This story is rated PG-13, as all of my stories are, for safety purposes.

**_The Stones of Raw_** by **Prime Time, Legend Champion**

Chapter 1: Crashing Champion

Following 12/6/2004 episode of Raw

Cricket Arena in Charlotte, NC

Earlier tonight on Raw, a good many things happened. First of all, Chris Jericho, the General Manager for tonight, made Raw - and its hosting site, Charlotte's own Cricket Arena - the night's greatest party town. He hosted a rock and roll limbo a-go-go with Stacy Keibler, the newest Raw Divas, and one of his lovely assistants. Christy Hemme and Maria Kanellis were the last two ladies standing, the energetic Christy leaving as #1. Y2J and his rock band, Fozzy, performed twice; one time being the limbo a-go-go's follow-up dance party with the girls, and the other time being when Captain Charisma, Christian, was having a hard time bringing himself out of the ring after an Intercontinental Championship loss to Shelton Benjamin, who had won the title from Jericho at Taboo Tuesday 175 of a month ago. Christian had to wear an embarrassing CC Superhero outfit in order to compete in this match. Everyone was laughing at Captain Charisma when he had come out, and he almost retreated to the back and forsook his shot at the IC Title. Tyson Tomko, the Problem Solver, got him back into mode before that could happen. Christian lost because his double-C mask got turned in his way, so he couldn't see Shelton stalking him for the T-Bone Suplex.

In other pressing business was the World Heavyweight Championship. Vince McMahon, the Chairman of the Board, and the head of the WWE's Imperial McMahon Family, had to come out and make an announcement as far as the World Heavyweight Title. Convinced that it was a tie (with Edge tapping out to Chris Benoit's Crossface _and_ pinning the Crippler at the exact same time), Vince vacated the Championship, basically meaning more than anything that Triple H was no longer the Champion. Trips threw a fit backstage, and it went beyond Batista's reliability, as not only had he criticized the Big Dave for being calm within anger when outside the ring, but he also criticized Batista for stopping his little campaign phone speech to Eric Bischoff before it could get to the threatening point. Trips then went berserk when the two needed to team up against Jericho and Benoit, hitting everybody (including the ref and Batista) with the steel chair. When he assessed the damage, he realized the error he made when he cracked his fellow Evolutioner. But, that was unretakeable. Another disgruntled non-World Heavyweight Champion who was initially in this entire picture - Edge - came out and blamed Randy Orton for the fact that he was not the World Heavyweight Champion, saying that by awarding Benoit with the opportunity as well as the Arch of Awesomeness, Orton had screwed Edge out of the title. Orton immediately came out and countered that he could have given Benoit the exclusive opportunity and left Edge with nothing, and that he could have let Evolution run amok, but the Legend Champion ejected Ric Flair and Batista before they could do so. Not only that, but he failed to mention retaliating from an ensuing assault made by Triple H, in the form of taking him way out of the equation and leaving Edge and Benoit free to frolic and set up the controversy. To keep a short story short, this led to fighting words from both a certain young Sparks Mineral and the Legend Killer, and they eventually went into a fight which sort of previwed a John Cena vs. Jesús upcoming street fight, had to be separated by _nine men_. Though none were actual current wrestlers, this was still major, as Chris Jericho made an official match out of this for the following week.

Maven, who is yet another angry man about having already botched up two World Title opportunities, had a one-on-one match against Eugene, but snapped for the second straight week and got himself disqualified for some excessive punishment delivered to the Man Child. William Regal came out to defend his young friend, but got a tag title to the head for his efforts. Some talk has been going around town that Maven and incoming Arab American wrestler Muhammad Hassan could be teaming up for the Tag Team Championships in the near future, but that is strictly rumor amongst non-vital Raw Superstars, which by now includes Simon Dean, who beat The Hurricane in his first match tonight. Also, Lita and Trish Stratus had a Women's Championship match and a backstage confrontation right before. Trish joked once again about the disaster that fate has constantly surrounded Lita with, reminding her of being the Walking Kiss of Death. In an ironic twist of fate, Trish suffered for that by receiving a kiss full of hatred, and then was pinned by Lita after the Reversal Fate and the Xtreme Diva's patented Moonsault Splash. Meaning; we've got a new Women's Champion. So, Jerry Lawler's favorite Champions on Raw are both dethroned at the same time. Vince McMahon, basically, is the World Heavyweight Champion, because vacated belts rest in McMahon property at all times unless otherwise stated.

-

Edge was still hot under his collar in the back area. The Arch of Awesomeness, sitting in his locker room, felt no need to be speaking to or about anyone right now, since he was still steamed over the World Heavyweight Title not being in his esteemed possession. But, there was somebody who could calm him down just a notch or two, and it wasn't his once-again best friend and former tag team partner, Christian, especially considering that Captain Charisma had a little steam under _him_self as well from the Flash type outfit embarrassment. Nor was Christian's girlfriend Trish Stratus, who was angry herself over losing the Women's Title to Lita, able to calm either one of them down. So, three blond Canadians of Raw were absolutely pissed off, and the fourth one, Chris Jericho, was in too much of a party mood, and couldn't care less for the other three in true actuality. So, who was the person that could calm down the Arch of Awesomeness? Let's just say she has red hair and a new shiny good-looking belt. And she was heading his way right now. She knocked on his door, and in his grumpy mood of late, he said to go away. She opened the door and walked in anyway.

"Hey, Lita. What did I just tell you?" Edge just questioned the redhead's entry into the room.

"Edge, did you see that? I finally took out Trish and won the Women's Title from her. I can't way to see the look on her face when she sees me wearing this back here. She is going to be so livid, and even though she's **sort of** my friend, it serves her right for everything she's said and done," Lita spoke, simply boasting about her accomplishment. She then sat down next to Edge on a bench in his dressing room.

"Hey, Kiss of Death. You wanna ruin _my_ career, too?" he asked her, with a bad look on his face. This was his usual mood of late, but this time, the reference to the Kiss of Death comments killed her mood.

"Edge. Don't go there. You know how much I hate being picked on about the crap Trish said. I'd like to be called the Kiss of Death in a way so I can wear it with pride, not shame, thank you," Lita clearly stated her objections, causing Edge to sigh.

"I know, Li. I'm sorry. It's just that I keep gunning, and pleading, and doing just about anything, because I want that World Heavyweight Championship, yet I am constantly disrespected and denied the title by something or another at every turn!" Edge yelled, suddenly standing up. Lita followed suit.

"Edge, you can't hold the world responsible for the fact that you haven't proven to be the absolute best just yet. Keep working at it, and you'll have it. It's not like one slipped opportunity is the end of the world. Look at Chris Benoit. He's stood through eighteen long years in this business before becoming World Champion, and Eddie Guerrero over on SmackDown was with him through thick and thin. It was earlier this year that both guys were able to accomplish the lifelong dream of being the top dogs. Compared to what Benoit has endured, you're just a rookie," Lita said to Edge.

"Just a rookie?" Edge immediately questioned Lita's statement. "Just a rookie? God! Can you believe this woman? She just called me a rookie! I've been around here twice as long as you have, Lita."

"That's not quite the fact, or the point," Lita responded.

"I can't believe this! Everybody disrespects me here, even you!" Edge lamented an awfully great amount of anguish, which obviously showed as he kicked a locker.

"Edge, calm down!" Lita yelled at him. The Arch of Awesomeness, who obviously hasn't been feeling it lately, pressed himself up against a locker. Lita came over to him.

"Hey, you okay?" she asked.

"Li, I'll be fine. Just give me a little time to cool down," Edge said.

In the meantime, another backstage conversation took place between Orton, Christian, Jericho, and Matt Hardy, the man who - last we heard of him - was Lita's boyfriend. But then, that was a couple of months ago, when he had been all right.

"Matt, Lita's here. Why don't you go talk to her?" Jericho asked.

"Don't touch me on that one," Matt said, shrubbing the quesion off.

"Why, what happened?" Randy inquired of the Sensei.

"We had a phone talk, and Lita decided that she had to break up with me because Kane was gonna make her life even worse if she didn't. I had to agree to it, because I didn't want to find out that my girlfriend was being held captive in a torture chamber or whatever the hell Kane could do," Matt explained the situation. "And with the fact that Kane took her into wedlock, we had already been officially broken. The separation was personal."

"Wow, that's bad news, man. Hope you hold up okay, Sensei," Randy said.

"You could use a little charisma to go with that Mattitude," Christian injected his ten cents in.

"Christian, shut up. I had you tonight. I had you just about dead!" Jericho boasted. "That is gonna be a moment for this coming Christmas to look over. The Embarrassing Adventures of Captain Charisma, featuring Christian as Captain Charisma trying to imitate Flash, and Shelton Benjamin as the man who successfully defended his Intercontinental Title by kicking Captain Charisma's ass!"

"Shut up! You humiliated me in front of all my peeps!" Christian whined.

"Please. Not like you even have any peeps," Jericho confidently presumed.

"You will shut the hell up right now before I seriously teach you what Captain Charisma is like without charisma!" Christian threatened the King of the World.

"Oh, wait. I just realized something," Jericho suddenly said.

"What?"

"You do have peeps all over the world."

"It's about time you recognized."

"Why don't you get your two peeps down here so I can spit all over their faces?"

"That's it!"

"Christian, stop!" somebody suddenly interrupted before the King of Bling Bling and the Peep Man could get it on. Turns out it's the Problem Solver, Tyson Tomko, standing next to Trish Stratus.

"Well, if it isn't the five-time former Women's Champion, three-time former Babe of the Year, and five-year locker room garden of sex, standing alongside the worst tattoos and the ugliest beard in WWE history?" Jericho provoked Tyson and Trish.

"Hey, you watch what you say about my tag team partner and my girlfriend!" Christian immediately lashed out verbally at Y2J.

"Well, whaddya know? Congratulations. Captain Charisma gets a weekly pass into the garden shed, and we don't even know it anymore, cause ever since he came back, they haven't been together on national television. Here's what you can do with your peeps, Christian; you can take your wet dream and shoeshine boy to the back and tell them to kiss my ass, and yours alike, cause in case you didn't know, this was the wrong time to tell us that Trish was your girlfriend, considering both the fact that I just recognized her for being WWE Raw's million-dollar ho, and that she lost the Women's Title to a true good-looking friend who honestly deserves the belt."

"Hey, Christian! Come back at him, man! Is Captain Charisma gonna let Chris Jericho get away with humiliating him countlessly tonight?" Randy challenged Christian to get back at Jericho.

"Randy, you're right. I just hope we don't get paired against each other too soon. Anyway, Jericho, let me remind you of what has happened with us. I have beaten you two out of three times. Tyson Tomko has powerbombed you through a table. Trish Stratus has thoroughly embarrassed you at WrestleMania by turning you into an absolute kissy fool in order to join - and become the queen of - the national Peepulation. And you, the piece of crap that suffered it all, have the nerve to-"

"Hey, when you had more success in your career than any other time, I still kicked your ass and won tag team titles over you. If you didn't remember, Christian, back when you and Edge had your little Awesomeness dynasty tag team, the one TLC match you didn't win was when Chris Benoit and yours truly, the King of the World, Chris Jericho, came into the match, as well as you two, the Hardyz, and the Dudleyz, who were in every TLC tag match. We climbed the corporate ladder and claimed those two titles like you're nothing but a nutcase piece of crap!" Jericho exclaimed, earning a million pops from the people in the area, except for Stratus, Tomko, and somebody who just showed up.

"Hey, Jericho. Nice to know you're once again winning a popularity contest by trying to outstage me and claim superiority over me," Edge suddenly spoke up from behind. "So, what screwball jobs have you got this time? I'm supposed to be the World Heavyweight Champion!"

"Edge, I evened the playing field, and thanks to me, you had much better chance than Triple H. With everything I told you, did I forget to say I took him out of the picture when you and Benoit created the controversy? Look, Edge. Benoit's not the World's Champion either, but you don't see him blaming anybody that comes to mind, or making demands to the General Manager. Did you suddenly forget that?" Orton questioned Edge's earlier judgment.

"You want me to teach you a lesson, punk kid?" Edge immediately jabbered at Orton, coming to lunge at him until he was held back by Matt and Christian, and Randy was restrained by Jericho and the newly-appearing William Regal. Lita suddenly appeared and came between everything.

"Guys, stop it!" she immediately screamed, stopping everything. "You idiots are acting like babies here! Edge, Randy, you two already got yourselves in a one-on-one match for next week earlier tonight! Do you want to end up suspended for a month or something, or even being forced to fight each other one way or another every week?"

"Lita, I think I understand-"

"Don't 'I think I understand you' me, especially not tonight! This is tearing me apart from inside! You guys can't even host one pre- or post-show conversation without going out of your way to try to kill each other!"

"Well, isn't this an emotional display from the Walking Kiss of Death?" Trish said, drawing Lita's ire, as can be told in her look.

"I'm the one who should be taking this role! You took my Women's Title! I hate you, I hate you, I hate you!" the Queen of Stratusfaction desperately lamented.

"Trish, shut up! I hate you, too! I'm here trying to save our friends from committing a group suicide here, and you have the audacity to interrupt my efforts so you can whine about the Title coming into my hands? And Christian is supposed to be your boyfriend, for crying out loud!" Lita stormed at Trish. "I can't believe you! You shame me, because I felt sorry for you and called you my friend at one time!"

"Lita, would you quit being so harsh?" Tyson questioned the redhead's expressions of anger.

"Quit being so harsh, Tyson? I'm not being harsh. I'm supposed to be celebrating the fact that I'm the Women's Champion now, but the way these people keep trying to kill each other back here, and with the constant disrespect that Trish keeps dishing out to me because she feels like she is the coolest and sexiest Diva on the market and that she can say anything she wants whenever the hell she wants, you are all pissing me off!" the Extreme Diva immediately stormed after hearing Tomko. She then proceeded to leave the area. She did turn back to say some final words, too.

"Until you guys shape up and get some sense, I have no will to talk to any of you. You all need to stop fighting and consider the fact that you all ruined what was supposed to be my night to celebrate becoming the top woman on the block once again with my friends and the slut that I took the title from." As she walked off, pissed, the others were shell-shock frozen.

In the meantime, Stacy Keibler and Batista were talking right outside the Evolution locker room.

"So, why did you ask me to come here?" Stacy asked Batista.

"In case you didn't notice, Triple H is in a bit of a bad mood tonight, because he believes he should be the World Heavyweight Champion. And nothing that we've said has managed to get his mood up. So, even though it's probably not the smartest thing to do, I need you to try and help brighten him up a little bit before he goes berserk and hits me every week," Batista explained the situation to the young Empress of Legs.

"Dave, I'd be glad to help you, but considering the situation you're asking me to get into, I think it would be a compromise to my safety. I mean, imagine if I said something wrong here, or if Triple H already knows what you're doing. What's to say he won't go ballistic all over me?"

"He already knows why you're here, and that I'll trash him around if he does anything to you. I'm loyal to Triple H and Evolution, but I can't stand letting anyone assault the beautiful woman I'm in any current association with at any given time. So, he whacks you in the middle of this, he breaks a table by taking a Batista Bomb. Now, are you gonna get in there or not?" Batista asked her in a way which wasn't exactly harsh, but clearly proved that he absolutely wanted her to say yes.

"How about not?" a voice suddenly popped from behind Stacy. She and Batista turned to see none other than the Charismatic Enigma, Jeff Hardy.

"Jeff Hardy," Batista realized. "What the hell are you doing here?"

"For starters, I'd like a word with Triple H," Jeff spoke.

"What's this about?" Batista demanded.

"Maybe if you send him over, you'll find out," Jeff answered the Leviathan, prompting him to call Trips out of the locker room. The Game saw Stacy smiling and waving a little bit with her fingers, and Jeff standing, serious, right behind her.

"What could the national punk be doing in the arena tonight?" Trips asked the Enigma.

"So, let me get this straight. You get stripped of the World Title because you were taken out of the match in the decision, which is the usual legal case, so you decide you're gonna trash the place, chase young girls just for using the word 'former', and hit everybody, including your little friend Batista, with a chair? And then you expect me to find Stacy walking into your locker room to calm you down and not do anything about it?" Jeff asked Trips. "You know you're in no mental condition to be around hot girls, and that was proven when you tried to destroy one earlier tonight. Plus, I just happened to be in the arena. And you dare let Batista bring the lady to you? Please, man. You're about to get yourself fired, and your company sued, for sexual harassment. And don't tell me I'm being crazy about Stace, cause you damn well know it."

"You know what, Jeff?" Trips started.

"What?" Jeff interrupted.

"Go ahead and take your girlfriend with you. You're right. She wouldn't have helped until she played the game anyway," the Cerebral Assassin decided. Jeff then spit in his face, Stace waved goodbye with her hands, and they walked off. Trips was absolutely livid. Batista had to restrain him from doing some serious damage. Considering that Jeff is a Total Nonstop Action wrestler and a guest to the WWE tonight, and that Stacy was one of Raw's most beautiful Divas, Triple H was about to get himself into some serious trouble with the law. And we're talking Dusty Rhodes, Vince McMahon, Eric Bischoff, local authorities, and anyone in between who hates Hunter Hearst Helmsley.


	2. The World Heavyweight Discussion

Disclaimer: This is unassociated with any of my other stories, and I do not own any of the members of this story. I simply write this story due to my interest in Raw, especially with these certain superstars that have major roles.

Pairings: Edge/Lita, shades of Christian/Trish, a little bit Orton/Candace, and one of the great surprise pairings that I should've been working at Intergender Survivor Series.

Rating Info: This story is rated PG-13, as all of them are, for safety purposes.

**_The Stones of Raw_** by **Prime Time, Legend Champion**

Chapter 2: The World Heavyweight Discussion

Following 12/13/2004 episode of Raw

Von Braun Centre in Huntsville, AL

If you thought last week's show was exciting to watch, tonight's WWE Raw production was equally unpredictable and powerful. Tonight, Eric Bischoff began the night by coming out and reintroducing the situation with the World Heavyweight Championship. At this time, he had already gathered all three men at the interview area. Triple H cut into the pompous circumstance (as he called it) and spoke of the fact that a famous man said that to be the man, you've got to beat the man. Trips came in as the World Champion, and he didn't lose. Therefore, in his view, he's still the champion, and the belt should still be on his waist. It still has his name plate on it, which might be a little shady…

But as soon as the Game says that he could beat Edge or Chris Benoit, that's when Benoit gets in his face. Edge takes this time to speak that they had both blown countless opportunities this year, and Edge had never had a shot until the controversy match from two weeks back. Therefore, the World Heavyweight Title should be his. Suddenly, Edge struck Benoit, and all hell broke loose, Trips getting the worst of it. Bischoff ordered a rematch of the Jericho/Benoit vs. Trips/Batista matchup, and made the Edge vs. Orton match that Jericho had made last week be next. Ironic, since at the end of the night, those six men know that on January 9th, 2005, that will be involved in the latest version of the opportunity of a lifetime. After a hard fought battle in which the men had used simultaneous missed dropkicks and connected clotheslines, and both of them had crashed and burned at the high risk district, the match ended when Edge went for the Spear. Soon, he had to counter the RKO, and the Legend Champion was able to counter Edgecution, so it did not connect for the first time since Edge came back. The RKO connected on second try, and Orton beat Edge, which didn't look good on his resume, and stunned those who were still loyal Edgeheads.

The following scene saw Maria Kanellis, Christy Hemme, and Melina Perez come out and shoot out some shirts with a bazooka. Gene Snitsky suddenly showed up, claiming he wanted to have fun. But when Christy came to him and showed him how to work the bazooka, the Psycho Gene's hand soon engulfed her throat, and he said that fun for him was making somebody suffer, which in this case was young Christy. Suddenly, Lita came out. She noted that picking on women must make Snitsky feel like a big man, which meant he was incredibly frustrated because his efforts from last week's backstage intimidation (yes, people who don't know; he tried to scare Lita early in last week's show), she became the Women's Champion. Since he wanted a fight so much, she got a message from her husband, Kane, who claims that he will return to beat the holy hell out of Snitsky. This is sort of symbolic of Kane killing out The Undertaker last year and _gettung_ the holy hell beat out of him. Snitsky chases Lita, but after she escapes the area, he is blocked by the same wall of fire that bound Matt and Lita to the area during the marriage between Lita and Kane. Not once, but twice, Snitsky gets barred by the flames of the Big Red Machine. Once again, Kane is making Snitsky suffer psychologically, symbolic of what Undertaker had done to the Seven Foot Monster himself back last year.

Next, Christian is getting his face worked on by Candace, and at the same time, he's complaining to Tyson Tomko about the outfit last week and what it may have done to his reputation, and how it shamed the Peepulation/Christian Coallition. Tomko tells him to relax, but before opportunity can come up, Eugene suddenly appears and interrupts Captain Charisma's time by telling him that he's one of the kid's 10 favorite superheroes! Christian's about to choke out Eugene when Mick Foley shows up by saying that he has a huge announcement to make. Eugene puts Foley in a four way tie for his favorite wrestler (which used to be Triple H until the ill-fated betrayal) in which he actually steals Mick's cheap pop by mentioning a legend who is from right there in Huntsville. Mick and Eugene leave, and Christian finished his complaint. Well, not until Eugene comes back with Mr. Socko on his hand and says "have a nice day". Next, we catch Simon in Bischoff's office signing a contract to be an official Raw superstar in order to promote his Simon System. Before the talks complete, Benoit barges into the office, speaks of the eighteen years he took to win the Title at WrestleMania XX. He suggest a triple threat rematch and says that if Bischoff gives the title to anyone, it'll only prove to Benoit that Bischoff truly is a spineless man.

Chris Jericho and Chris Benoit's match against Batista and Triple H wound up great, but the Game hardly dominated like Batista said he should in order to make a case for himself. The match ended with the Cerebral Assassin actually about to tap out to the Crippler Crossface when the Leviathan came and attacked Benoit with one of the fiercest spinebusters he's ever delivered. He just pinned somebody off a spinebuster on the main brand show for the first time since those tag team matches with D-Von Dudley in which he had done that to Randy Orton back when they were on SmackDown. Ironically, it was Batista who told Triple H that when he stood dominant with his hands held high, he would know that he was the Champ, and it was Batista who actually did stand dominant with his hands held high.

Then, out came Mick Foley, to announce that the SmackDown from the Middle East for the holidays was going to be including him. He spoke of how honored he was to be going out there to entertain and represent those troops which risked their lives in order for him to be free. Suddenly, in came Muhammad Hassan and Khozrow Daivari, who came with the argument the US war on terrorism was evil because it promoted the mistreatment of Arab Americans, which is something that my brother is one of the good few people not to fall into since 9/11. They claimed the people have no true patriotism, because if they did, they wouldn't be behind this war. Mick Foley claimed to support America, and supremely stormed against the Muhammad and Khozrow's accusations that the brave soldiers who fight for us are (listen to this, people) gutless cowards and heartless infidels. He spoke of a good few soldiers who made sacrifices so Hassan could shoot his mouth off. Hassan, via persuasion of Daivari, did not accept an invitation to an ass-kicking at Foley Island, claiming that he wouldn't fight an idiot he didn't respect. He's the only guy to talk like that to Mick since Randy.

Soon, we had an interview with Trish Stratus conducted by Todd Grisham. Trish claimed to be the best woman's wrestler ever, and that she will get her title back. She then abruptly left. Then, Bischoff's office. Eric Bischoff was talking to a model named Rachelle, when Edge came in and counted his many reasons why he should be the Champion. He said that he wasn't voted in by the fans (quote him: "What exactly do the fans know?") at Taboo Tuesday, and he should have. Orton had made that controversial triple threat match out of what Edge feels should have been a one-on-one contest against Trips. Then, Bischoff was going to mention Orton beating Edge, who immediately cut and said he could leave him in the dust. Bischoff agreed to give Edge something he's never had before, and Edge, imagining the belt around his waist, thanked Bischoff and left. The following match before that, however, was a six-man tag team match. Maven aligned himself with Tyson and Christian against Shelton Benjamin, along with our Tag Team Champions, William Regal and a certain young Man Child named Eugene who took much abuse for about three straight minutes in the match. Maven and Benjamin became the only guys left in the ring and eventually ended the match, Maven pinning Benjamin (who had to watch his former tag partner Charlie Haas embarrass and dump off two beautiful women, including his fiancee, last night) using the ropes for extra leverage. Trips came into Eric's office, begging and crying like a baby that the World Title was his life, making his second speech claim to the title.

The show finally came to an end, as Bischoff made his appearance to make his decision. The three men came out, but Trips wasn't alone, as he brought along Ric Flair and Batista. Making a third verbal push for the gold, he said that success for Evolution was success for him, so he could give the belt to anybody from Evolution. Then, Bischoff made the decision; the controversy's three members would compete against one another, Randy Orton, Chris Jericho, and Batista for the World Heavyweight Title at New Year's Revolution in January inside the ill-fating Elimination Chamber. Hell broke loose, and it ended in Orton giving the RKO to his former Evolution running buddy, Batista.

-

"You're way too tense, Edge," Lita commented to him out in the hallway.

"What are you talking about?" Edge asked the Extreme Diva.

"Come on, you don't really expect me to have to answer that, do you?"

"Yeah. Why am I too tense?"

"You're perspiring with anger because you have to compete in this deathmatch in order to prove yourself as the World Heavyweight Champion. But isn't the World Title shot what you've been wanting all along? Isn't that why you turned on the fans after Taboo Tuesday?"

"Excuse me? The fans turned on me back at SummerSlam when I got booed to hell in my own hometown building. And that was back to when I was the Intercontinental Champion," Edge pointed out to her.

"That can only mean one thing," Christian said, himself and Trish suddenly appearing.

"What?" Edge asked his best friend and former tag team partner.

" It means that you're not as popular as Captain Charisma!" Christian boasted.

"You? Popular? Let me tell you this much, Captain Charisma; people have been booing you for a million years ever since you betrayed me back in 2001. People have cheered for me long before and much more compared to you. I, not you, got voted in when we were in high school as the most likely to be what was then the World Wrestling Federation Champion. People have booed you to hell every night while you and Trish were together in their eyes. You had no right to mention a Peepulation. And now that the storm has silenced, you think you've become popular. Well, reality check from Sparks Mineral here, Peep Man; the only reason the name Captain Charisma is popular is because of last week's ridiculous superhero outfit. Eugene might as well be Captain Charisma for crying out loud!" Edge said. Christian was beginning to get red, until Trish whispered something in his ear. Suddenly, he snickered.

"Well, the betrayal shockwaves were then, and this is now, Edge. The people laugh at me one time because of a stupid outfit I was forced to wear. They laugh at your angry after-lost face every week! When you attacked me after that tag match, they laughed at you! You got laughed at by the girl you told to shut up! I know it! Every time you lost and got more pissed off, they laughed at you because you couldn't help but play that ridiculous angry face of yours! Even I was cracking my skulls out in the back! You can even ask your new girlfriend over here, and she'll tell you it was funny. You disrespect those people, and they find constant opportunities to laugh at you, Edge. Oh, and you know one more thing?"

"Yeah, go ahead and make it snappy," Edge retorted.

"The way you blame everybody for the fact that you're not the World Heavyweight Champion, you might as well be just as psycho as that idiot Snitsky, cause you're starting to look like him. You don't deserve to be in the same situation here as The Undertaker is on SmackDown, because from what I've seen, you can't handle it! If I'm an unpopular man, then you're nothing more than a convicted felon! How do you like them apples, man?" Christian said, walking off with pride in his and Trish's face.

Edge sat down on the floor. It was the only thing he could do to keep himself from lashing out to strike Christian.

In the meantime, Stacy Keibler was walking down a different section of the hallway and trying to hold a successful conversation with...well, whaddya know? JH is in the arena again. Then all of a sudden, the older Hardy came along.

"Yo, Jeff!" he called from behind Jeff and Stacy. They turned around and came to him.

"Matt, man! What's up? I didn't think you'd be here," Jeff greeted his older brother.

"Yeah, considering the knee injury, I wouldn't be surprised. But you're a TNA superstar now. You're not a common name around these parts either," Matt spoke. "Oh, hey Stace."

"Hi, Matt," Stacy hello'd him.

"Can you guys tell me if you've seen Lita?" Matt asked them.

"I heard from Christian that you weren't gonna talk to her since that Kane thing came up and split you two apart. Trust me, if I weren't in business of my own with that punk Jarrett over at TNA, I'd have been right there to help you guys out," Jeff told his brother.

"Yeah, well, I think now would be a good time to break ice. And trust me; there's a lot of it to break."

"For your information, it seems the redhead known as the Walking Kiss of Death is seriously sleeping around," Trish suddenly said from behind Matt, alongside Tyson Tomko and Christian, most predictable of all people.

"Yeah, and her next target, people," Christian announced, "is none other than my good friend, the supposed Arch of Awesomeness, Edge."

"What the hell are you talking about?" Matt demanded.

"Are they talking too much or something?" Jeff asked.

"Exactly," Christian answered.

"Hey, guys, let's go. Don't want this mess to brew in the Peepulation's faces, now do ya?" Tyson advised the friends who brought him in, leading them out of the zone. Matt and Jeff looked at each other, and Stacy back and forth to them, all with this thought in their heads:

"What the hell is this?"

In the meantime, there were other discussions going on around Raw, such as Maven and Muhammad Hassan coming to the Evolution office at different time intervals, Shelton Benjamin enjoying a phone conversation with a former tag team partner or two, and then, there's Edge, who is finally shown here with Lita not around.

Right now, Khozrow Daivari and Muhammad Hassan were standing outside the Evolution locker room, welcomed by Triple H.

"Welcome to Raw, kids," Triple H spoke.

"Kids?" Muhammad objected.

"Sorry about that, uh… the name's Muhammad, right?" Trips asked for clarification purposes.

"Yes. Muhammad Hassan. And this is my manager, Khozrow Shawn Daivari," Muhammad said, introducing himself clearly along with his manager. "And I take it you're the great Cerebral Assassin, Triple H. Correct?"

"Yeah. I'm Triple H. My name gets around a lot these days. Well, then, let's start over, shall we. Welcome to Raw, Muhammad, Khozrow," Trips started, shaking hands with each of them.

"Thank you."

"Now, listen carefully. You're entering a whole new world, Muhammad. Raw is not like a football game against some pop warner practice squad. You've gotta be ready for anything and everything, and I mean that. No matter who you are, or where you come from, every raw aspect of your personal life as well as your in-ring career will be given a two-thousandfold entourage of twists and turns every time you can expect some, and then some. If you try endearing yourself to these fans, they will love you, you will get high off their support whenever you're in a tight spot, but you will be so wrapped up in showing off to them that you lose track of the main objective, which is to succeed in the middle of the ring. And when that happens, Brock Lesnar can eat donuts and chips, drink soda and beer, and be inactive in anything for an entire month, and he will still kick your ass; that's a known fact on anyone. But if you follow your own heels, they will hate you, and crappy general managers like Theodore Long on SmackDown and Eric Bischoff over here will do everything they humanely can to make your life a living hell. Believe me, I speak to JBL every day, and I give him permission to say he's greater than me because he needs to promote himself. I even keep close contact with Jarrett whenever I can, and these General Managers are looking to destroy us. Why do you think I'm no longer the World Heavyweight Champion?"

"So, in essence, until the fans learn to accept me as I am, then I'll have to worry about that same disacceptance from Eric Bischoff?" Muhammad asked to make sure he heard right.

"Exactly. So, be careful out there, okay? People hate me because I speak the truth and I'm better than everyone else. People hate you because you're Arab American and you have as much potential in this business as Batista. When they boo you for something, or even when you come out and they boo you, don't let it get to ya. Oh, and one more thing; if you decide to gun for the World Title when it's in or very near my possession, I'll do everything I can to cut you apart. It's not out of any prejudice; it's the art of taking advantage of your competition. That's why I'm the Cerebral Assassin. I'm just giving Batista a chance to be loyal to the cause that is Evolution; that's the reason I haven't jumped him yet. So, with all that being said; welcome to Raw, Muhammad. And… try to enjoy your life while you're here. Forget about Mick Foley. He's a piece of crap. His last matches were all against me or my people, and we kicked him in the dust. You can get going if you want."

"Thank you. Triple H, you may be a shady westler - and a great one at that - but you are also one of the few honorable Americans left," Muhammad said, leaving.

"Glad to be one, my friend," Trips called, finishing the conversation. Suddenly, enter Maven.

"Wow, so you fool Hassan and Daivari into thinking you're their new best friend. How low can you go?"

"Hey, wait a minute," Triple H said, pretending to realize the next point as if he were a 9-year-old kid rather than a 9-time Heavyweight Champion. "Aren't you that punk kid who turned down a chance to be with Evolution for a title match which you failed miserably, and then started hitting Eugene just because he eliminated you in a battle royal, a reason much more pointless than the one I have?"

"Well, look who's talking, Triple H. You're the coward who convinced Vince McMahon to get you out of that battle royal because since you knew anyone could be the champion, that meant a lot less chance for you to be king, right? And you saw Jericho, Benoit, Orton and Edge a-comin' when I booked myself in for your World Title, so you decided to try inviting me into Evolution so as not to have to go through everybody, right?" Maven spoke.

"You're lucky about a couple of things," Trips started. "First of all, you recognized that that World Heavyweight Championship is mine. Second of all, you're fighting three men who, you know damn well, I hate them more than you do. I mean, look at Eugene. He can't even spell 'Tag Team Championship' without looking at it on the belt, and whaddya know? To help him out, one belt also has his name on it because La Resistance has done nothing but suck."

"And Shelton Benjamin!" Maven burst. "He's a street thug, he used to jack somebody's head off with a gun at school every day. He admitted it himself! How the hell did he team with a respectable all-American athlete, Charlie Haas, win two tag team titles with him as the team was using a different name each time, come here and beat everybody in Evolution, and become the Intercontinental Champion?"

"He's using steroids or something," Trips suggested. "No thug can even combine his luck and skill to be that effective. And don't even put up John Cena, he's a dilluted ghetto version of 'Stone Cold' Steve Austin. And where will that get him? Nowhere."

"Excuse me, gentlemen?" Shelton interrupted the proceedings. "Did I hear something said about steroids? For your information, Maven, I overheard that you were 'talking' to the Steroid Monkey himself, Scott Steiner, last night!"

"What? You've gotta be joking," Maven points out.

"Mave, you used to be my homeboy. Now you've changed. And why? Because you got eliminated by a half-brained child man in a battle royal? Big deal! That's not some ordinary half-brained child man! His mind is fully consumed by his wrestling knowledge and passion! Everything else has come out of his mind, but he can at least beat your ass ten times a night. And just because he beat you in a battle royal, you've gotta develop this serious attitude problem?" Shelton questioned Maven. "I just got a call from Charlie about you and about his girls, and he says you should go to SmackDown and try to get hooked up with Dawn Marie. Yeah, I know, she's a slut, but that's as high as you can go. You too, Triple H. You are a whoremaster, right?"

"Maven, if all three of us end up in the ring at the same time, please remind me to **_kill him with every inch of my fury!_**" Trips said.

"You're also a big baby. Both of you. I'll leave baby boy and girl here to cry together. Maybe when you're men again, I'll catch up with you," Shelton excused himself.

Out in the halls again, Randy Orton was talking to Candace.

"Can you believe this guy? He just didn't pay any attention to me or to his face. He was completely grumpy and rude," Candace complained to Randy, apparently about a certain Captain Charisma.

"I'll straighten him out. Don't worry. Oh, speaking of the Peep Man, here comes his best friend of twenty years," Randy said. "I've got a bit of a word for him. I'll meet you in the locker room, okay." Randy said, Candace nodding and giving him a small mouth-to-mouth peck before leaving. Randy came to Edge andstopped him.

"Well, if it isn't the man who just cost me my World Heavyweight Championship again!" Edge yelled. "What the hell do you want."

"Edge, I just wanted to talk to you about the, uh, Elimination Chamber match at Revolution," Randy started. "We could be facing two tag teams in that match. You know what I'm saying?"

"Yes, Randy, I know exactly what you're saying. You're thinking that maybe Triple H and Batista will align themselves together, and so will Benoit and Jericho. And you want me to align myself with you if that happens, right?" Edge guessed.

"Exactly," Randy clarified.

"Not gonna happen, Orton boy," Edge denied the request. "First of all, you put Benoit in the middle of a match that should have seen me dethrone Triple H for the World Heavyweight Championship! Benoit's feet hit first, I won the battle royal, it should have been me and only me going against Triple H! So now, you put Benoit in, and what happens? My World Heavyweight Title becomes vacant instead of mine! And then, you and I have a match on the night Bischoff decides the fate of the Heavyweight Title. What do you do? You counter both Spear and Edgecution, and then you beat me with an RKO, perhaps costing me the World Heavyweight TiItle and storing yourself in a picture you don't belong in in the first place! And you want me for the RKO Army? I don't think so, pal!"

"Hey, do you want to get handicapped and eliminated?" Randy asked Edge, who had nothing to say. "I didn't think so."

"In that case, fine. But as soon as we're done with them, I'm kicking your ass and taking that title. It is rightfully mine, and at New Year's Revolution, I will do nothing short of proving that," Edge said, walking away. But then, he came back. "Oh, by the way; I saw you and Candace. You really think you're big because you've got a new girlfriend, don't you? Well, for your information, Candace is as new as they come to Raw. She probably doesn't even realize how much of a failure you were as the World's Champion. Now let me get out of here and let your love nest of stinktatude flow in its own riverwater cyanide and stew in its own muck."

"Oh, and nothing's happening between you and Lita?" Randy questioned Edge.

"No. Not right now, anyway, and even if it did, you have no right to disrespect her, or to use her for the purpose of disrespecting me. She is older than you, and has wrestled longer. She has been known to bust her ass off in maneuvers that have worked to the advantage of the 3 Xtreme, and to the detriment of women wrestlers such as Trish and tag teams such as Christian and myself! Candace, on the other hand, has spent more time walking down runways and showing herself off than she has spent even talking to any of us WWE superstars over this her first month. So go ahead and kiss my awesome ass, cause you're not big, crazy ass sunglasses like moi." Edge said, walking off and leaving Randy defeated in this banter session.

"Whoa, he's good," Randy realized.

"Yeah, this is gonna be tough," Matt said, behind him.


	3. The Elimination Chamber

Disclaimer: This is unassociated with any of my other stories, and I do not own any of the members of this story. I simply write this story due to my interest in Raw, especially with the superstars who have major roles in my dialogue.

Pairings: Edge/Lita (developing), shades of Christian/Trish, and one of the great surprise pairings I should have been working on since Intergender Survivor Series.

UPDATE! The Orton/Candace pairing has taken a cut. I'm not that far interested in it. It will be reduced to a friendship.

Rating Info: This story is rated PG-13, as all of them are, for safety purposes.

**_The Stones of Raw_** by **Prime Time, Legend Champion**

Chapter 3: The Elimination Chamber

Following 12/27/2004 episode of Raw

Gulf Coast Coliseum in Biloxi, MS

Last week, Raw had taken a week off to celebrate the Best of Raw 2004, and Smackdown went to Iraq to give the soldiers a piece of Americana. Mick Foley and Lilian Garcia represented Raw on the trip, and the last live Raw, two weeks ago, was great, but onto tonight's show.

Eric Bischoff announced a "Beat the Clock" event which would feature the Elimination Chamber Superstars and six other men. The basic explanation would be that we have ourselves a clean slate, and six matches would fill it up. In each match would be one of the initial competitors in the World Heavyweight Championship Elimination Chamber match, and one of another six men from the Raw roster. The winner in each match would earn the final decision of having that spot in the Chamber match. And not only that, the timer would be important as well, because the amount of time it takes for the winner to be decided will determine the order in which they get released from their individual chambers.

To start the festivities, Chris Jericho took on his former best friend, Christian. After a hard-fought match in which Tyson Tomko wore the first Captain Charisma T-shirt and interfered on the behalf of the Show Stealer, Christian still tapped out to the Walls of Jericho, meaning that the King of the World was still the man in the match. He won in 10 minutes and 47 seconds, which turned out to be the slowest time. Following the match was Evolution. Ric Flair was getting Triple H and Batista's confidence levels up, and Batista was already up. Trips was concerned because he had no clue who his opponent was going to be. Flair concluded by saying that they knew that Trips was going to get the fastest time, and that he was going to be the World Champion at the end of the night. (yeah, like Big Dave's gonna stand for this… )

Next, Randy Orton had an interview with backstage interview diva, Maria Kanellis. He spoke of making the new year's resolution that at New Year's Revolution, he was walking out of that match a second-time World Heavyweight Champion. Then came his match. The competitor he was facing was a friend of his in the past, the much disgruntled Maven. Randy seemed to be getting controlled at first, but came away with the RKO and the win at 6:14.

The next match finished in about a minute. It was between the Queen of Extreme (Lita) and the Wholesome Diva (Molly Holly). Molly barely got on the offensive when Lita gave her that Raven Effect-like DDT and won the match. Suddenly, Gene Snitsky showed up and played a personal game of tag with Lita. When she locked herself in a door to hide from Snitsky, Eric Bischoff appeared and asked him if he was having fun. He said he was having a blast, and Eric said that at New Year's Revolution, he would be facing Kane.

Simon Dean and Rosey, one of the superheavyweights of Raw, had a match next. When Simon came out, he disrespected Rosey and the Mississippi fans, calling them oinking pigs and disgusting hogs. This match wasn't very long either. Simon once put on a heavyweight belt to try lifting up Rosey, and got splattered down for his efforts. Rosey then took the belt, planning to use it as a weapon, and - like a good referee - Mike Chioda didn't let him. Simon Dean suddenly came up with the school boy cradle and pinned Rosey's weight, 1, 2, 3.

The next match was the Arch of Awesomeness, Edge, taking on the Man Child, Eugene, in another Elimination Chamber spot match. Within this match, we saw Eugene toy around with Edge by going out to the outside and saying hi to the fans. This was with 4½ minutes already gone by in this match, meaning only 1¼ left for Edge to beat Orton's then-record time. Eugene may have just been too giddy and happy and 'good time guy', or he may have been working a strategy by purposely prolonging the match so Edge can suffer from frustration. Though he got caught by Edge when he went into stationary hiding, got two of his favorite special moves countered, and received a Spear for his efforts, the plan worked. However, the frustration didn't take Edge out of the game. It intensified him, and both guys got to serious business. However, when Edge applied his submission move, the Edgecator, it was only a matter of time before Eugene tapped out. The move is a sort of Sharpshooter-Ankle Lock variation that he probably created when beefing with Kurt Angle back in his Smackdown days. I calculated that the total match time was 8:46, more than three minutes behind the next winner.

That winner was Chris Benoit, who had a tough match against Viscera. Well, it was tough for a 5:43 victory. The Mohawk Knight dominated most of the match and displayed a little bit of athleticism and smart wrestling with which he used his size. However, when Benoit got a German suplex on him, he finally did the near-impossible and got in the Crippler Crossface. Viscera held on for over 40 seconds before his lack of ability to get out of the move caused him to tap out to the Rabid Wolverine. At this point, 4/4 men successfully kept their Chamber spots, and Benoit had the fastest time. Now, it was up to Evolution's two men to finish the determination of the balance.

The latter-neighboring moment saw Stacy Keibler show out in a hot outfit (as usual) and thank the WWE fans for making Raw rock in 2004, and for voting her in to be the first Babe of the Year outside of Trish Stratus. (but she didn't mention it that far) Now, she was vocally and visually claiming to bend over forwards and backwards to help Raw 2005 be an even better year. Then, out came Muhammad Hassan and Khozrow Daivari, who ejected Stacy from the area and spoke their self-promoting rubbish about Arab American mistreatment. Now, it was true to an extent, but the way they exaggerated it, it was just as ridiculous. Those two fools even went as far as to blame Jerry Lawler and Jim Ross, the announcers. This led to a confrontation.

Next, we saw Eric Bischoff talking to Candace about her Christmas holiday when Jonathan Coachman (who had earlier come to Eric Bischoff's office about what I'm about to say) showed up, claiming that the special guest referee for the Elimination Chamber match was here, and things just got a lot more interesting. Then came Muhammad and Daivari, bringing their complatint against Lawler and Ross to the office and demanding a match against them. With the proper claim that JR isn't even a wrestler, Bischoff didn't sanction that match. Rather, he allowed a debate to come next week.

Lawler and Ross had their words to say about it, and then came Batista. His opponent was Rhyno, who proceeded to piss him off with a slap. Batista proceeded to kick out of a Gore, and obliterate Rhyno with two Batista Bombs. The match ended in three minutes and two seconds, which turned out to be the fastest time even after Triple H's own.

Speaking of Triple H, upon entry to the locker room, Batista was immediately chastised by the Game over beating the clock. Batista told Trips that Rhyno pissed him off, and he did what he did. He apologized, but Trips kept yelling in his face, proving that he was not about to let Batista off the hook. Then, Dave said he was being pissed off by Trips now. Flair tried to calm them down with that "Evolution comes first" talk, although these days, I doubt that's gonna help anybody. Then out they came for the match. As Triple H came out, all the competitors had their seats at ringside. Batista and Flair accompanied Trips to the ring, and it was after Batista took his seat that Trips looked down everyone. And it was when Shelton Benjamin's music came up that everyone, Batista included, had at least a small grin on their face, proving indeed that E.I.D. theory. When Trips got a submission maneuver in and won the match due to Shelton's lifelessness, Benjamin put a foot on the rope. This led to the immediate cancelling of the decision by senior referee Earl Hebner, and Trips and Hebner argued, leading to Benjamin nearly bringing his vs. Triple H record to 4-0. However, thanks to Ric Flair and only Ric Flair, Trips managed to come away with the victory, and _three seconds behind Benoit's time_, meaning he lost two order places instead of one! (he probably doesn't know yet) But the real trouble came when Eric Bischoff announced that Shawn Michaels would be the guest referee in the Elimination Chamber on January 9th. Michaels' deep history with many members of the Raw locker room included that nobody in that match was liking this announcement. The entire event saw the Raw Diva Search winner, Christy Hemme, as the beautiful timekeeper and bellringer who knows how to leave, change outfits, and get back between short intermissions.

-

Anyway, since I'm running a little low on time today, this chapter has to be cut a little short. Unless I feel this a little much, this expects to be the shortest chapter. With that out of the way, Shawn Michaels ends up having a problem with Christian in the back shortly after the end of the show.

"Hey, Michaels. What the hell are you doing back here?" Christian asked him in a disapproving tone.

"First of all, I'm gonna call this match right down the middle with the Elimination Chamber. The World Heavyweight Champion will be determined by my honorable hand with an absolute promise of fairness to the Raw locker room. And if you want me to cheat for Edge to win or for Jericho to lose or something, all of them have some kinda problem with me, and you can take your fake charisma in another direction," Michaels told him. "Second of all, when all that is said and done, I'm gonna do what I've gotta do in order to get to challenge for that World Title. If you wanna jump on the bandwagon when I become the king in this ring, then be my guest. All I know, you're not gonna be happy when I'm finished with ya."

"Of course I'm gonna jump on the bandwagon. I'm the Show Stealer, the Peep Man! I'm Captain Charisma! I hope to one day represent my Peeps as the World Heavyweight Champion here on Raw, and if I have to go through you to do it, that'll be just perfect!" Christian said.

"I've beaten you before, greenhorn," Michaels retorted.

"Oh, yeah? Well, I have, too!" Christian answered back.

"I've beaten you in singles action. You won in a tag team match!" Michaels pointed out.

"So?" Christian asked.

"I'm a better singles competitor than you!" Michaels responded, concluding his earlier statement.

"Well, I know one thing. You're not better than Edge. And I know him like the back of his book, so if you decide you're gonna declare yourself the Champion when he pins Triple H last, I wouldn't be surprised. After all, Steve Austin did that once to _Undertaker_ and _Kane_, and you screwed Bret Hart!" Christian yelled in the face of the Heart Break Kid.

"W-w-wait a minute, did I hear this right?" Chris Jericho suddenly came up, causing both Michaels and Christian to turn around towards him. "Captain Charisma, did I just hear you kiss Edge's ass?"

"What are you talking about? The fact that I said he's gonna beat Triple H to become the World Champ? That is my honest opinion! I know all of Edge's moves, despite the fact that there's still one we haven't seen in a long time. I know his talent, because I've tag teamed with it, and I've felt it myself when I was against him. I know his drive, because of the exact same reason as his talent. I know he wants this, and he can get it. And honestly, I think he will, if you two don't screw this up!"

"Hey, he's got a point. They've been best friends for over twenty years," Jericho mentioned.

"But wouldn't that be more reason to kiss his ass?" Michaels asked, putting an insight question into the Highlight of the Night.

"Have you no respect for this friendship that I share with Christian here? We've known each other before both of your careers were born, so how can you tell me he's kissing my ass? Christian is absolutely right! Haven't I stressed it ten million times how much I've been getting overlooked in the World Heavyweight Championship picture?" the Arch of Awesomeness suddenly interrupted the picture. The others didn't even say a word. "Exactly. I can get the title, I want the title, and at New Year's Revolution, I'm gonna get it. And I don't care what anybody says. Oh, by the way; where's Trish?"

"Her room," Christian bluntly said. "Why?"

"We're just gonna have a little fun," Edge said. "It's no big deal." Then, he smirked to Christian, giving him the feeling of the worst, and walked off.

"Hey, get the hell back here, you show stealer! I'm gonna kick your ass into your grandfather life!" Christian yelled, threatening and prepared to attack. The only problem was that he was restrained by Randy Orton and Matt Hardy, who just showed up.

"Hey, Christian! Lighten up, man! Isn't 'Show Stealer' your nickname?" Edge called to him from seemingly miles ahead.

"Hey, idiots! Let go of me!" Christian ordered Matt and Randy. This only made them hold on tighter as he struggled to break free after Edge.

"Ha ha ha ha ha ha! I can't believe it! Trish and I agreed to discuss a little bet about getting our titles at New Year's Revolution! What, did you think we were gonna do the nasty radishing?" Edge called. Christian looked completely dazed and confused at that point. How the hell did he think...

Then, everyone laughed.

"Shut up!" Christian ordered them all, running towards Edge, who was simply walking away.

"Hey, Edge. You better mark my words, man. I'm gonna get you for this," Christian said.

"I'd like to see you try," Edge dared him.

"Unfortunately, I don't have anything right now. But when I do, you better watch out," Christian warned his best friend. As Edge walked off, Christian smirked much in the evil-looking way that the other Awesomeness Dynasty member has done a lot lately.

"Christian, what's going on around here?" Lita suddenly asked him from behind. With that, his smirk grew even larger.

"Lita, have I ever told you about the day Edge tricked me into thinking he and Trish were gonna go into hydraulics hyperdrive with each other?" Christian asked the Queen of Extreme, leading her down the hall.

"No, when did that happen?" Lita answered with a question.

"Just now," Christian said.

Speaking of these friendships from old times, Viscera, the man who Chris Benoit just recently beat to retain his Elimination Chamber spot and eventually reach second place as far as fastest time, was in his locker room, packing his bags in order to get on a plane somewhere, when there was suddenly a knock on the door. Vis invited the person in, and it was his friend, the Vampire Warrior, Gangrel.

"Gangrel, what are you doing here?"

"Heard from one of Bischoff's friends you were wrestling a match," Gangrel answered the quite obvious question. "Turns out you failed to get in the chamber. But not too many people can put Benoit in such a bad spot."

"What are you talking about? His time was second fastest," Viscera pointed out.

"Hey, I was watching the match from backstage, and I saw everything. You basically dominated the entire match, really. And on that one play he managed to get, the one with which he won the match?"

"Yeah, what about it?" Vis asked him.

"You tapped out after forty seconds. I know a lot of people back here who can get out of it but wouldn't have taken that much time to tap," Gang pointed out, brightening his friend's probably already light spirits about the match.

"I see you're impressed," Viscera said. "Well, I'm glad for you. You're a good pal, considering your evil persona."

"Hey, you have one, too. It clicks, man," Gangrel pointed out.

"Yeah, you're right," Viscera agreed. "But, uh…"

"What?"

"I have no clue what to say next."

"Ha. Ha ha ha ha."

Now, Randy and Candace having a "final" discussion.

"Hey, Candace," Randy started. "I just got to thinking. Maybe we're moving a little too fast. Considering that we've barely started talking for two weeks and I'm already starting to like you as more than a friend, this is dangerous."

"Yeah, I get ya," Candace understood. "So, it's friends?"

"Yup. Just the way I have to like it," Randy said.

"Did the relationship receive a frenzied dash and rush itself to death?" Trips suddenly said from behind them.

"Triple H, you wouldn't know the half of it. You were using Stephanie McMahon as a power grip when you married her. If it wasn't for Vince and Stephie propelling you to the top, how far would you have gotten? You would probably be the guy behind Shawn Michaels competing only for the Intercontinental Title. And you know it!" Randy immediately countered the taunt from the Game.

"You see this, Candace? This is what you call a man?" Trips questioned the girl.

"Hey, don't put Candace in the middle of this mess. You're the one whose manhood has a right to be questioned," Randy immediately stopped the mind games.

"You know what?" Trips started.

"What?" Randy demanded.

"Go handle your business. I have enough troubles without this crap," the Cerebeal Assassin excused himself from the area. Randy and Candace looked at each other, "speaking" a message about the Game's incredulous interruption to their discussion.

"Are you done yet?" Christy suddenly asked, having come behind Candace from out of nowhere.

"Yeah, we're done. She can go," Randy said. As he watched Candace and Christy leave, having nothing else to do…

"Yup. It's hard," Matt said from behind him.

"This is the second time, Matt."


	4. Stratus CloudsAChanging

Disclaimer: This is unassociated with any of my other stories, and I do not own any of the members of this story. I simply write this story due to my interest in Raw, especially with the superstars who have major roles in my dialogue.

Pairings: Possibilities of Edge/Lita _or_ Kane/Lita, very questionable possibilities of Christian/Trish, and whenever I can get JH to show up, a special pair I should have been working at Intergender Survivor Series.

UPDATE! Both the Christian and Edge pairings have been affected by the event which completed with the return of Kane, as that event has gone on to raise some character complications. And, sorry to disappoint, but as major as a pay-per-view event is, there will be no post-PPV dialogue chapters, because I don't watch, and I can barely even collect the information.

Rating Info: This story is rated PG-13 for safety purposes.

**_The Stones of Raw_** by **Prime Time, Legend Champion**

Chapter 4: Stratus Clouds A-Changing

Following 1/3/2005 episode of Raw

Nassau Coliseum in Uniondale, NY

Every sign in the world was showing that the Big Red Machine, Kane, was coming back to Raw at or before New Year's Revolution to beat the living hell out of Gene Snitsky, much like Kane's own brother The Undertaker, who lives on Smackdown, a) returned to beat the living hell out of Kane himself last year at WrestleMania XX, and b) is coming to beat the living hell out of a psycho named Heidenreich who is much like Snitsky; large, evil-minded, and ugly. And tonight, it finally happened.

First, we saw my good friend (not literally) Eric Bischoff holding the World Heavyweight Championship, in his office, delivering a public service announcement to introduce us to the art of the program. He mentioned the crowning of a new World Heavyweight Champion at New Year's Revolution, and last week's "Beat the Clock" challenge, and then said that tonight, they'd get to beat each other. He announced the matches:

Batista vs. Chris Benoit to begin the night.

Edge vs. Chris Jericho shortly thereafter.

Triple H vs. Randy Orton as the absolute main event.

And immediately after the announcement, Batista came out, followed by Chris Benoit. The match was on. The two fought long and hard and well, and Batista lost advantage early when he exposed a turnbuckle and turned his back on Benoit. However, a few notable moments include Batista taking Benoit off another turnbuckle and pulling off a fisherman suplex type maneuver that it takes a ton of power to pull, Batista applying a tough single leg crab immediately thereafter and getting impatient enough to use Chris Benoit's arm in order to try to tap him out, and then… the vaunted escape of the Crippler Crossface. Batista dodged it like no other by using his strength to push his way up out of it and ramming Benoit's head into the exposed buckle! One pained arm from the Crossface was sucked up, as the Leviathan then applied his sit-down Batista Bomb and covered Benoit to win. We go to commercial.

Then, we get back on the network. Evolution is showing extreme confidence about Batista's rock solid performance, and it continues on when he gets back. It only stops when he strictly demands Triple H give him 100 for a bet that was made last week about the "Beat the Clock" event. Batista won the bet because he got the fastest time, and thus one that was faster than Triple H. He wouldn't even accept Flair's money, but the special twist; when Trips finally takes out the cash from his bag and gives it to Batista, Big Dave reveals that he was just kidding! The next backstage operation was an interview Maria was going to be conducting with Gene Snitsky. Before the interview, the footage of Snitsky destroying Kane at Taboo Tuesday showed up, and then came the Genetic Evilness himself. Snitsky said that he was surprised that Kane was ever coming back, especially so soon, and then sniffed out Maria, asking her if she liked surprises. She bailed for her life, and then Snitsky took the mic and said that he had a surprise that Kane brought upon himself. In the final segment, Edge, in Bischoff's office, complained that it was unfair that Shawn Michaels was the guest referee in the Elimination Chamber, and the General Manager simply mentioned the revenue that was lost by the six weeks added to Michaels' absence and told Edge to take out his anger on his opponent, Jericho.

That is exactly what happened, as Edge and Jericho had yet another very competitive one-on-one confrontation. However, after about perhaps ten minutes, Edge won the match on a rollup with utilization of the mat and ropes for leverage purposes. As Edge celebrated at the ramp, Jim Ross questioned Edge's pride in the way he won the match, but Jerry "the King" Lawler pointed out that when it comes to the World Heavyweight Championship, it doesn't matter how you do it, you just must win.

Following that match, we saw Sylvan Grenier and Shelton Benjamin. Shelton and Sly started the match after Sly hit Shelton, actually. Why? As Benjamin made his way to the ring, Maven suddenly showed up and went to the announce table with the voices of Raw, Jerry Lawler and Jim Ross. This distracted Benjamin, leaving him to be hit out from behind by Grenier, who distracted the referee so Robert Conway could hit Shelton with the Quebec flag and put him back into the ring. From there, the match went on. When Grenier tried the nip-up headspring, it didn't work, and he covered Benjamin to reduce the embarrassment, though it didn't get him the win. In fact, immediately following that move, he spent so much time talking to Conway that it eventually cost him the match. During the match, Maven was talking about having 63 friends over, watching the footage of him pinning Benjamin, and looking in disbelief at Maven without the Intercontinental Title after that. He clearly showed in his dialogue that he wanted a title match against Shelton Benjamin. The result is a match between Shelton and Maven for the Intercontinental Title at New Year's Revolution.

Next was the Arab-American Treatment Debate between Muhammad Hassan and Daivari against the voices of Raw, Jerry "the King" Lawler and "Good Ol' JR" Jim Ross. Hassan and Daivari constantly spoke of every American as a racist and a hater against Arab Americans, saying that _we use the 9/11 terrorist attacks to let their true feelings of contempt towards his race come out!_ That idiot seriously needs to understand it's not everybody. I almost want to kill him for this…

Anyway, Ross and Lawler shared the populace's sentiments exactly. There are racists and idiots, but that's also true in every country, as Lawler said. There are haters of all kinds and against all attributes in every nation on Earth, for crying out loud! But, uh… that's not everybody, and anyone reading who's in that, I recommend you stop, for the sanity of the victims, and for this dumbass's sake. Um… okay, I should stop now. Lawler pointed out the accusations that the troops who fight to die for us overseas are **gutless cowards**, and to the characterization of everyone as a racist, saying that we hate them because they're loud-mouth, obnoxious jackasses. Thank you very much!

So now, they say that most Arab Americans (they being MH&D) make them sick because they stand there and take the crap, and then point to JR and call him a coward, claiming that he'll talk big time when they're not around and then shut up when faced. Ross now points and says that Hassan and Daivari need to take the following advice about America: "Love it or leave it". The following incident is a ruthless assault by Hassan and Daivari which lands in JR getting gagged and King busted open. The two Arabian Psychos leave, hands held high. This resulted in a match being called between Lawler and Hassan for New Year's Revolution. Coach had to take over for the rest of the show, although Ross did come back for the main event between Randy and Trips.

The following match tonight, however, was a contest between Trish Stratus and Victoria, who have been rivals ever since Victoria came into this roster. The match turned out to be competitive, though Trish dominated early, showing higher aggression than even lately usual. Stratus won with a Chick Kick to the back of Victoria's head, and then took a mic and warned Lita that this was going to happen to her at Revolution. Lita then came out, and the two girls - who had been keeping their cool about this for another million years - really got it on in the middle of the ring. Lita eventually took the advantage, and then a fire burst out at the stage. She went back to abusing Trish, when Gene Snitsky showed up, and helped Trish get a Chick Kick in to seriously take the upper hand on Lita. Then, he put a steel chair around Lita's neck, and rather than showing enough respect to at least ask Snitsky nicely to stop, she continued talking trash, as the Genetic Evilness attempted to once again kill somebody's neck by stomping on the chair. I personally think that Lita herself could get killed with that kind of a shot, but the lights went into a red darkness as the Big Red Machine, Kane, finally made his return, music and person! Trish bailed before we could ever see her again, and Kane beat the living hell out of Snitsky, who rushed to the outside to start the brawl, and then bailed through the crowd. Kane returned to the ring, and he and Lita finally stood side by side, thinking about how close Lita came to a re-broken neck, and possibly a deathly shortened life. The red lighting and turnbuckle fires started again along with the Big Red Machine's music.

After a look at the punishing Elimination Chamber's second piece of action, Coach revealed the card, starting with Lawler's request and reception of a match against Hassan at Revolution. The card at this moment is as follows:

Jerry Lawler (w/Jim Ross) vs. Muhammad Hassan (w/Daivari)

Kane vs. Gene Snitsky

Shelton Benjamin defending WWE Intercontinental Championship vs. Maven

Lita defending WWE Women's Championship vs. Trish Stratus

Eugene and William Regal defending World Tag Team Championships vs. Christian and Tyson Tomko

Chris Jericho vs. Edge vs. Randy Orton vs. Triple H vs. Chris Benoit vs. Batista in an Elimination Chamber for the World Heavyweight Championship

Following that, Christy Hemme was doing a photo shoot when Eugene showed up. Christy and Eugene… kill me for this, please. They had some good dialogue which ended in Eugene actually trying to sing a Lindsey Lohan song he was listening to on his CD player! Regal shows up and warns Eugene about a one-on-one match with Christian coming up next. Christy offers to motivate Eugene, and Regal allows her to, but with ulterior motives. He takes Eugene's CD player and starts dancing and singing to that very same song! Christy and Eugene catch him in the act, and in a clear show of shame, the Born Naughty Ambassador drops the player, clears his throat, and says let's go. Christy gives Eugene the player and wishes him a good match as he leaves.

When the match happens, we see plenty of illegal teamwork between Tomko and Christian, and some impatience from Regal not being able to keep his nose in his own business. In the end, though, Christian won in very much the same way as Edge did earlier tonight, and William Regal has a bloody nose from a Big Boot by the Problem Solver. We go to Evolution again. Flair confides in Evolution's ability to back up Triple H, but the Game says that Batista will stay back, because he's only facing one man tonight, and he's going to need Batista when he faces four other men in that Elimination Chamber. Flair left the screen to do some of his own business, and Batista says he already told Flair that he wasn't going to be needed at Trips' back in this match, and that he'll agree to sit back and not get involved in the match… unless Orton really starts kicking his ass. Now, Trips doesn't like it, and he turns around. But at that point, Batista says that they know that's not gonna happen and tells him to lighten up!

During that main event matchup, there was a lot of interference coming from the behalf of a certain team I know called Evolution. Until the final piece, however, it was all Ric Flair, as Batista did hang in the back. The breaking point in this contest came when Trips broke out of a submission move in a way that sent Orton's head straight into the referee's, knocking him down. Now, Flair brought Trips the ring bell to finish Orton with. Orton hit Trips with a low blow or kick in the midsection to buy some time and cause the Cerebral Assassin to drop the bell, and that's when Randy picked it up and whacked the Game with it himself! This was followed by an insane chain of events which shall be described here;

Batista shows up and gives Orton the Decapitation clothesline. Benoit appears and attacks Batista, leading to a brawl on the outside between the two men who kicked off Raw 2005. Shawn Michaels comes out in his referee's outfit with intent to restore order to the situation. As he's trying to talk some sense into Benoit and Batista, Edge shows up, stalking away to spear Shawn's ribs in half. He can't even do it, cause Jericho intercepts it, sending Edge rolling to the outside, and then flies over the ropes to attack Benoit and Batista. The hectic situation on the outside being deemed "solved", Michaels turns his attention towards the floored Orton and Triple H, beginning a count. As they get up, Trips looks like he saw a ghost, then begins arguing with the Heart Break Kid. The moment he turns around, Orton tries the RKO, but Trips shoves it away. Then, he goes for the Pedigree, and it gets countered into a kind of Northern Lights suplex pin. Trips kicks out, but ends up getting an RKO. And then, he can't kick out. Orton reigns supreme on the Raw leading up to New Year's Revolution. However, we still need to see backstage reactions here. Plus, we have only seen appetizers with which advantages are given and taken. We have not yet reached New Year's Revolution. It is six days away. At that point, everything counts. Who will be the Champions of WWE Raw when the smoke clears at the Coliseo de Puerto Rico in San Juan on January 9th, 2005?

All of the WWE Raw Superstars are stoked for New Year's Revolution. The scene around backstage is mainly a positive one. Shelton Benjamin and Maven enjoyed competitive banter at a table, Eugene enjoyed a conversation with Christy Hemme, William Regal met up with Chris Benoit to talk about championships, Shawn Michaels was accepting a phone call from his best friend, one of TNA's Kings of Wrestling (Kevin Nash), Randy Orton and Stacy Keibler discussed relationships (since he wasn't in a mood to talk about titles), Chris Jericho and Matt Hardy enjoyed some laughs, and I don't know which conversation to access first. Oh, wait… I do. How 'bout Randy and Stacy.

"How are things with you and Candace? I heard you broke off the pairing," Stacy said to him.

"Kinda felt we were going too quick, but yeah, we're okay," Randy shrugged it off. "Besides, what's up with you and JH?"

"Who?" Stacy asked.

"Jeff Hardy," Randy answered. "He showed up around here, and you two started talking, I think."

"Oh, yeah," Stacy remembered. "He's nice. He tells me that Dusty Rhodes has plans for him at that TNA event, Final Resolution. But I haven't seen him talk to Lita, though."

"Ohh, now that's a travesty. They're supposed to be friends, right?" Randy mentioned.

"Yeah. That's kind of been bothering me a little bit, you know?" Stacy said.

"HEY!" the chat is suddenly interrupted. Enter Hassan and Daivari.

"Well, if it isn't the next non-criminal to enter America's most wanted list and his equally wanted cohort," Randy spoke.

"Shut up! Don't talk to me about this country! You are one of those people who would befriend me if I were crying, and then when you got an opportunity for advancement, you'd betray me on the spot over my color and my race!" Hassan rashly accused Orton. Stacy was uphauled.

"Gentlemen, hold on one second," she cut in. "First of all, Muhammad, I don't think we were finished talking here. Second of all, I don't agree with you making your evil judgments on everyone in this country, especially when there's somebody standing right here who can perfectly understand what you're going through."

"Oh, and who is that?" Hassan challenged her to tell.

"Randy has been betrayed be-"

"You have no right to be disrespecting us with your nonsense about petty betrayal!" Daivari rudely interrupted Stacy. "You're talking about Triple H, the only friend we can have in America! This idiot took the one thing Triple H desires more than life itself! He was out for himself! He did not care about Triple H! You heard him boasting his own era like a pig on August 16th! Of course he would be released from Evolution! I have seen much worse than this! Muhammad's friends, mine alike, have turned against us, said ugly thing about us, made everybody pick on us on the street us after 9/11, because they say we look like bin Laden people! That's real betrayal for you to think about! We were applying for jobs, and then 9/11 came up, and people showed their true colors against Arab America! The employers immediately ripped up our applications and said we were too suspicious to them!"

"All right, all right! Shut up, already! I think we both heard you well enough! God!" Randy immediately stormed.

"You talk about a God?" Muhammad questioned the Legend Champion. "What God do you speak of? I accepted American Christian culture, and introduced others to mine as well! Daivari and I had many friends who at least pretended to accept our culture, though they embraced their own. And then, 9/11 came about, and when they betrayed us, they said our lord is a terrorist commander, that we call bin Laden our equivalent of your Jesus!"

"Hey, when did your religious beliefs ever come up here? I respected you enough to stay out of your business, and you barge into mine with all this crap coming out of your mouth!" Orton yelled.

"That's it!" Hassan apparently has had enough talking for one day. He suddenly uses his shoulder to take Orton into a wall, and starts punching away at him. However, the Legend Champion answers back with fists of his own, and rams Hassan into a wall. He then turns towards Daivari, who proceeds to forcibly caress Stacy and use her as a shield.

"You can hit him over me! Don't worry about it!" Stacy said. Randy then attempted to, but Daivari lifted Stacy over Randy's range, so he didn't do it. However, he stomped Daivari's shiny shoe, causing him to writhe in pain and drop Stacy. Randy helped her up and encouraged her to speed past the ailing Daivari and out of the area.

"What are you doing, Daivari? Get her!" Hassan shouted.

"My foot is too hurt! I can't run to her!" Daivari said.

"Do I have to do everything myself?" Hassan asked, trying to run to get Stacy. But, he gets roadblocked by the Man of Destiny.

"You're not goin' anywhere to capture Stace, brother," Randy said in a Hulk Hogan-like heroic seriousness.

"Fine. I've made enough of an impact for one Raw," Hassan decided. He and Daivari, who just put his ailing foot down, left.

Onto Hardy and Jericho.

"Can you believe it?" Chris asked Matt. "Triple H has no freaking clue."

"Yeah, I'd hate to think of the look on his face after he wakes up from a Decapitation," Matt spoke. "But, do you remember that guy who Edge beat for the Intercontinental Title when he lost it in one day?"

"Oh, you're talking about that cat, Jeff Jarrett? See, here's what bothers me about this guy," Jericho responded. "He's been the Heavyweight Champion over at TNA for ages now, and he still hasn't proven he can win without either that guitar or anybody kissing his ass. He's just like Triple H."

"Hey, speaking of him being just like Triple H, he's also in the same straits. Just like Triple H, and only a week after, his World Heavyweight Title could be on the line, it could come down to him and one of his lackeys," Matt pointed out to the man who prides himself on being the first ever Undisputed Champion.

"Yeah. I know Kev a little bit, considering that he and I wrestled in Elimination Chamber Match #2," Jericho said. "And even with the fact that he and Shawn Michaels are best friends, they still went at it for themselves in that match. Just because he's kind of a lackey in a way for Jarrett doesn't mean he doesn't have the old Big Daddy Cool in him. I can just tell. Hey, speaking of Jeffs, what happened to your bro?"

"Strict work on the TNA road. Had no time to reach us lately," Matt bluntly explained. "Hey, Chris?"

"What?"

"I want to go talk to Lita. I mean, what Snitsky did was terrorist attack scary and unforgivable, at least when you look at it for the first time. If my knee were 100, I would've probably been the one who whooped his ass, and he would've been shown the meaning of the words, 'Do not try to defy Mattitude'."

"You know what, man? You're right. Come on, let's go find Lita. If I'm right, I bet Edge and Kane are right there by her side already, and I'd hate for you to be the man who cops out of concern for her just because of those two, you know?"

"Let's go."

Speaking of Lita, she is in her locker room. As the King of the World predicted, Edge and Kane are with her.

"Now, you're sure you're gonna be okay going outside on your own?" Edge asked Lita.

"Yeah. I'm gonna be okay. And if Snitsky comes after me, I know where to go," Lita assured him.

"Good, cause I don't want to suddenly find out that you've been kidnapped by that psycho head," Edge commented. "Especially since this guy (points to Kane) is about to come as close to killing him as you can possibly do in a ring. Right?"

"Snitsky is a dead man," Lita and Kane said simultaneously.

"What the hell was that?" Edge asked the married couple, confusing them. "What the hell was that? Lita, you said Kane's part with him. That's not the way it's supposed to go. I like it better when we say the whole phrase right. Our own parts, by our own selves, in the right order. You know?"

"Yeah, but I was really feeling that heat from how much we all hate Snitsky," Lita said.

"Well, then. Let's do the whole thing, shall we?" Kane offered. Edge smirked, and Lita nodded.

"At New Year's Revolution, Snitsky is a dead man," Kane started it.

"I will remain Women's Champion past Trish Stratus," Lita continued it.

"And that World Heavyweight Title is mine!" Edge enthusiastically finished it.

"You know, that actually sounds good," Matt said from behind the door. "I hope you all carry it out. Can I come in?"

"Sure, I guess," Lita said. Kane gave her a slight gaze, knowing exactly who she was inviting into the room. Edge opened the door for Matt to enter.

"Kane," Matt recognized him. "I know that at this point in time, we're not exactly the best of friends, but thanks for coming back just in time to save Lita."

"So, are all charges of physical abuse dropped?" Kane asked the Sensei of Mattitude.

"Not all charges. Just those that Lita wants dropped," Matt answered.

"Okay, then. That _is_ all of them," Lita contrasted her ex-boyfriend's statement.

"By the way, Lita, are you okay? I mean, you did take a Chick Kick and get taken through a serious fright train," Matt mentioned.

"Hey, don't pull it up in her face!" Edge objected to the open mention of the incident.

"Edge, it's okay. I told you I'm good to go," Lita calmed him down. "Besides, I'm willing to bet he still has leftover feelings from our old relationship. He wouldn't hurt me."

"Ironic thinking on my mind here. I got a wedding present from Eric Bischoff the night after SummerSlam, in the opportunity to win your Intercontinental Title, Edge. And because of his love for Lita, Matt Hardy here had enough contempt towards me to defy the dead knee for one time to help you beat me," Kane mentioned. "And now, once again, because of Lita, it's the same three of us that are standing by her side in this place." Suddenly, in barged Trish Stratus.

"Well, happy memories. Kane, aren't you supposed to be a monster? Stick to the act, man, you ruined my chance! Matt, I'm surprised you're standing alongside Lita anymore, much less as one of three men. I mean, you two did break up from what I hear, right? Edge, I thought you had more sense than to continue hanging around the Walking Kiss of Death."

"Hey, Stratus! What the hell did you come here for, to start chaos? Cause I've got a chaos Spear headed your way right now!" Edge threatened her, starting a chase. Trish led Edge all the way to the parking lot, where Tyson Tomko and Christian, your potential next Tag Team Champions, were.

"Christian, baby, help me! Edgie wants to give me a Spear!" Trish whined, hugging onto him like he was her life.

"Trish, get the hell off me!" Christian ordered her. Edge was completely befuddled, as were Trish and Tyson.

"What was that?" Trish said, letting go and realizing that he probably wasn't in any mood to help her.

"What you showed me today terribly upset me," Christian said. "You're supposed to be my beautiful angelic flower, my loyalest Peep in North America and the United Nations. And I always knew that underneath that flower was a fierce competitor. But tonight, you showed me something, Trish. You've shown me that you have changed. Look at you! Lita's neck was chaired by Snitsky, and all he needed to do was stomp the chair to make her bleed more than anyone has ever bled in WWE history, and perhaps die from it! And all you did was continue to talk trash! If it wasn't for Kane, you would have shown me either an extreme guilt trip or a cold heart that couldn't possibly love me even if it tried like life itself depended on it! You know, I think about old days, back when Bischoff had a major ego, and was making ridiculous matches such as forcing you to face Kane. Back then, I considered that a nightmare, him a monster. And now, I'm probably pissed at you enough to call that match a prize for the Raw audience! Because you've become the monster, Trish. And right now, I don't think I want you."

Christian took his rental car, Tyson in the other front seat, and left the building without Trish.

"So it's like that, huh?" Trish shouted towards Captain Charisma and the Problem Solver. She soon, turned towards the Arch of Awesomeness. "Christian and Tomko may have just bailed out on me, but I still have me, myself, and I. And you'd better know that's enough for me to regain the Women's Championship. And tell your new girlfriend the Walking Kiss of Death that I said that."

"Bad idea. You know me well enough, Trish, to trust that I won't be able to keep from mentioning the falling out between you and your faithful captain," Edge warned her.

"I don't care, just leave me alone!" Trish screamed.

"Not gonna happen, little baby princess," Jericho suddenly spoke from behind Edge. He had been standing outside Lita's door all along, from start (when Matt came into Lita's locker room) to finish (when Edge chased Trish to the parking lot and the Peep Man)

"Hey, Jericho, Edge. You guys run back to Lita and start fighting each other. I'm the one who's gonna take care of Trish here, because I can," Triple H said, suddenly appearing at Trish's side. Ric Flair and Batista were right there as well.

"The World Heavyweight Jackass is in the house!" Jericho celebratively yelled, obviously sarcastic. "Whose day are you gonna make a living hell now?"

"Jericho, shut up! That did not sound awesome, not one bit!" Edge burst, making it clear that it wasn't funny. "Now, back to Triple H. First of all, you can't order me to do anything, because you're not my lackey master. Second of all, that means I'm not gonna be helping you take _my_ World Heavyweight Championship. Thirdly, what's going on with the life of Lita is none of the business of the likes of you!"

"Yeah, you're right. Triple H is a respectable gentleman. He will pick up the mood of a girl that's down in the dumps with a lot of hate from the fans, and with enough respect not to become a rapist," Trish said. "On the other hand, Lita is the biggest crash and slut that's ever wrestled in the middle of that WWE ring. I mean, look at her. She finished the Hardy Boyz' tag team for good as soon as she took Matt Hardy's heart! Matt just injured himself because of her, and Jeff, what's he doing? Wrestling at Total Nonstop Action, a new enemy company WWE has to watch out for, and coming here every once in a while to flirt with Stacy Keibler, equally a ho. Lita, in 2004, has slept around enough to have two potential fathers to her son, and it was the man she claimed to hate more than life itself, and eventually, she was forced to marry the monster who burned The Undertaker alive before. And all of a sudden, she develops some feeling other than hatred for Kane, and a man costs her the child, costs the Big Red Machine ten weeks here, and tonight, could have skinned her neck."

"Yeah, Lita is a… major slut, isn't she?" Trips asked Ric.

"I tried talking to her and all those North Carolina boyfriends of her, and none of them have ever listened to a word I've said. They missed out on some important life and wrestling information! And look what Lita has become! Whoo!" Flair said.

"Trish, I think I know why Christian's leaving," Edge said to her.

"Christian is not leaving. Did you hear me? Captain Charisma is not leaving me!" Trish yelled.

"You idiot, Trish, you. Have you zero sense? You worked with Gene Snitsky to kill Lita! Even a man of shady proposals like Christian would have to know better than to stay in love with you," Chris Jericho reinserted himself within the conversation. "And you, Ric Flair, and Triple H. All three of you have shown zero respect for anyone here, especially Lita, and when you consider the year she's had, it was awful for her, and you don't even show anything but a crappy attitude regarding the Queen of Extreme? Really, who the hell do you people think you are? That's why I'm going to win the World Heavyweight Championship! Because I am not pathetic like you three, and Edge, I don't have to cheat like you!" With that, he left. Batista was just a nonfactor in this. He stood cool.

"Although Jericho and I aren't exactly comrades these days," Edge said, "I think I should show you what you did to him about ten months ago." And with that, he slapped her, and walked away. Trish Stratus at least looked like she was about to cry. Triple H wanted to catch either Edge or Jericho and destroy whichever one so badly. Ric Flair and Batista restrained the Game. Jericho turned back to them to say something which would infuriate the rivers and the fires even more.

"Oh, and you know one more thing? Evolution Sucks!"


	5. Evil Edgeheads

Disclaimer: This is unassociated with any of my other stories, and I do not own any of the members of this story. I simply write this story due to my interest in Raw, especially with the Superstars involved crucially in my dialogue.

Pairings: Some Edge/Lita and/or Kane/Lita references, some other pairing that'll come up in the future, and when I can get JH to show up, a special pair I should have been working at Intergender Survivor Series.

Rating Info: This story is rated PG-13.

**_The Stones of Raw_** by **Prime Time, Legend Champion**

Chapter 5: Evil Edgeheads

Following 1/10/05 episode of Raw

Office Depot Center in Fort Lauderdale, FL

New Year's Revolution saw a major event within the scales of Raw. The happenings of the Pay-Per-View are as follows, none being in order other than the first, second, and final events:

Eugene and William Regal defeated Tyson Tomko and Christian to keep the World Tag Team Championships. After the match, Eugene ended up injured, and Edge approached Christian backstage about becoming the World Heavyweight Champion.

When landing awkwardly after performing a Thesz Press in her WWE Women's Championship defense against Trish Stratus, Lita suffered a torn ACL in her left knee, causing her to handily lose the title and costing her the next few months of her career.

Shelton Benjamin defended the WWE Intercontinental Championship against Maven _twice_. Maven lost the first match by getting far too involved in trash talking with the Puerto Rican fans, then compared Benjamin to Trish in order to punk him out into an immediate rematch. However, no sooner was it than the moment Benjamin pinned Maven again with a T-Bone Suplex.

Kane defeated Gene Snitsky by covering him after hitting a Tombstone Piledriver, the patented maneuver of his brother, The Undertaker. Ten months ago, Kane himself had suffered that move at the hands of Taker at WrestleMania.

Muhammad Hassan pinned Jerry Lawler after firing a facebuster maneuver of his against him. Daivari got involved in the match.

Before the Elimination Chamber, Edge had offered that Eric Bischoff give him a match against the winner of the Chamber affair for the World Heavyweight Championship, and that Christian take Edge's place in this the original match, since he felt Shawn Michaels' presence would cost him the Championship. Bischoff did not do as requested, and Edge wound up taking Sweet Chin Music, which got him eliminated first, within the Chamber's confines. Triple H became the World Heavyweight Champion by pinning Randy Orton after a Pedigree as the last out.

To begin Raw, the new World Heavyweight Champion came out to his music with his closest associate, Ric Flair, and let it run for a long time, savoring the moment of greatness for himself. He then proceeded to make a major victory speech in which he basically said that the fans haterated on him all the time, and they can kiss his ass, because he is the World Heavyweight Champion for the tenth time. The Nature Boy demanded the fans show the Game respect, but Trips said to hell with them. He did go on to finish by introducing Batista as the dominant man in Evolution, and a man who Trips is proud to call friend. The Leviathan showed up, all three members of Evolution in awesome suits, and exchanged positive contact with both the Nature Boy and the Cerebral Assassin. However, before a word in edgewise could come, out came Randy Orton, in an equally rich suit, and to much more admiration, doing several things. a) He demanded a rematch against Triple H for the World Title. b) He showed pieces of footage that showed that although Batista had Trips' back at the Elimination Chamber, things were not so much the other way around. The second part of the footage deleted the ability of the Game to excuse the first. Trust issues were already left unfunded in Evolution. c) His intervention resulted in Eric Bischoff coming out, yet another suit in hand, to declare a #1 Contender's match between Batista and Orton.

A piece of footage came up about a future live Raw event in Tokyo, Japan. Shelton Benjamin then defeated Maven in a Royal Rumble qualifying match.

The next scene saw Muhammad Hassan and Daivari come out for a match between Hassan and The Hurricane. As they were coming out, Jim Ross claimed that they represented their own political agenda, not true Arab Americans. Hassan said that his historic victory against Jerry Lawler last night at New Year's Revolution was a blow to the racist media, but that his personal revolution to beat sense into America had only just begun. Hurricane's music came up, sending more glee into the voices of Raw than it ever did before. Daivari cheated in a part of the match, which ended early with a facebuster of Hassan's to Hurricane, the same one he delivered to Lawler last night. Notes were exchanged between the Arabian Psychos and the voices of Raw.

Batista was shown in the back, thinking, when Trips came into the Evolution room. They stared one another face to face, and Trips said that despite the crap Randy Orton was putting in Batista's head, the Game wanted Batista to know that he had his full support against Randy Orton, and then that he considered it a great honor if the two could fight for the Title, and that Batista deserved it. The Capital Destroyer said that all people eventually get what they deserve, and left the locker room. Trips stared at him.

Edge faced his old friend Rhyno in a Royal Rumble qualifying match next. Edge quickly attacked Rhyno to begin the match, but the strength of the Man Beast gave him the real early advantage in the bout. However, Edge picked up the intensity to retake an advantage. Basically, it went from place to place in the middle of this bout. Rhyno had an opportunity to go for a Gore, but Edge gave him a big boot to counter. The very angry Arch of Awesomeness then went on to win the match with a Spear and Edgecator. Edge took the mic and complained about Shawn Michaels screwing him out of the World Heavyweight Championship via Sweet Chin Music. He then proceeded to hold up the show by not leaving the ring until the Showstopper himself shows up. We went to commercial break. When we returned, Edge said that Michaels had to show up when he was having his TV time because he was the most selfish man in this industry, and proceeded to go through his history up from Taboo Tuesday to Revolution, making the claim that Michaels constantly screwed him out of the World Title. Michaels came out, as Edge demanded, and claimed that Sparks Mineral was complaining too much about everything and needed to look to the future. He said that Edge needs to win the Royal Rumble, and then go on to become the World Champion at WrestleMania, rather than complaining and saying that the Heartbreak Kid screwed him day after day after day like he did. (though it may not have gone that far) Edge realized that he does need to slap some sense into himself, but liked "this idea" better and proceeded to slap Shawn Michaels and start an all-out restriction-needy brawl. Most would agree that Shawn had the upper hand when it was all said and done.

But, it wasn't all said and done just yet. The fight escalated into a commercial break and return, as Edge and Michaels were bashing each other and the entire place apart. It wasn't done by the time Simon Dean decided to come out to promote his Simon System and disrespect the people once again. He mentioned the things Florida was known for, but disgracefully included the mention of seriously fat and ugly people. He said that beaches are filled with Floridians with such terrible physiques they might as well be beach whales. He offered a sample of a fat burner pill from his patented weight loss system and said it was coming to a freak with over 300 pounds and a mask. He thought it was Rosey, but out came Kane, a plus-300 pounder who used to wear a mask. They shared pills, and Kane beat the living tar out of Simon, then proceeding to take his heavyweight belt. Simon hit Kane to make him let go, and the Seven Foot Monster toyed around with a Chokeslam from Hell. Snitsky then came up from behind with a steel chair and continued with the weight belt an assault which reaggravated an earlier time-crushing internal injury that Kane had suffered at the hands of the Genetic Evilness at Taboo Tuesday. So now, Lita - who had suffered a knee injury in her Women's Title defense against Trish Stratus whch led to the Queen of Stratusfaction getting an easy victory - and her husband were both out for a long while. This probably made Edge, the Arch of Awesomeness, very uncomfortable.

Now, Trips was in the Evolution room, and Ric Flair came to him in order to speak that Batista was leaning more towards Orton, and that he truly was needed in Evolution. The two had to motivate the Leviathan to combat the Legend Killer for him. Triple H came up with the negative reinforcement plan, which basically spoke that Batista would get motivated with the thought of his record against Randy Orton not being so good. Flair was skeptical about the plan. He needed the Game to tell him he was positive… not once, not _twice_, but **thrice**!

Then came a tag team match, featuring the former heated rivals who later found mutual respect for one another and went on to compose a championship tag team - Chris Jericho and Chris Benoit - against Tyson Tomko and Christian. During Christian's entrance, we heard the words "opportunistic" and "smart" to describe Christian and Tomko's challenging for this match, with the mention that Benoit and Jericho were battered, bruised, and walking wounded coming into the match due to the Elimination Chamber. The match was competitive enough to make that an obvious fact, many people knowing that rather than just an ordinary great tag team, Benoit and Jericho were a couple of World Heavyweight Title contenders who know each other very well, and that anybody, including Tomko and Christian, could be beaten easily by them. However, the warriors named Chris managed to make Tomko and Christian tap out to their submission maneuvers at the same time for the win.

Ric Flair returned to the Evolution room with a bad report, claiming that it did not go well. Batista is in a bad mood, almost tore the Nature Boy's head off, came damn well near powerbombing him through a cement wall, and actually questions whether Evolution is really behind him tonight. Trips, tired of the wedge of disagreement drawn between the supreme dream team of Evolution, decides that he is going to prove that he supports Batista. Smackdown Rebound showed Kane's brother, The Undertaker, dealing a huge blow into Smackdown's derangement master, Heidenreich, by Tombstoning Paul Heyman into a casket.

Lita will be out of action for several months because of the hyperextended left knee, but we certainly can enjoy a hot match and get a better moment. Candace is doing whatever you call officiating for a lingerie pillow fight between Maria and Christy. As playful retaliation for Maria's pillow-spiking spunk, Lilian Garcia inserts herself into the match big time, eventually causing Christy to get a victory roll over Maria. After the match, even Candace got splacked with a pillow from Christy, and the three newer attractions jump on the match bed and parade around the ring together. But the hotness was quickly shot down. Batista and Randy Orton were shown making their way to the ring. Who will win the right to face Hunter Hearst Helmsley World Heavyweight Championship? The Evolutionary Animal, David Batista? Or the Legend Killer, Randall Keith Orton?

Triple H's music shone on again. He and Flair came out again. But this mood was not even half as celebrative as the previous one. They got chairs at ringside, with the obvious plan to watch - and probably personally rig - the match which would determine whether The Game defends his World Title against his and the Nature Boy's current young Evolution cohort, or the former future of their golden unit. Every moment Batista showed off as he came out or made an effective move during the match, Triple H and Ric Flair showed some sign of support. When Batista was sent staggering to the outside before the commercial break in the match, Trips and Nache came over to the Leviathan to show concern. Batista's elder teammates never sat down until after the break.

At the end of the match, Flair tried to distract the referee, while Triple H worked to give Batista a steel chair. The Big Dave did not accept the presence of the black chair, and Orton eventually pushed Batista right into the chair. The collision also blasted Triple H off the apron and gave Orton a rollup to win the match. The Legend Champion celebrated at the ramp while Batista initially threatened to issue the Game a shot of that steel chair, but after a little bit of pleading, Batista looked back and forth with much contempt.

"What a freaking disaster!" Edge complained to Matt Hardy.

"What are you talking about?" Matt asked the Arch of Awesomeness.

"Hey, shut up. I'm talking here. Yesterday was the most terrible night of all time!" Edge continued his whining.

"That gives you no right to just order me to shut up! I'm trying to find out what the hell you're-"

"What the hell I'm complaining about, right? Let me go through the laundry list! 1: Tyson and Christian get tricked out of the Tag Team Titles by Eugene. Eugene! Do you know what he is? A retard! A retard tricked Tyson and Christian out of the Titles! 2: Lita tears her ACL with that idiotic Thesz press move, so she can't even be here anymore, and it left that monster slut **TRISH STRATUS** TO REGAIN THE WOMEN'S TITLE! 3: Eric Bischoff will not even take my word when I ask him to replace me in the Elimination Chamber with Christian, despite my mentioning of the fact that Shawn Michaels will cost me the World Championship! That decision would have gotten me a title shot tonight, so I'd at least have a legitimate chance to win! 4: Kane couldn't even beat Gene Snitsky without using that hypocritous piece of crap Tombstone Piledriver! That's the move Undertaker crucified him with at WrestleMania 20! And last, but most certainly not least, 5: just like I predicted, that selfish man, that Heartburn Kid, **Shawn Michaels**, does EXACTLY as I predicted and _COSTS ME THE WORLD CHAMPIONSHIP AGAIN!_"

By now, Edge was perspiring with anger.

"Hey, Edge. Calm down, man. Just because you're not the Heavyweight Champion of the World doesn't mean Shawn Michaels got his way. I know he was hoping that either Chris Benoit or Randy Orton won the Elimination Chamber match, or that Batista betrayed me in the middle of it. And all of that didn't happen, now did it? Even though you got screwed out of the title, the owner does deserve it, man. And it's me." Triple H suddenly appeared to soothe Edge into his own confidence.

"Hey, Triple H! After Rhyno and Shawn Michaels, I'm still looking for someone to take out my aggression on! I'm not willing to attack any of my friends, but you most certainly don't qualify as that or as a Diva! So, I have no objection to the concept of taking everything out on you!"

"As much as I don't like Triple H, Edge, and as much as I don't like you," Shawn Michaels suddenly came up, "I have a small bit of advice. Calm down and take it out on him when its time. At WrestleMania 21, when you really start kickin' ass, takin' names, and becoming the World's Champion."

"Michaels, shut up! As far as I'm concerned, you two should, not can, but **_should_** kiss and make up, and then go on to kiss my ass! How do you like them apples?" Edge yelled, leaving the area in an angry storm. Michaels and Trips' moods were darkened as well.

"What the hell just happened here?" Christian came up and asked out of curiosity. The former Degeneration X friends ordered him to shut up and get the hell out of here before he got hurt.

"Sheesh, DX. When did you get that pissed?"

"Out!"

Christian left. Trish was concerned. Apparently not for Captain Charisma, but for the Game.

"Hey, Triple H. What's going on? Why are you frowning there with Shawn Michaels and yelling at Christian?" Trish asked him.

"You must break off your backstage relationship with Christian," Trips told her suddenly. "He already believes you're a monster. Plus, he and his lifelong partner Edge are disrespectful to the greatness of the Game. Edge told me and Shawn Michaels to kiss and make up, and then to kiss his ass. And Christian called us DX!"

"What? I mean, that's absolutely obnoxious! I knew something was wrong when Christian didn't kiss me in front of the Raw audience anymore after he came back, but I think it's become intolerable." With that, she went into the halls where Christian was walking, and said something that is seemingly… a little creepy.

"Hey, Christian! We're through! I don't want you anymore!"

The Peep Man's response:

"Fine! I don't either, anyway, Demon Angel Stratus!"

The Royal Cloud Babe's retaliation:

"You're gonna pay for calling me a demon!"

Meanwhile, Chris Jericho is enjoying a conversation with Chris Benoit.

"I can't believe this, man. Christian and Tomko, how much nerve can a tag team have?" Jericho asked Benoit, who simply shook his head thinking about them. "First, they injure Eugene in that tag team match, and we don't even know what the hell's gonna happen with the tag team titles. And now, they see that we're injured from the chamber match, and this is the only situation in which Christian could ever beat me again. So, what do they do? They challenge us in a tag match, and we teach them a lesson."

"Yeah, I know. There's people like that in this world. Christian's best friend isn't exactly the greatest honest abe of all time himself," Benoit said, that comment referring to the egotistically angered Edge.

"Trust me, man. I know all about it. Edge and Christian both turned their backs on me in the past," Jericho recalled out loud.

"The man was real busy wishing me luck because I'm a Canadian, back when he and Regal were among those idiots who had a grudge against America. And now, all of a sudden, every man in the US who booed him then and still booes him now is all of a sudden his peep. What the hell is up with this guy?"

"Yeah, but there's another update. A really cool update, CB," Jericho said. "Oh, by the way, speaking of the UnAmericans, look what's happened to them; Regal and Christian are enemies, Storm's retired and training little kids, Test was cut outta here with a neck injury, the first guy to actually get released in that situation since I've been here. And that means he sucks! Anyway, the really cool update; I think Evolution was single-handedly killed by RKO."

"Yeah. Every piece of action that Randy Orton did was a contributor to what we foresee as the end of Evolution. And I don't know _how_ Ric Flair and Triple H couldn't make that into a lie. I guess their loyalty to him isn't as strong as his initial loyalty to them," Benoit stated.

"And even knowing the kiss-ass that Batista is, that doesn't say much for the Game," Jericho followed up.

"Batista is leaving Evolution. I know it," Randy Orton all of a sudden appeared.

"We know it too, man. Congratulations. You've finally broken up the lackey from his masters," Jericho said, congratulating the Legend Champion on the inevitable conclusion of what he just started.

"Of course, man. Batista and I, we were best friends. I know he has that killer instinct in him. I personally know that he's not gonna be living under somebody's very thin juevos for his entire career. D-Von and Evolution were serious detention for him. But it's about to be all over, man. I'm gonna beat Triple H for the World's Title, and Batista's gonna leave and destroy the name Evolution. Thus beginning the end of Ric Flair's shady business, but ultimately, the end for Triple H; the times in which I take everything away from him!" Orton declared. "He doesn't deserve that World Title, those great suits, those limo rides, those women, those faithful lackeys, or anything else of enviable value he's got!"

"Oh, excuse me?" Trish suddenly interfered.

"Well, look who it is. The Monster Slut herself, Trishieneck Frankenstratus. I heard Captain Charisma dumped you like a trash can object," Randy said.

"Yeah, thanks, Randy. I knew you'd be considerate," Trish sarcastized. She quickly proceeded to get serious. "But look here. You don't honestly expect me to believe that Triple H is going to lose everything just because you decide to try breaking up Evolution. Do you?"

"I don't care about you, Trish. **_I_** believe that," Randy boldly declared to the beautiful (though not exactly favorable) blonde. "And that's all that matters."

"Evolution is much stronger than you. Let me personally warn you, kid. If you truly think you're about to get away with destroying my friends - Triple H and the rest of Evolution, by the way - then you are out of your mind, Randy. Look at me," Trish attempted to affect his psyche. "The beautiful woman knows all, especially when scorned. And I perfectly know that if you idiots (remembering Benoit and Jericho are in the area), or Edge, or Christian, or anyone try to get in the way of Evolution, that you're taking a one-way trip to the hospitals." With that, she walked away. We go somewhere else.

We have Kane, Viscera, and Gangrel sitting inside the boiler room.

"Lita's gone, man. At least for a while. I don't know when she's coming back, but I'm sure we're all gonna miss her," Gangrel started the conversation.

"It's pathetic, people. Viscera, Gangrel, do you hear me? This is pathetic!" Kane complained. "Right when I begin to speak to the man who Lita is beginning to take interest to, we both have to suffer the fate of not being able to see her with us here. I could look at Edge, and I know that Edge loved her. Somewhere, deep down inside, he had something for her. I was perfectly willing to be his friend, and last week, I felt that it was true. But he can't even realize it for himself well enough to disclose it to anyone else, when all of a sudden, that idiot ACL had to tear up on her, and we're all worried sick! Edge, myself, her ex-boyfriend Matt, and even Jeff Hardy has called me about it!"

"It's pathetic, man. Li, she was evil. She was evil like us, like your bro," Viscera explained to the Big Red Machine.

"Don't bring up The Undertaker!" Kane immediately spouted.

"Sorry, man. It's just we used to be in his Ministry, and you two are more alike than even us. And she's basically one of the band these days," Viscera mentioned. "I hate to see a good romance, or a warrior with beauty, take that bad a bump in the road. And that's exactly what the hell just happened."

"I can't even talk to you about how much she was like family to me. When you married her, and introduced her to us, it was glorious. It was as if all she had to do was overcome hate and fear, and she wasn't just property, or the mom of a kid. She's one of us, man. It's sad to see her hurt like that. But don't forget, Kane. She's living. We can still visit her, and talk to her, and help her out in the process until she gets better," Gangrel pointed out. "I just don't know what to say about Edge. I mean, when I heard they started talking, I knew more than anyone what was going on. I've been around both Lita and Edge, and it's a kinetic match if Edge can stop complaining about everything like a piece of crap these days."

"NOOOOOO!" a very familiar voice was heard screaming on the outside.

"That sounds like-"

"Edge!" Kane interrupted the Mohawk Knight.

"Leave me the hell alone!" his voice blared from the other side of the door again.

Meanwhile, Shelton Benjamin saw Edge looking pathetic and offered to help him.

"Edge, man. Don't embarrass yourself here. I've got an idea. Maybe you should pretend you've just won the Intercontinental Championship, and a shot at the World Title. Just pretend for about a minute. It'll help ya," Shelton suggested to the Arch of Awesomeness.

"Shut up, Benjamin!" Edge ordered him, jolting to his feet. "Pretending to be the Intercontinental Champion? Is that your best idea on what I could do to heal? First of all, none of my friends have a Championship. Second of all, Lita is at a hospital over a torn ACL! She's gonna be gone for months! And, Michaels screwed me out of the World Title! Don't forget that!"

"Sheesh, man. I'm only trying to help you out here."

"We've lost the Queen of Extreme, and without a title to show for how much we bust our asses off for this business! Listen, Shelton. A lot of people can tell you that three things that mean the most to me are the success of my non-opposing friends, Lita, and the World Heavyweight Championship. And _nothing is working for me here, kid_! NOTHING! And you with that multi-European belt, it's partly your fault, so don't tell me I don't know what the hell I'm talking about!"

"The belt doesn't say 'multi-European'. It says, 'Intercontinental Champion, Shelton Benjamin'," Shelton interrupts Edge's most recent rantations. The two went into a small fist fight in which Edge took an advantage and attempted to irishwhip Benjamin into the wall. Shelton countered, but Edge bent his left leg and stetched his arms backward so as not to feel impact. As Benjamin walk up to him, the Arch of Awesomeness was able to issue the Spear.

"Take that, you punk!" Edge yelled in the downed Benjamin's face, leaving the area. Kane opened the door as Edge left, and look out. What he saw was an angry man walking to the parking lot.

At the parking lot, Edge sat down on a car near Christian, who was discussing something with Tomko.

"I can't believe it. What the hell is wrong with her, anyway?" Christian questioneded the Problem Solver. This was obviously about Trish.

"I have no idea, man. But seriously, think about it. Do you want her?" Tyson asked Christian.

"Excuse me? Do I want her? What kind of a question is that? You damn near know theoh, wait. I do want her. But let me finish. I do want her to get her head straight and get back to being the Trish I knew, the Trish that pulled that ultimate prank all over Jericho, the Trish that liked having fun by joking with others, even if the jokes themselves made their receivers miserable. Not this hell diva that talks trash to somebody as they're about to get killed, and then goes on to undermine me and kiss Evolution's ass, each of the latter happening more and more and more as time goes on," Christian said. "So, yeah. I do want her. I want her to shape up. I want her to get her head straight. I want her to get back down to earth. And maybe after that, I'll want her to be my girl again, which is exactly what you're talking about."

"She's turned too many people against her. And that includes me, and just about anybody that knows either Lita or any of us three," Edge suddenly said, with a certain anger, and causing Tomko and Christian to turn to him.

"Nice to know you could drop in," Tomko said. "What's with the pissed mood."

"Revolution was the worst night of my life!" Edge immediately grumbled.

"Edge, man, we go way, way back. Ever since we first chatted as kids, we were destined to be one of the best tag teams in wrestling history. Being that it was that far back, I know what you're whining about," Christian informed Sparks Mineral before he spoke. "But next week, we go to Toronto, the place where it all began, man. We get to visit a few old peeps here and there, get larger ovations than either of us have gotten in a while, mine being longer than yours, of course, and party all night long with somebody's high school sweetheart. But right now, we need to go out a few places, just Captain Charisma, the King of Tattoo, and the Abbot, not just Arch, but _Abbot_ of Awesomeness. See, Edge, you're like an abbot, because Awesomeness is like a monastery. I know a lot of people that _lived_ and _breathed_ the Awesomeness dynasty, as if they were nuns and monks - mostly females, so mostly nuns - at a monastery or a convent. We were the thing, man. The thing that was teaching people that wrestling, sports, and entertainment was about a lot more than main event contests and super hot girls. If people weren't talking about how Triple H did this or The Rock did that or Mick Foley took this much or that much pain or Steve Austin performed this or that or Vince McMahon and his family are so evil, and if they weren't talking about things like Sable's painted hands, or a L… uh, or a bra and panties match dealing with Trish, they were talking about Edge and Chrstian, the tag team formerly known as Hard Impact, the tag team forming a dynasty in success, coolness, and most importantly of all, Awesomeness. And they were trying to understand our special lingo, which we had put onto a very popular site called the Edge and Christian Show, which was actually still running up until somewhere down at the end of last year, as well as pictures of our former dynasty. Hell, one of our first entrance themes is actually on a Canadian site as we speak! So, Edge. It would be an honor for us to relive those days from now into next week."

"Damn straight, Christian. I thought you were trying to maybe abase, or abash, or abate me, but after hearing you today, I know that we are a dynasty. Captain Charisma, Show Stealer, Peep Man, I am proud to stand by your side and call me your best friend," Edge said. "Now, let's get out on the road, shall we?"

"Oh, hell yeah," Christian smirked. The two shook hands and had a small friendly hug before going out on the town. Apparently, some words of praise, encouragement, or comfort from a long time running buddy did it for Edge. Tyson, Edge, and Christian were going to have an awesome time.


	6. A Most Celebrated Dynasty

Disclaimer: This is unassociated with any of my other stories, and I do not own any of the members of this story. I simply write this story due to my interest in Raw, especially with the superstars crucially in my dialogue.

Pairings: Some references of Edge/Lita and to Kane/Lita, maybe a little RKO/Stacy K, and no longer any chances of a pairing I was trying to maybe work somewhere with JH.

Rating Info: This story is rated PG-13.

**_The Stones of Raw_** by **Prime Time, Legend Champion**

Chapter 6: A Most Celebrated Dynasty

Following 1/17/05 episode of Raw

Air Canada Centre in Toronto, Ontario, Canada

Forget talking about the Revolution, and the night afterwards. Although it made a small impact on the tables, the real major event occurred in the middle of this night. That is, for all of you Edge & Christian teenyboppers and Awesomeness Dynasty lovers (the latter being like myself). Now, the event began with Chris Jericho's highlight reel. He gave his usual welcome to Raw is Jericho, then started talking about his qualifying for the Royal Rumble last night in his Canadian hometown of Winnipeg, a match coming later on against a most respected opponent - Chris Benoit - and the highlight reel. He was about to introduce the guest, but Muhammad Hassan and Daivari came out to rudely interrupt as they always do. Jericho got the first word in, though, letting them in on the "secret" that in a talk show such as the Reel, it's customary for the host to introduce the guests, who should not wander out whenever they feel like it. Hassan said it should be customary for the host to get to the point instead of rambling on about himself. Jericho says in a witty way that he was going to present them anyway, and then asks them why they're such angry sourpusses all the time. He proceeded to imitate the "It's customary for the host to get to the point and not talk about himself", and questioned why they're not happy to be out of America. They're warmly ensconced in the embrace of thousands of Jerichoholics in Toronto, Canada. Hassan then proceeds to ridiculously make another stupid statement. He feels he's connected to Canada because Canadians are like Arab Americans, in the sense that they're treated like second class citizens in the US, but they Canadians deserve it. After all, it's Canada's fault for the way he's being treated in his own country, where people look at him like he's a terrorist, but everyone knows the real terrorists came to the US through Canada because Canadian officials are too stupid and incompetent to do their jobs right. Those are his comments, and he is hated for that… well, in Canada. I'm not from there, but I understand them very well, especially when they chant "You Suck" at a man in an arena. He continues, saying that they have a self righteous attitude like they're classier than America, but they're all hypocrites, because they have the same prejudice as Americans, except they hide it better. He claims them afraid to show their feelings because they can't back it up if confronted. Jericho tells him to shut the hell up, and then says that as far as these two, the fans are not going to be afraid to tell them what they really think of them. Daivari takes the mic and says some Arabian crap, which is countered by a Jericho note. He says he understands what they're saying, and that he understands and has been trying really hard to figure out the language of Daivari. Here is Y2J's comical assessment; "Chris Jericho, your band Fozzy has a new record entitled 'All That Remains' that's coming out worldwide tomorrow", and Daivari wants an autographed copy of the CD. But he's not giving it to him, and Hassan's not liking this crap. He calls Jericho the worst of both worlds because he was born in America and raised in Canada, saying that Y2J has the loudmouth arrogant behavior of an American and the cowardice of a Canadian. Jericho retaliates with a slap, starting a fight with Hassan. He's got the Walls of Jericho, and Daivari breaks the party up and hops on Jericho's back, only to get thrown down. Hassan uses his facebuster, and then a camel clutch, as Daivari continues to speak Arab crap. Chris Benoit comes in to make the save for his friend and latter opponent. Hassan and Daivari walk to the back, confident of themselves.

Triple H and Ric Flair are next seen entering the arena and using bagpipe talk to tell somebody to put their bags in their locker room. Flair reports that Batista said it's all cool and there's no problem. Trips questions that, and Ric reveals that he and Batista shared messages back and forth, and the Leviathan only said he'd be a little late tonight, but the tone of his voice tells the Nature Boy it's all cool. The Game doesn't like the fact that theirs was no direct contact. Flair has to ensure him again by saying he knows what he's talking about. We go to break.

Next is a tag team match, 6-man, between La Resistance and Maven against Shelton Benjamin, The Hurricane, and Rosey. La Resistance - as is revealed - beat Regal in a handicap match to regain the Tag Team Titles as Eugene was injured for months, forcing Regal to go it alone. (at least he got a chance this time; back when he himself got that virus while champs with Storm, he got ripped off the team and Lance defended with Venis) Maven showed signs of not wanting to face Benjamin straight up, but wanting to punish him. In the end, La Resistance used the Au Revoir on Rosey as Shelton and Maven preoccupied the ref until the cover to pick up the 1, 2, 3.

Randy Orton is met in the back by Stacy Keibler, who tells him that she was so happy for him last week, and gives him a kiss on the cheek. Big news: the Stone Cold Press Conference, between Steve Austin and Vince McMahon, Wednesday at noon at Roosevelt Hotel in Hollywood, California. As we can find out online, this is about some WWE Films something.

Randy, a most respected man of Raw, comes out and reminisces the greatest moment of his life, which was right there in Toronto. He became the youngest World's Champion ever at SummerSlam 2004 there. He was really reliving the indescribable moment, even admitting that he cried because he did something nobody - not even himself - thought he could actually succeed in accomplishing. And the next night, he bled for the same reason (the Treason by Evolution). He mentioned the Title accomplishment, saying that everything he worked for was taken from him by Triple H. He said he wanted his pride, blood, and World Heavyweight Championship back, and he was going to get it at the Royal Rumble. This is where his title shot against Triple H would come. Then comes the Game.

First comment: this is the same old song and dance since Unforgiven 2004, when Triple H _received much ass-kissing from the office and Evolution_ to beat Randy for the belt. But he didn't mention that far. He says he used to think Orton was something before he turned his back on Evolution, something he suffered for. It was completely the other way around. Evolution turned its back on him and made him suffer. Anyway, he said Randy was going to suffer some more. He now brings up his 10-time World Champion resume, boasts about being the greatest wrestler alive today, and processes that long list of people he defeated… **yet again**. Orton cuts in, saying that this is the same speech he's been using for the last six years, and the Legend Champion and people are sick of it. As a member of Evolution, he had to hear it everywhere, every day. Trips then said he was sick to death of saying it, but every time he does, some punk kid comes in and thinks they'll shut him up, and they get beat, and he comes and walks out with the World Title and says it again. If Orton's sick of it, he says, imagine how he'll feel after the Royal Rumble, because he'll say it again, except he'll add Orton's name as a tag line to the long list of losers. Orton then challenges him to come to the ring, but the Game says that he's way beyond Orton because of the World Title on his shoulder. He says that it's Orton who should come to him, and that it's "see ya at the Royal Rumble." He retreats to the back, and Randy chases him. Only to get punched at the curtains, and basically jumped by Triple H all the way to the ring. When the Cerebral Assassin wastes time to get a steel chair, Orton picks up the advantage beyond succeeding assistance from Flair, who makes no difference. The two members run away when Orton gets the chair. His music goes on, and the Legend Champion is on fire.

Backstage, Trips and Flair are walking to their locker room, and Trips is ranting, saying that he's sick of this. Maria can't even ask him a question before getting ordered to shut up and bam. He's got something to say to Batista, but apparently, he doesn't say it. He opens the door and sees the Big Dave, who greets him coolly and excuses the incident from last week with the words "Accidents happen." Batista then reveals that Bischoff needs to talk to him about the Royal Rumble Match and the World Title. Of course, it's Trips' World Title, although he questions it. Batista then proceeds to kiss his ass to hype him up before leaving, saying that he is the Game. Flair follows up the act, knowing that Batista couldn't make it work. Next, it's Coach, with Shawn Michaels, who is incredulously booed throughout Canada. Like I said: I'm no Canadian, but I can understand them. It is absurd they still hold the grudge, but life has absurdities in it. Apparently, says Michaels, they haven't forgotten, and he's begged the Canadian fans for forgiveness for seven years, but it ain't happenin'. He then mentions that he is moving on to the Royal Rumble. Everybody knows by winning, you go on to become the Champ at WrestleMania. He knows it because he did it. He adds another incentive by stating that he plans to make sure Edge has no chance of winning the Rumble Match and becoming World's Champion. He actually says he's going to eliminate (mouths off "the f outta" to the Coach and cameras) him, and recognizes "the man", Eric Bischoff, in the area. Eric Bischoff couldn't help but overhear Michaels talking about wanting in the Royal Rumble, and he immediately got it because he's Shawn Michaels, and he won it twice, and in 1996, he went on to WrestleMania to take the WWE Heavyweight Championship away from Bret Hart. "But since you're dressed and obviously ready to compete tonight, and since it's always so fun and entertaining when you're NORTH of the border, I've decided to set up a match for you. Tonight, it's gonna be the Heartbreak Kid, Shawn Michaels, one on one, against Toronto's own, Captain Charisma, Christian! But, you know, when you think about it, it's not really one on one, is it? Because Christian has Tyson Tomko and every make belief blooded Canadian in this arena in his corner." Oh, and the match is next.

We've always known that Captain Charisma - Christian - has had a major Peepulation. But, tonight, as his entrance music, "Just Close Your Eyes", blared on at his hometown arena, the fan base of the Show Stealer was much more open than it had been in the past, as Christian and Edge predicted. Christian came out with Tomko, of course, who decided for some reason or another not to wear a shirt. Christian was more open to the peeps than usual as well. They reviewed the Edge-Michaels Brawl, then out came the Heartbreak Kid to the now Canada-usual chorus of boos. When he was done with his prancing entrance, though in the middle of his music, Edge came out in street clad to take a look. We went to break, the music still going on.

The match has already begun by the time we get back from commercial break. In fact, they're both down. Early on after their recovery, Michaels recovers offense, and Edge comes closer, eventually making two straight distractions with which Tomko and Christian took advantage of the Heartbreak Kid. Now, Christian controlled the action for several minutes, and at every point in which he takes a good showable advantage, he wins a popularity contest. Edge and Tomko rooted their cohort on against the Heartbreak Kid. During a grounded headlock Christian had on Michaels, the camera locked on Edge calling Captain Charisma's name so as to say, "You better get this done for me, man!" Soon, though, Michaels began to take the advantage, and Edge and Tomko, as well as every "make belief blooded Canadian in this arena", absolutely hated it. Tomko and Edge, at one point, got tired of it, as the King of Tattoo distracted the referee so the Abbot of Awesomeness (ONE TIME ONLY, I'VE GOT A BETTER NICKNAME OR TWO THAN THE ONES I'VE DEVISED SO FAR) could Spear the Showstopper, who got out of it and eventually won with Sweet Chin Music. When he got back on his feet, Tomko tried to give him a Big Boot, but he sidestepped and went for Sweet Chin Music again. The Problem Solver managed to back himself in time to avoid impact, but he still staggered enough to fall and die anyway. Then, Edge finally gets the Spear on Michaels and starts punching the living hell out of him, much to the delight of Toronto, Ontario, Canada, the place where Edge and Christian were born and raised. This is where they first met as kids and grew up to become the best of friends and tag team partners from day one, talking about doing things like what they were doing today, and doing it today. The Ballstic One applied the Edgecator to Michaels, and then yelled in his face with the "How does it feel? You screwed me!" comments. The loyal Edgeheads of about 20 years were still loyal, obviously believing that Michaels did screw Edge. And I agree with them, personally. After all, he did screw Bret Hart. Canada still hates him for it.

The last we hear of Edge and Christian? Thanks to this, not likely. Edge doing most effective damage, those three killed the Heartbreak Kid, stopped the Showstopper. Anyway, Batista, not to be outdone, participated in a matchup against the Mohawk Knight, Viscera, a man who a friend of mine has been on record to call him the "Fat Bastard Who Shouldn't Even Have A Job Because He's Too Fing Fat". A short while after the start of the match, Viscera demonstrates his abusive size and strength advantage - as he did with Chris Benoit - but he unfortunately had a much shorter match against Batista. When the Capital Destroyer manages somehow to fire a spine buster on Viscera, the big man - whose only Smackdown match of 2004 can tell you he's been known to be sloppy - is dead. 1, 2, 3. Then, Chris Benoit was seen coming out for the Battle of the Chrises, against the opponent who he saved from Muhammad Hassan, Chris Jericho.

Flair is encouraging Trips in the back by saying he heard the Game, and he is the greatest champion of all time, and winning the Title ten times, he's the greatest wrestler alive today. And then, when Batista comes in, an obviously amazed Flair turns all his attention to the great Leviathan. Trips gave a much more reserved congratulations and asked Batista if he got to talk to Bischoff yet. The revelation: Batista was being offered a Royal Rumble qualifying match by Bischoff… if he wanted to take it. Now, Trips is trying not to upset Batista, obviously because he's scared, but he's making a point to Batista that the Big Dave shouldn't focus on himself and Evolution should be thinking about keeping the World Title. Batista understands that nobody likes a self-centered egomaniac, and will make his decision later.

Next: Benoit vs. Jericho. The match starts slow, as the two men feel each other out in the early minutes, but Benoit, with two German suplexes, started the quickening of the pace. The fans respected the action as they eventually went into a standstill right before commercial. By the time we get back, things are getting physical. One wrestling highlight would be a super W-arm suplex off the top rope by Jericho on Benoit. The Rabid Wolverine, since the break, had been bleeding from the nose. Benoit once went for a backdrop suplex, but the two men were so close to the ropes they ended up falling over to the outside. Y2J once laid flat on his stomach at the apron, only to receive a baseball slide knocking him straight down from the chamber. When Benoit first goes for the Wolverine Headbutt, Jericho avoids the contact. King comments that it's so even it's scary. At the final point, both men failed to get their submission finishers, and when Benoit goes for a sharpshooter, Jericho uses an inside cradle cover to hit it 1, 2, 3. Benoit overcomes frustration to shake hands with Y2J. An overview of the Snitsky situation appears.

When we come back from break, they overview the current Survivor Series card from Raw and Smackdown. A sudden warning appears about next week's main event; Randy Orton vs. Ric Flair. Then, Trish Stratus's music comes on, and out the raging blonde beauty of Raw, Toronto's own Women's Champion, appears. She is appreciated and pointing towards good fans for the first time since the humiliation of Jericho 10 months ago. Trish talks about how glad she is to be appreciated, and slams we in the United States by calling us idiots and USA-holes, and saying that we're disgusting with our claims that she is. She says that she hates to say it, but she told Lita so that if she faced her at New Year's Revolution, her comeback and Women's Title reign would be over. And, that did happen, as the Queen of Stratusfaction destroyed the knee of the Extreme Diva, which means Lita will be out for a long, long time. Trish now comments that there is a locker room full of men who would be more than happy to impregnate Lita and give her that baby she keeps yapping about. Just because her knee is messed up, says Trish, doesn't mean her uterus is closed for business, so she should lie back, put her legs up, and relax. But Kane was having none of it. He made his flaming entry and chased and caught Trish. Kane intimidated Trish, asking if she was scared because she should be. He took Trish's throat with his engulfing Shaq-like hand, then lets go, only to smirk darkly and actually do the Chokeslam to Hell. I say Trish deserved it, but it was still unrighteous. Kane is an evil man. That statement was later proven again by the Snitsky match. It was overtly physical, but I need not mention anything more than the conclusion. Kane chokeslammed Snitsky off the stage through a wooden table and jumped with him for the hell of it. Neither man made significant movement as Raw went off the air.

Gangrel was walking in the back, with his glass of crimson wine, headed for the parking lot, where we saw Edge and Christian sitting down without Tyson Tomko in the area. Apparently, the team formerly known somewhere as the Suicide Blondz was awaiting the Problem Solver. They had major smirks on their faces.

"Edge!" Gangrel called them. The smiling tag team returned to normal face and turned around to meet their former master, the Brood Master.

"Gangrel," Edge recognized him, standing up. "What's up, man?"

"Listen. I managed to talk to Kane after he came back for a while following the Trish Chokeslam to Hell," Gangrel informed them. "And, he knew that you were pissed at Trish when you heard her say those things about Lita. You wanna know how he knew?"

"Yeah. How?" Christian asked in the place of the Arch of Awesomeness, just for the hell.

"Well, Christian. Since you asked, I think I should be a little louder," Gangrel said, clearing his throat before getting on with the answer to the question. "He knew it because he was feeling it himself."

"Of course. She's his wife. I don't know why I feel that same way he does about her, but he's the one that should be," Edge explained.

"At least you recognize that enough to keep your relations with her backstage," Christian commented before going into a seriously immature sing-song mode. "I think somebody wants to give her that baaabyyy."

"Shut up!" Edge yelled.

"Anyway," Gangrel interrupted, "I think we should let me continue before things get out of hand. Listen; I had microscopic cameras rigged all over the place last week so Lita could see what would go down with you backstage after the show. She called me to tell me to get that done for her before anyone showed up at Ft. Lauderdale. Only footage related to you would be recorded and taped to her-"

"So, I embarrassed myself-"

"In front of Lita, without anybody knowing it, including yourself? Yes," Christian smirked. "She's probably thanking me right now for saving your ass from killing a million people for the camera to see. And, she's probably feeling pitiful for you, considering the way Revolution temporarily screwed up your life."

"It was instinct, I guess," Edge said. "Of course it was. I mean, how could I have, in the worst fit of my life, come to the one man who I had been proud to call best friend starting over twenty years ago from the city that the next week's Raw would come to billions from, Toronto, Ontario, Canada? It had to be instinct."

"From older days, hanging together as ordinary kids, we shared the dream of becoming great in this company. And we did it, hanging together as the greatest tag team in WWE history. For something to run that far and that long, man, I had to know what to say to you," Christian commented.

"I know, man. That's why you're my compadre," Edge told the Show Stealer.

"You're like my brother, man. I still can't believe we called each other that back in the old days!" Christian reminisced incredulously.

"Blood couldn't prove it, bro, but it wasn't a lie. We were united into a Brood, and we knew each other so well for such a long time that it couldn't be disproved by any WWE Superstar during any of our time!" Edge continued the remembrance of greatness. "By the way, Gangrel, you still have your blood on."

"Huh? Oh, yeah," Gangrel said, remembering the glass of bloodwine that was still in his hand. "Thanks." He then began drinking from it. Edge and Christian were still not used to that, especially since it had been long since they last saw it up close and personal.

"Damn, man. That is disgusting," Edge just had to talk. "Can't you do that somewhere else?"

Gangrel then proceeded to spit it out into the air, Edge and Christian scurrying so as not to ruin their perfect outfits. Unfortunately, both that and their one-night special limousine wound up getting plastered. Gangrel, though, simply demonstrated being hyped up.

"You idiot, you ruined our perfect outfits!" Christian then proceeded to yell at him.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, man, calm down. I'm gonna scrape it off. You know that," Gangrel said, excusing himself. But he was right. Back whilst they were under his vampiric tutilage, he always cleaned up any mess he made in the Brood and Ministry of Darkness chambers with his blood-spewing act. And they saw it, too.

"What the hell happened to Tomko?" Christian asked Edge. The Arch of Awesomeness simply shrugged, then suggested they go look for him while Gangrel cleaned things up with a handkerchief from his pants.

"Tonight, man, it was the richest night of our history. Consider all the great things that we've done so far, and this tops it. This tops it all! First of all, we returned home and relatively succeeded in front of all our old friends and fans. Peeps and Edgeheads, new and old, respected us like nobody else ever will let on in the arenas," Edge said, visualizing the events of the night as they walked for Christian and Tomko's locker room.

"Yeah, you're right. And what did we succeed in? Beating the living hell out of that Heartburn Kid, Shawn Michaels. Can you believe the audacity of that man? He makes it clear that he's out to screw you. I mean, he takes your votes at Taboo Tuesday - and just like Shelton and Batista did me, I don't know how - he Super Kicks you out of the match at Revolution with the excuse of retaliation for an utter complete accident, and in the middle of that interview tonight, I heard it made clear by Michaels that he wants to make sure you have no chance of becoming the World's Champion. Listen to this; he said, quote, 'I will eliminate (mouths the profane detail that Michaels mouthed silently to Coach and camera the f outta) him'."

"What?" Edge asked, obviously not reading Christian's lips.

"He said, 'I will eliminate (mouthing the lines again) him'," Christian repeated.

"What the hell are you talking about?" Edge once again asked Christian, oblivious to where Captain Charisma's message was coming from.

"You haven't been reading my lips, have you?" Christian asked Edge.

"No. Why?"

"Read my lips! You don't know what I said. Pay attention to me, because Michaels mouthed something off with his lips, and I'm repeating what he said! He said, quote, 'I will eliminate (mouthing "the f outta" yet again) him'!"

"Ooohh, pricey. But you know what? That just proves how much of an evil man he is. I don't know how JR doesn't understand it. I would have been the World Heavyweight Champion had it not been for Shawn Michaels. Hell, he even screwed you out of the Intercontinental title!"

"That match we had against each other somewhere after Unforgiven, right? You've got a point. If he didn't Super Kick me in that match, if he had respected me enough to let me win there, I would've probably gone on to become the Intercontinental Champion by beating Chris Jericho at Taboo Tuesday," Christian said. "Hell, by butting into that title picture in the first place, he cost me the opportunity to make challenge for the Intercontinental title, no votes necessary. Just like Bret Hart, just like all of Canada, he screwed us. Glad I could help you set one piece of justice in this situation."

"Wait, there he is," Edge stopped himself and Christian, noticing the Heartbreak Kid talking to Victoria.

"Vic, I seriously can't believe that idiot Edge actually thinks I've been screwing him around all this time," Michaels said to her. What a disingenuous claim, in my view, as well as that of people far more northern than me.

"But wasn't that Spear an accident?" Victoria asked Shawn.

"What a pathetic question. I seriously believe that he Speared me deliberately because of a personal vendetta," he answered the Spider Shaker.

"You've got to be kidding me, Shawn. That Spear was an accident. An accident! You screwed me out of the World Heavyweight Title!" Edge yelled at the Showstopper.

"What's this? Forgiveness?" Michaels joked to Edge.

"Hell no!" Edge and Christian both replied, each getting a steel chair in the area.

"For us, for Bret Hart," Edge started.

"For every Canadian you've walked over," Christian continued.

"It's time to pay the piper!" they both finished.

"Wow, tough superhero act. Hey!" He complained, as Victoria pushed him and laughed. Unfortunately, the laughter would subside, as Michaels wound up complaining to the young girl right in the middle of the El Con-chair'to from Edge and Christian. He was flat on the ground, and Victoria ran away in shock and fear. Edge looked at her and shook his head as the two continued walking.

"Wow. She can't seem to pick the right friends around here, now can she?" Edge asked Christian.

"Nope. She doesn't know who are the good friends to keep around," Christian commented.

"But we do. Right, man?"

"Of course. Speaking of bad friends to keep around, I would be a bad friend to keep around if I didn't remove the name 'Abbot of Awesomeness' and change around 'Arch of Awesomeness' a little bit," Christian told Edge. 'Arch' was created prematurely, as somebody obviously wasn't thinking along the right words. And 'Abbot of Awesomeness'? That just doesn't sound right, man. I'd like to compare Awesomeness more to an art. Seven times, we composed **pictures** of standing tall, standing together, standing cool, as WWE World Tag Team Champions. And we composed art with our multiple-second poses of shiny greatness, our 'out for joy' persona, and our extremely awesome lingo that only Canadian people seem to continue understanding. (a/n: yeah, right, Christian; you wouldn't even be talking if _I_ didn't recall, and I'm not from Canada) So, one of the new nicknames is 'Artist of Awesomeness'. The other one, because the world's teenybopper ladies can tell you that they scream for you everyday they see you no matter what, is 'Vanilla Scorch Cake'."

"Now, that one reeks of a lot more awesomeness than last week's monastery joke," Edge laughed, agreeing with what Christian was thinking. "But, listen to this one, man: an estimated 18,000 Peeps and Edgeheads watched as their favorite wrestling idols, the Vanilla Scorch Cake and Captain Charisma, enjoyed an allied moment as they beat the living crap out of a man who is still hated all over Canada for November, uh… okay, some Sunday in November of 1997. And they did it in the place where they grew and became the good friends that many people know they still are to this day."

"That's gonna be some headlines in the Toronto Sun. I guaran-damn-tee it! This is gonna be even bigger news than when Randy Orton won the World Title at SummerSlam!" Christian burst in anticipation of the fact.

"Hey, Christian. Speaking of which, there's our World Champ, Triple H," Edge noticed ahead of them. The Hurricane was arguing with Ric Flair and… well, Triple H.

"So we all know Lita's a slut. And you dare compare Trish to her, and then say that Lita has integrity? You are a shame, man. None of you ever listened to me when I was talkin' to ya! And look what's happened to you. Gregory Shane Helms, you are a joke with that superhero act of yours. The Hardyz, they broke up, and I don't even know if they exist anymore! Crash is dead, Shannon is-"

"Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hold on a second here, Citizen Flair," Hurricane interrupted the Nature Boy. "Now, first of all, The Hurricane is not a joke. Secondly, you don't go out on a limb and disrespect my friends, especially not Crash Holly, considering his grave is honored by many fans of the old Hardcore Championship portions of the Attitude era in this company. Thirdly, the Hardy Boyz are not deserters-"

"Now, it's your turn to hold on a second, kid," Trips immediately yelled in his face. "The Hardy Boyz are deserters to this company! Like a typical Diamond Dallas Page - who sucks, by the way - Jeff Hardy quit and went on to join Total Nonstop Action, a company that, if not for my good buddy Jeff Jarrett, I would raid it and get it thrown out into the waters. When Matt Hardy lost Lita, he's come up with the excuse of a knee injury that would take up four to six months of his career because his emotions were crushed. His _poor little heart_ was breaking, so he decided to be a typical North Carolinian loser - unlike Ric Flair, the only man I know who came out of NC not to be a loser - and create an excuse worse than Edge-like Canadians so as not to be put in wrestling matches. Crash was never a big deal to me. It's actually good riddance that he was rolled into a casket, because he was a moron, literally and figuratively. He could never do anything in this business after that Hardcore Title died! Shannon Moore, he's better off in a developmental league like IWA, because Teddy Long knows he's only keeping Shannon around to prevent a fanatical mutiny from Crystal and all the other stupid girls who think he has talent and looks good. (a/n: it's typical Triple H here, people; we know there's more than girls that respect everything he's bashing here) And Lita, she proved herself to be a total slut when she said yes to Kane in the middle of that ring, and in the middle of her relationship with Matt Hardy. When he questions her, she gives yet another typical excuse that would come from either you cowardly type North Carolinians or Canadians who are scared to fight face to face like Edge; (Edge had to be restrained by Christian) (imitating Lita) 'Oh, Mattypoo, I'm so sorry, I did it to protect you, the baby might be yours.' (imitation over) Ha! Like anybody would ever believe that crap that came out of her mouth. See, Lita is a typical rebellious lucha libre Sanford ho. She belongs to anyone who can give her a baby to raise. Her heart is in men's penises and little baby tears. It is not in this ring anymore, it's not in this business. Why do you think she made a reckless move and 'broke her poor ACL'? To have more time to search for a father to a baby! And Trish Stratus knows it, just like she knows that I am one of three candidates for the greatest Heavyweight Champion of all time, those three being me, Jeff Jarrett, and John Bradshaw Layfield. And that's why she belongs to the Women's Title, and if she would allow backstage relations with us to extend to the public audience, I could say that she belongs to Evolution!"

"No, she doesn't. I think we can tell you what she belongs to," Tyson Tomko suddenly interrupted, having a black sleeveless Edge And Christian Show shirt on with his pants now. He was with Randy Orton, back in the whole of that suit he wore earlier tonight.

"What?" Flair and Trips turned around in demand of who was in the area.

"She belongs to whoever can pay her going rate. Which is what? Anybody got change for a nickel?" Orton finished Tomko's statement.

"You'd better watch yourself!" Ric Flair immediately threatened Orton and Tomko.

"You are one of those USA-holes she was mentioning, Triple H. She's Canadian."

"And blonde, and hot-"

"And trashy, and disrespectful, and vile, and disgusting, and dirty, and bottom-feeding," Tomko interrupted, finishing and altering Triple H's statements. He then noted Edge and Christian and pointed towards them.

"And a filthy, dirty, disgusting, brutal, bottom-feeding, trashbag ho!" they said. It almost felt like Chris Jericho's essence was in the middle of this himself.

"Hey, kids. I think there's another blonde hottie in this arena, and she is taller, more dedicated to fans everywhere, including the United States _and_ Canada, and much less trashy than Miss Trash Status!" he suddenly interrupted, proving that he actually was in it all along. "And, standing behind Randy Orton in one of the most beautiful red dresses I've ever seen, a woman who I have personally dubbed the Empress of Legs. Randy, you are being stalked by Stacy Keibler!"

"Hey, that's a good one, Jericho," Randy congratulated him, though he knew Stacy was behind him all along.

"Yeah, I've gotta admit. At least that one didn't suck," Edge said to the King of Bling Bling. "Tyson. Randy. Come on, let's go." The four walking back towards the limo, Tyson looked at the Evolution members as to say, "Go sit with your slut, since you like talking good about her so much. She needs it."

"Hey, Randy. Can I come?" Stacy asked Randy from behind, hoping to startle him and get a yes.

"It didn't work, Stace. Of course you can come with us," Randy accepted the offer.

"Hey, hey, wait a minute. This is up to us, remember?" Edge interrupted the discussion.

"What?" the others stopped

"But then again, I agree with him. Come on, people, what? You thought I was gonna pass up the opportunity to take Stacy along for this ride? We've got a riot to attend here, kids," Edge said. "Now, let's go."

"That's a little bit of Sparks Mineral comin' outta you, right there," Tyson commented.

"Yeah, you're right," Edge agreed.

"Hey, Craptain Charisma! Have a nice party!" Jericho called from behind.

"It's _Cap_tain Charisma!" Christian emphasized in disbelief.

"Forget about him, man. He's just being an egomaniac. We have an Awesomeness riot to attend to!" Randy said, calming down Captain Charisma a little bit. Up to Gangrel about a half-minute later…

"So, you're not ashamed of him? You saw that coming? Well. That's real good news, considering his heart's with yoh, crap. The party's coming. Talk to you later." He was on his cellphone, which he quickly closed as Edge and party appeared.

"So, what happened here? You cleaned it up yet? Who were you talking to?" Christian asked the Vampire Warrior.

"You didn't clean up your outfits?" Gangrel questioned his former underlings.

"We can explain it to the fans," Edge answered.

"Of course. So, what club are we heading in?" Gangrel asked the group.

"Not you, man. You'll scare the guests," Christian excused him from the festivities.

"Pfeh. By the way, Awesome man, Lita has no shame of you."

"Oh, my god! Is that-"

"Randy, Edge, Tyson, Gangrel, and Christian? With Stacy in the limo?"

"Oh, no, man. Here come the fan girls," Edge said, the group (except for Stacy) standing in front of a crowd of ten fan girls, so if they split up, the situation was still sore, as each man was going to have two girls chasing them if it was equal opportunity. But, at least it was better than sticking together and seeing ten girls run rampid to catch them while they struggled to run as a tag team.

"Oh, no. We're not gonna chase you guys unless you like it. I mean, we may be crazy Awesomeness fan girls, but we do know better. Edge, do you have a copy of your book?"

"Ah, somebody who wants a free copy. The book's not really selling well, so this is big. I have about five in my bag. Driver, pop the trunk," Edge requested from the man at the wheel of the limo, walking over to the back of the black limousine.

"Are you Kurt Angle now?" Randy questioned Edge's language on that one. All he got for that was a "shut up"; and it wasn't even from Edge.

This time, the driver did open the trunk of the car, and the travel bags showed up in his face. Edge took the black one with the white logo of his face on it and took out that life story with his face as a statue-like figure on the cover. In fact, he did that five times, taking his Sharpie from the bag and signing the front inside cover of each. He then tossed it to five of the girls, who got saved from going into a tug-of-war session which would've probably torn up the books. How did that happen? A camera man shows up, and Christian suggests the five Superstars take a picture next to the limo. The fan girls don't get to enter the picture, unless it's somewhere in the background. Will they relish that opportunity? Of course. Just for the populace's fun, here's how the picture works from left to right in the camera's eye:

1) Edge, arms crossed, smirking.

2) Christian, hands on hips, smiling like a captain.

3) Tyson, arms crossed, laid back on limo.

4) Gangrel, holding the glass, smirking.

5) Randy, one thumb up, smiling with eyes closed.

6) Stacy, sitting atop the limo with legs crossed.

Of course, Christian suggested the five Superstars, meaning Stacy inserted herself in the middle of it, and the cameraman couldn't resist following along. After the picture is done, Edge suddenly thinks about something that he hadn't seen and heard at once for years.

"The E&C entrance. I just remembered!"

And with that, he went to the production studio leading to the arena and talked to Kevin Dunn.

"You still have the entrance Christian and I used? And I'm not talking about the one that would sound like some teen show introduction," Edge said.

"Yeah. I think we have it," Kevin answered.

"Could you play it?" Edge asked the man, who took that to heart. Seeing as how these two guys are from Toronto, it wouldn't hurt to give their hometown memories. Edge came back down when assured that Mr. Dunn would find the music and play it out.

"What was up, man?" Tyson asked Edge.

"You'll hear it and love it," Edge answered.

"Hey, Edge! You're my new hero! Thanks for beating the hell out of Shawn Michaels!" suddenly yelled a guy who had seen the show and, like many others, loved every bit of it.

"What about me? I'm the one that wore out Michaels with that match!" Christian yelled to the kid.

"Yeah, you're right! Thanks, Christian!" the fan called back, leaving. Edge looked incredulously at Captain Charisma. "Oh, and guys; welcome back home!"

"Glad I could help you out, man," Christian suddenly said to his pal.

"Yeah. You're right. Thanks," Edge said.

"Even I can't stand Shawn Michaels unless necessary. Speaking of which, I saw him laid down three a minute ago. What happened?" Randy asked Edge and Christian, who just looked at each other and laughed.

"What?" Randy asked again in a more questioning tone.

"Listen, Randy. I know you haven't been here more than two years, most of which you spent kissing Triple H's ass, but maybe you haven't heard of the El Con-chair'to," Christian said, putting a hand on each of the Man of Destiny's shoulders.

"El Con… oh, yeah! You mean that move where both of you hit the guy with the chair at the same time, right?" Randy guessed correctly, that fact confirmed by the grin on each man's face. "Back before I got the call, I used to see that all the time. I remember when you did it to Mick Foley, I could still get a tape and laugh about it to this day."

"Maybe you can get it on 24/7," Edge said.

"The only problem is, I'm part of 24/7. Simply because I showed up," the Legend Champion clearly stated.

"You think you know me."

Yes, people. "Over the Edge", the more famous entrance music of Edge & Christian's days as a tag team, was heard all over the place, and that's when about ten families nearby who just knew what was going on all of a sudden appeared at the limo. It soon became a crowd, and many people - including a good number of those who saw the show - are making their cheers and comments about the Dynasty of Awesomeness tag team as they and their friends continue to stand by the limousine and proudly accept these compliments from the Edgeheads and the Peeps. It is now a major event, as the limousine is ensconced with cameras being all over it as soon as the company of five gets in. Apparently, Gangrel isn't scaring off as many people as Christian once thought. The limousine's drive through the town is much slower than it would have been, all because this was the night on which Edge and Christian coallided to destroy Shawn Michaels in a place where he is most hated, and then relived the dynasty in which they used to do things like this day in and day out. And it didn't hurt to take Tyson Tomko, Randy Orton, Gangrel, and Stacy Keibler along for the ensuing party ride. All of a sudden, Lita was, and this is unthinkable, completely outside of Edge's active train of thought, glued to the still-lifelike back of his mind, unable to take action inside that cranium chamber of awesomeness. For Adam "Edge" Copeland and Jason "Christian" Reso, it felt so good to be back home that not even the mention of girls who have recently impacted their lives can derail them from their trail of greatness.


	7. Enter Naughty Game

Disclaimer: This is unassociated with any of my other stories, and I do not own any of the members of this story. I simply write this story due to my interest in Raw, especially with the superstars crucially in my dialogue.

Pairings: Some references of Edge/Lita and Kane/Lita, maybe a little RKO/Stacy, and maybe another JH pairing is in mind, but not this soon.

Rating Info: This story is rated PG-13.

**_The Stones of Raw_** by **Prime Time, Legend Champion**

Chapter 7: Enter Naughty Game

Following 1/24/05 episode of Raw

Ford Center in Oklahoma City, Oklahoma

The Artist of Awesomeness and Captain Charisma enjoyed a night alongside one another as the greatest heroes of Toronto, Ontario, Canada, as they returned home to put together a moment which culminated in Edge beating the living hell out of the Heartbreak Kid, Shawn Michaels. But there was one problem with that night: that was last week, and it was not the Royal Rumble. The real worries here are about Edge not being able to settle his tag team's beef with the Showstopper himself. These worries were reignited at the beginning of the night, as Tyson, Edge, and Christian were going to have to compete hard because of their actions last week against Shawn Michaels. It was a six man tag involving the three "villainous heroes of Canada", Michaels, and his two tag team partners, the Chris Team of Benoit and Jericho.

At one point, Shawn Michaels went for a cheap shot on Edge as he took down Christian in the beginning, and ended up hitting nothing of the man fixated upon destroying him. Jericho once did his footwork dance on top of Tomko, causing him to become flustered for a little while. At the commercial break, Edge and Tomko were taken to the outside, and Jericho and Benoit lifted Christian over their shoulders in order to throw him down onto his partners, which happened. During commercial, however, my tag team took the match's control, but when Shawn Michaels got to the ring, they had trouble retaining it until Christian irishwhipped Michaels to the ropes on his side. Edge lowered the ropes, taking Shawn down to the outside. Sparks Mineral then got the tag from Captain Charisma after bringing Michaels back into the ring, but Shawn tackled Edge straight back to that corner, and Christian tagged in and took advantage of Michaels punching Edge on the ground. Tomko eventually returned to the ring with a new focus. Edge and Michaels eventually brawled on the floor again, and Christian got tagged in again. Michaels got a Thezs Press soon after and even whacked Christian with a couple of hard fists! Christian, however, didn't let Michaels get a tag. Rather, he won a tug of war to get to a tag team partner and kept Shawn on the ground for Tyson, the tagged partner, to jump him. Even Edge came back into the match after Tomko hit a powerslam, and with a little help from the Problem Solver, he hitched a great dropkick, and actually mocked Shawn Michaels' physique pose! Edge and his friends have been isolating Michaels for a long time, and then Christian eventually punked out Jericho so that when Michaels got a small package on him, Christian could somehow take a breather before kicking out because the ref was distracted by Y2J's illegal entry. Eventually, Tomko got tagged in, and so did Michaels reach for a tag. Unfortunately, Michaels got it to Benoit, and Tyson stupidly flustered, causing Benoit to be able to go on fire, which eventually wound up in Tyson missing a Big Boot, receiving Sweet Chin Music, and getting pinned. Edge commented that Michaels was his at the match at the Royal Rumble. After Smackdown Rebound showed up with the event last week in which The Big Show as shown by Kurt Angle and John Bradshaw Layfield for being the lovestruck idiot who could - and did - easily get destroyed, Stacy Keibler was seen making her way to the ring with a sweet surprise for Jim Ross and a hot black outfit.

Stacy Keibler then went on to come out and announce that the Governor of Oklahoma declared that this day be Triple H day… whopps, I mean Jim Ross day. She presented a legendary Oklahoma college wrestler called Danny Hodge, who by now is ancient; she introduced Jim Ross to the ring, and the Oklahoma University anthem was all over. He had a lot of fanfare, almost as much as Christian had gotten last week, if the signs in the audience tell anything. There was even a sign with J on one side and R on the other, which the guy holding it kept rotating to the anthem. Stacy also presented footage from an press conference and autograph session in which Oklahoma Governer Brad Henry declared January 24th, 2005 as Jim "JR" Ross day, and JR said the following saying: "I'm Sooner born, I'm Sooner bred, and by God, when I die, I'll be Sooner dead." Even his death would be nice for this day the way it was going right now. He then went on to receive a kiss on the cheek from Stacy, which obviously stimulated him even though he stays mature, and then began talking about his parents when Triple H came out with Ric Flair. This is Triple H's funniest - though sickest in a different way - moment of all time, so I will be giving full coverage of it right now.

"Oh, God, whoo! That'd bring a tear to a glass eye. Oh, my… oh! Oklahoma and JR day. Can you believe it? Oklahoma celebrating JR day. (waits out cheers as Flair pretends to hail JR) That's like crap telling puke it smells good! (jeers come) Come on, seriously! Are you guys that big of losers, you've got nothing going on but Jim Ross? (boos) You asked it, now I'll ask it. Any Sooners here? (fans cheer to show themselves) Nache, what was the score of the last Sooners game? (Flair comes on, speaking through fanatic jeers the score of USC 55, OU Sooners 19) (Trips is laughing maniacally) That's the kind of game you leave at the end of the third quarter, you know what I'm saying, JR? Oh, my God! Are you people serious? Listen to me. You guys want something to celebrate? How about, how about this? How about Triple H day? (boos arrive, Flair hails Triple H) How about a day for the ten-time World Heavyweight Champion? That, that would be a celebration! Yeah. (fans boo again) Now, JR, I'm sorry to interrupt ya, and I know this little hayseed celebration is a big deal to ya here, but I got some business to attend to, so why don't you take Father Time here and run along? Go on. (boos come) Go on. ("You Suck" chants arrive, Trips grabs Stacy's arm as she attempts to leave along) Hold on, Stacy. Not you. See, you, Stacy, are part of the business I want to take care of. You see what I'm saying? Stacy, y- (JR comes back, cheers come along) Maybe you didn't hear me, JR. Maybe you didn't hear me. I said to go away. (JR's rebuttal "I heard you. And I know you're World's Champion, and I know I'm only an announcer, and you'd beat my butt, but by God, as a man, I'm not gonna leave you alone with Stacy Keibler." earns cheers) Whoa, hold on a second now, let me get this straight now. You're a man, huh? You're a man now, JR? (tries to imitate OK people, though it sounds more like Batista) You big Oklahoma man, huh? Is that you? (fans cheer at the thought) Big Sooner Boomer, huh? (stops imitation) Run along, JR. What was that saying, you said? Sooner born, Sooner bred, you keep going, JR, sooner than later, you're gonna be dead. (fans boo, Flair punches JR in the grapefruits from behind) You see, JR? That's the kind of thing th- ("Father Time" turns the Game around and splacks him, causing him to let go of Stacy. Flair pushes him down, and then the two Evolutioners stomp on him like vulptures, ending Stacy and the fans' small moment of goodwill, because they are booing, and the Empress of Legs fails to escape before the Cerebral Assassin takes ahold of her arm again) Now, you see, Stacy, maybe you didn't understand me. This is Triple H day. And, seems you wanted to kiss JR, and last week, I saw you smoochin' Randy Orton. Maybe it's time you give the World Champion a little bit of that action, huh? (Stacy continues to resist as fans groan) You misunderstand me, Stacy. I'm not asking ya. I'm telling ya. (goes in for kiss, fans resist too much anger, and Stacy manages to keep away from the lip lock, although he's gripped her head with his powerful hand) You know what, Stacy? On second thought, I've got a better idea for you."

With that comes the sickness. He sticks her head in for the Pedigree, which gives the camera a small look up Stacy's skirt at her ass, but really gives every spectator with a little bit of sense a huge look up the skirt of Triple H's character at its undisputable half-ass. And Randy Orton would definitely agree with me. In fact, the Legend Champion stopped it right there, and Triple H threw Stacy at him, and the two Evolutioners ran off.

Anyway, now that we're done with Hunter Hearst Helmsley showing signs of future rapist conduct in the middle of that ring, let's go to Ric Flair and Triple H walking backstage and noticing the sexy Candace talking to some Shane-looking guy in the arena… only to be rejected after Triple H pulls up her skirt behind her and takes his own large and unsolicited look at _her_ behind, and then tries to force himself upon her. By now, they're high, and they've almost reached the room. When they do, they meet Batista and tell him - with an unreturned glee - about what happened in the ring, since he didn't see it. Trips excuse the runaway as wanting to leave Orton to Ric Flair before the Royal Rumble. Batista noted that speaking of which, he was taking the Royal Rumble qualifying match. Trips starts talking all sorts of crap to him, when Batista mentions that the main focus was that the World Title stay in Evolution. If by some off chance Orton takes Trips' title, Batista should enter the Royal Rumble, because he will win, and he'll go to WrestleMania XXI, and he'll win the title back to Evolution. Now they've got all their bases cover. Oh, he's gotta go talk to Bischoff.

Eric Bischoff is dealing with WIlliam Regal asking him for a chance to qualify for the Royal Rumble. He mentions that Regal was not loyal to Bischoff when he was asked to help him out with Eugene, so the Rumble spot the Born Naughty Ambassador wants so bad will instead go to Bischoff's buddy, Coach. The Playa is, obviously, elated at the honor, and he says he'll take care of the other business Bischoff wants him to handle. Then, La Resistance show up, asking for Rumble spots. Batista appears and accepts the qualifying match. Sylvan Grenier suddenly makes the mistake of a La Resistance vs. Batista match in which every piece of the winning corner is in. Bischoff starts to object, but Batista says he'll beat both of them. Robert Conway threatens to shove his Quebec flag up Batista's throat after La Resistance's victory. Batista said that after he wins, he's gonna stick that flag somewhere else. As Batista left office, Grenier started talking some incredulous French that you could know I can understand.

Next, Coach is out here to his Playa's Club music, mentioning a Royal Rumble qualifying match with Tajiri that has been changed to an over-the-top-rope challenge. The opponent is… yes. The Mohawk Knight, Viscera. And this one, ironically, is over in a flash, while its winner couldn't run around a rental car in the length of a Mon Gazza Speedway lap in Star Wars Episode 1 RACER run regularly without any boosters. The Deadly Night of Kane part of last week was shown. And next: La Resistance vs. Batista. Obviously a huge mistake.

Tajiri was wincing in the back, when he got interviewed by Maria. He still hadn't gotten his bearings straight, proven from the moment he started speaking completely in Japanese to her. William Regal showed up, looking for him to concoct an evil plan to get back at Eric Bischoff. He tried to hit on Maria while at it, asking if there was something she wanted to ask him before deciding he interview was over. She said not really. He made a comment, and she couldn't get a straight answer when she asked what it was that he said. He said it was just the start of something special, leaving with Tajiri, and leaving Little Miss Kanellis with a good laugh… yet again.

Then came Batista vs. La Resistance. This match, though the tag team had a mild period of control, was over from the get-go. Matter of fact, it was over from the moment Grenier took the time to make the idiotic mistake of trying to sing "O Canada" (and this is what made it an idiotic mistake) whilst Batista was already in the ring, since he had come out first! Decapitation to Conway, and a spine buster to Grenier, right on top of him. Both were pinned at once. Flair was supporting Batista the entire match. As Batista celebrated, he saw the Quebec flags and remembered his promise. Since tonight was a night which connected the name Evolution with the phrase "up your ass", he stuck one of the flags straight up a La Resistance ass! (to spare somebody's fan base, I'm not talking) Flair said that was impressive, and Trips said it was his turn to do something impressive.

And then… Muhammad Hassan, another mood killer. And he and Daivari are not even funny. Muhammad was facing Val Venis to qualify for the Royal Rumble. After Lilian Garcia introduced Venis second, Daivari took her microphone and chased her out with his Iranian crap, infuriating the lady-loving Big Valbowski, who was distracted by the conduct. Muhammad Hassan won with that facebuster of his, but Daivari is busy talking all match long. 30 English, 70 Iranian Crap. So I can't even go into details, he's just that annoying. Hassan then held Venis in that Camel Clutch move so Daivari could talk trash to him, and in both times Hassan's music killed, JR and King thought about the awful circumstance that it would be for WWE if only Hassan went on to win the Royal Rumble.

We go to Evolution, somehow a happier deal. Trips was coming back to the locker room. When he did so, he announced that Evolution did need to cover all its bases, and Batista was absolutely right. So, he reached Bischoff, and there was one spot left in the Royal Rumble. He'd convinced Bischoff to give it to Ric Flair, who went on to question the champ because all the attention is supposed to be about Randy Orton. Trips pointed out that Flair was at #30, and that if Batista were to somehow get eliminated, Flair would carry the torch for Evolution at WrestleMania.

In the ring was Maven, who said Bischoff allowed him to challenge anyone already qualified for the Royal Rumble to take their place. As he continued to punk out the Royal Rumble locker room, Kane appeared, and Maven saw that he was injured yet still tried to negotiate his way out of this. But, when Gene Snitsky came out in greater-battered condition, there was no chance. There was a triple threat match, and if Maven could beat either guy, that's who he'd replace. Unfortunately, his coward strategems didn't work, and the Virgin Opportunist (he's from Virginia, remember) got a Chokeslam to Hell from Kane, who covered him and hatched the ring fire with one arm!

We find out that Steve Austin has agreed to a three-picture deal with WWE films, and that's what he's talking about in a press conference and some talk show appearance with him and Vince McMahon. The Smackdown table announcers show its card, and note that the only two brand split Royal Rumbles (the past two) were won by Smackdown Superstars, so Raw's got some catching up to do. Jerry Lawler goes on to remind Tazz and Michael Cole that the last Smackdown Superstar who won, Chris Benoit, showed everyone what he thought of Smackdown and used his Winner's Option to leave for Raw and eventually become the World Heavyweight Champion by making Triple H tap out at WrestleMania XX, something that - if I correctly remember that final Smackdown point of Benoit's history - he could have never equaled with Smackdown's WWE Heavyweight Title.

Todd Grisham is standing by with Edge, and he takes us back to last week's awesome attack on Shawn Michaels, showing it and stating that some people would say Edge has been bitter since Taboo Tuesday. He told Todd to shut up, saying that he did change, but he became a realist. He feels the people don't appreciate that he's doing this here even after having missed two WrestleManias (thanks to the original Team Angle) with a broken neck that he suffered before No Way Out 2003. But that all could change, because on Sunday, he could win an opportunity to main event WrestleMania for a Heavyweight Championship on the night in which he beats Shawn Michaels, and nobody's going to stop him, whether it's Eddie Guerrero, John Cena, Batista, Shawn Michaels, Chris Jericho, Kurt Angle, Chris Benoit, Kane, or anybody else. He said that with an angry confidence. Randy Orton was seen coming out for the match against Ric Flair.

In the midst of the match, Randy Orton was tripped by Triple H, and the Game let Batista unwittingly take the fall and get ejected by the referee. The match eventually continued competitively, then went on that usual gaming imbalance, because when the referee got knocked down as always seems to happen in an Evolution main match, Trips helped Flair in an attempt to destroy Orton's knee before the Royal Rumble. The plan eventually came to the art of backfiring, as Orton ended up pinning Flair with an RKO and holding that World Championship high in the air as if it was his own again.

We start the chapter with the Chris Team.

"What an idiot, man," Jericho made the first comment. "I'm talking about Edge. I can't believe he thinks Michaels has been screwing him out of the World Heavyweight Title. What kind of crap is that?"

"I gotta admit, though. Michaels super-kicked him, and that's the only reason you got that Lion Tamer on him," Benoit responded to his blond-haired comrade.

"But didn't he Spear Shawn Michaels in that match before the incident? Did you suddenly forget about that?" Jericho pointed out.

"Referees are supposed to officiate. He kicked the guy," Benoit said.

"So you're defending Edge?" Jericho asked.

"No, I'm just saying Michaels isn't any more worthy of a defense," Benoit answered.

"Excuse me, but am I hearing some things being said about me that shouold be questionable coming from one of the guys I teamed up with tonight?" Shawn Michaels himself suddenly cuts into the conversation.

"What? I'm simply speaking my mind here, HBK," Benoit responded to the Showstoppper's intervention.

"Well, then. I can't stop you from doing that. Besides, you're a Canadian. And most Canadians seem to have this idea that I screwed Bret Hart and I deserve all the hate in the world for it," Michaels answered.

"Michaels, why the hell did you have to go there?" Jericho immediately noted. "You know damn well that I can't stand talking about what you did at November of 1997. I'm a loyal Canadian man, and Canada hates you for the events of that Survivor Series. I try to respect you beyond that, but stop bringing it up! Do you want me in your face?"

"To be honest with you, Chris, I've still got a little pent up frustration left over from our little six-man tag team encounter tonight. So, if you don't mind, I think I'll be happy to take a good part of it out on you," Michaels warned the Highlight of the Night.

"Do you remember, before WrestleMania XIX, what I told you about why I stopped wanting to become the next Shawn Michaels?" Jericho suddenly recalled. Michaels was clueless.

"What is it, because you felt that a man who pulled a supreme one over on a hero of your country didn't deserve to be your role model?" Shawn retorted obliviously.

"No, that has nothing to do with it! I didn't stop trying to emulate you because you screwed Bret Hart! I stopped trying to be the next Shawn Michaels because I knew that instead, I could be the first Chris Jericho!"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Kids, control yourselves a little bit here. I mean, come on. Chris, you look like you're about to kill somebody," Edge abruptly came into the conversation. What an inopportune time, huh?

"Yeah, thanks for your analysis, Toronto Sun Boy," Jericho commented.

"What do you think? I'm backing up this piece of crap?" Edge asked Jericho in reference to Shawn Michaels, who has a younger relative in Total Nonstop Action.

"Edge, get over yourself. I did not screw you!" Michaels yelled in Edge's ear. "The people voted for _me_ at Taboo Tuesday because they wanted to see _me_. I gave you that Sweet Chin Music in the elimination chamber because you Speared me!"

"And how did I Spear you, huh? How did I Spear you?" Edge spat back at Michaels.

"You know damn well you did, so stop activating your little psycho Canadian defense mechanisms on me," Shawn responded to the Artist of Awesomeness.

"You're a joke, Michaels. You are a joke. The answer to my question is **_by a complete accident!_**" Edge immediately yelled to the Showstopper.

"Then what was with that Con-chair'to last week between you and Christian?" Michaels asked Edge.

"Added retribution," Edge simply explained.

"You've gotta be joking," Michaels made his comment.

Elsewhere, we had a conversation taking place between William Regal and Val Venis, who are about to remember a partner in a World Tag Team Championship reign that one of them had to let the other take over.

"So, what was it like teaming up with Lance?" William asked Val.

"Oh, it was great. I got to explore my diplomacy side a little bit more. And, man, did I like teaming up with Eric Bischoff. You know, being at the top of the world, imposing any decision you want, knowing that you could do anything in the world without any objections that actually matter," Val recalled. "I doubt Coach is using these privileges either my way or the right way quite as much as he should."

"I'm talking about Lance Storm here for one second, because before my little stomach virus, I used to be Tag Team Championship partners with him," William said. "Wasn't he cool to actually hang around in the back?"

"Yeah, he was. One time, I remember us going back to the hotel after we defended our Tag Team Titles. But I told him to go ahead by himself since I still had office duty with Bischoff for the show, and I was going to try to pick up a girl along the way," Val told of history.

"Well, what happened?" Regal said.

"I found one, and as soon as I brought her into the room, he stood up and stopped reading the Raw magazine. She talked to the two of us, and he was standing there cool like he didn't care. But get this: when she finally got all over me, he tried to get a peek up her skirt," the Big Valbowski said remembering an incide

"Ha ha. You've got to be kidding me, he's just as naughty as I am! I wonder if he was born that way, though, like me," Regal mentioned.

"Yeah, but do you remember what happened before? Back when Molly had her hair, when we were both gone, and he was tired of bring boring?" Venis said.

"You mean to be talking about that moment when he had that face paint on him like Goldust, and he started talking to Molly in electrified, but it made some sexual reference and she slapped him square in the face?" Regal asked.

"Yeah, he was like, 'Goldy, it didn't work'," Val said, continuing that certain little flashback.

"But it did. You're not boring," Regal finished, sending the two of them into a laughter. Walking by them and holding their own conversation are Ric Flair and Triple H, suits and all.

"Listen to this one, Champ. Triple H, the World Heavyweight Champion, is in the middle of the club. The girls are lookin' for him, and he's lookin' for them. Now, alongside the Game is the legendary Nature Boy, Ric Flair, legendary both in the ring and in the sack. What this does is it forces people to play the Evolution music, and it causes a mass riot of WWE fan girl divas to come rollin' all over us, whatever the hell they're in, Trips. Whoo!" Ric boasted about the obvious near future.

"I appreciate the support here, Nache, but that's not what's gonna cut it. The WWE needs to realize my greatness outside the ring, which is why Stacy and Candace came into the equation earlier tonight. Besides, I know that this has got to be skinning in Randy Orton's mind. I mean, come on! Those are his girlfriends, for crying out loud! Oh, speaking of which, there's 'the great Captain Charisma', Christian. Hey, Christian! Come here a sec!" Trips eventually called to the Captain, who got up from his seat in the hallway and walked over to the Game and the Dirtiest Player in the Business.

"What the hell do you want?" Christian demanded Trips get this over with.

"Hey, don't come over here with that kinda tone to the champ, okay? What the hell was the big idea of gettin' in our way last week? We were making a point to Hurricane that I'm the only NC wrestler not to be a loser!" Flair questioned Christian.

"First of all, shut up. You are a loser. Second of all, you have no real charisma. You only get anything that looks like it by molesting divas. Thirdly, Helmsley, Lita is not a slut. If I wasn't right there to restrain Edge, or if Kane had also heard that, you probably wouldn't even be here tonight," Christian countered. "Now, back to my original question: what the hell do you want?"

"First of all, who do you think is the hottest girl we have here? Secondly, where can we find your little boy Tomko?" Trips asked Captain Charisma.

"The hottest girl here, I'd have to say, probably Maria," Christian answered the question.

"Oh, and Tomko's that way," he finished, pointing in Triple H's forward direction.

"Thanks a lot, chump," Trips said, shoving Christian's head back as he walked past him. It took all of the Peep Man's composure not to whack Trips with that Unprettier right now.

"He says it's Maria, eh?" Flair said, in a sort of evil manner.

"Perfect. She's in skirt tonight," Trips mentioned. "Hey, Tomko!"

"What happened?" Tyson yelled, noticing the Game coming his way.

"Hey, we just had a talk with your boss Christian. Had a good bit of banter, but what the hell. It's cool. By the way, who do you think is the hottest girl on Raw?" Trips asked Tomko.

"Victoria," Tomko stated a blunt opinion. "Yeah, I'd say she's the hottest one here."

"Really? Well, thanks a lot. That concludes our little survey,"

"Little survey? How many people did you ask?" Tyson requested the information.

"Uh, 10," Flair tentatively answered, backing off from Tomko. Trips followed suit. As they walked away, Christian came to the Problem Solver, who says the following:

"I don't trust them. Do you see what happened to Candie and Stace?"

With that, they look at each other and immediately realize something.

"Oh, crap!" Christian panicked, and the two of them immediately ran frantically, trying to find somebody that can help them out. Luckily, they run into the Artist of Awesomeness, Edge, down the hall, as he is finished with his little banter against Shawn Michaels.

"What the hell happened to you guys?" Edge asked them.

"Triple H and Ric Flair, that's what happened," Christian yelled in an obvious panic.

"You're running away from them?" Edge asked again.

"No, man, it's different. They asked us who we thought was the hottest Diva, and we answered. I told him it was Victoria," Tyson revealed the incident.

"And I said Maria," Christian finished.

"So?" Edge said, quizzical about how this could be a big issue.

"Didn't you see what happened earlier tonight with Stacy and Candace?" the King of Tattoo took his question in to Sparks Mineral.

"Crap, Captain! How could you let that happen to them?" Edge immediately chastised Christian.

"Well, I don't know, Sparks, but we've gotta do something!" Christian yelled.

"Hey, Christian. Each of us splits up and finds the girl we clued Triple H on. You, Edge, find and stop Evolution. Got it?" Tyson yelled.

"Let's go!" Chrisitan immediately yelled, splitting for the women's locker room, since both of them actually might be there. Tomko, realizing this, followed suit. Edge went in the direction Christian and Tomko came from so as to find the Evolutioners there. Unfortunately, he went into the parking lot, and they were still somewhere in our hallway.

Christian and Tomko got to the women's room, only to find Candace and Stacy going out and locking the door with their bags.

"Hey, we're looking for Maria and Victoria. We cluelessly clued in Triple H on them. Got any idea where they are?" Christian asked the girls, panting in the middle of the words."

"Uh, start over?" Stacy asked him.

"Maria and Victoria. We told Triple H they were the hottest girls on Raw, and we need to find them before they deal with the same thing as you two!" Tomko yelled.

"Well, I don't know where they are, and if _he_'s after them, I'd rather not care," Stacy answered him.

"Me neither, but Maria might be at the place where you get interviewed or something," Candace said. "And Victoria's always talking to Shawn Michaels, especially about his wife sometimes."

"Thanks for the tip," Christian said. "We've gotta go. See ya."

"Right."

Captain Charisma ran off, the Problem Solver trailing, but they then went into separate directions. At the interview spot, Maria was nowhere to be found. She was being dragged out in the direction further from Christian. Triple H had gotten this information and already found her.

"Hey, let go of me!" Maria yelled.

"William Regal didn't get the job done as far as gettin' in your pants, Maria. But I just realized something: you have no pants. Which makes things real easy, doesn't it, Nache?" Trips said, dragging her. With that, he brushed her against him, and she tried to push off, but Flair got in the way, and Trips' grip was tight. Flair then lifted her so the Game could hold her in his arms, and stopped her from fighting off.

"Maria, resistance is futile. It will only get you injured. Besides, I know you like bein' in Triple H's strong arms. Right?" Flair yelled, practically imposing his will upon her. The talking distracted her from the fact that the hand on Maria's legs was stroking its way inside the, uh… maybe you already know the last word, and I shouldn't say it, so I won't.

"Drop the girl, Helmsley," Edge and Christian both said, one from in front of Triple H, and the other from his side. The harsh reality had come to Flair and Triple H: they'd been found out. Maria took the opportunity to kick her way off, and she wound up falling down and quickly collecting herself. Flair moved to try and stop her, but couldn't really get any motion in when he realized that Edge and Christian were right there and saw him. Maria took the shot to exit past Edge.

"This is conduct exemplary of our World Heavyweight Champion," Edge said, shaking his head. "This is exactly what Jerry Lawler said when Randy Orton stopped you with Stacy earlier tonight."

"A shame I have an ex-girlfriend that hangs out with you," Christian said, referring to Trish. "What, do you molest her like this every day? Or are you just high and angry because she's not here?"

"Christian, you'd better keep your mouth shut," Flair threatened him. "You'd better keep your mouth shut, kid, or else!"

"Or else what? You're gonna beat us to the end of our careers? Do it. You're gonna be stripped of your Championship, and Batista will be open to take it. And I don't think that bodes well for any of us here, does it?" Edge played with Evolution's heads.

"Is this the impact Trish Stratus has on you? Because if it is, I think I'll have Tomko kidnap her and keep her for himself, and show her exactly what you just did to Stacy, Candace, and Maria," Christian taunted the Evolutioners.

"You'll have Tomko do this, you'll have Tomko do that, let me tell you, Christian. You have Tyson Tomko do anything and everything for you," Trips suddenly took advantage of what Christian just said.

"He's one of my loyal Peeps. I stand for him, he stands for me. Same case with Edge, plus I'm one of his Edgeheads because of this, too," Christian countered.

"I'm gettin' the hell outta here. Nobody has to deal with this," Trips said, walkeding away past Edge. Flair tried to follow suit, only to receive the Spear!

"Hey, Hunter! Your old man just got Speared, and if you try to hit on another girl like that again tonight, it's gonna be you taking an Unprettier!" Christian threatened him, taking his attention. The Awesomeness partners then ran away as Trips angrily came to check on his "old man".


	8. Mr Copeland Finally Gets His Day

Disclaimer: This is unassociated with any of my other stories, and I do not own any of the members of this story. I simply write this story due to my interest in Raw, especially with the superstars crucially in my dialogue.

Pairings: Some references of Edge/Lita and to Kane/Lita, small shade to RKO/Stacy, no JH pairing in mind as it is now.

Rating Info: This story is rated PG-13.

**_The Stones of Raw_** by **Prime Time, Legend Champion**

Chapter 8: Mr. Copeland Finally Gets His Day

Following 1/31/05 episode of Raw

HP Pavilion in San Jose, California

Triple H, who defended his World Heavyweight Championship successfully last night against Randy Orton, came out with Ric Flair, who made a speech which basically mentioned that he used to be the greatest, no doubt, then Shawn Michaels came about with the word "arguably", and then a man came and destroyed that word. That man is his friend, the greatest champion of all time (according to RF), Triple H. The Game then took the microphone and said, "So much for destiny, Randy Orton. I control destiny in this business." And then, he went on to say that he could talk about his own greatness, but that he'd rather mention the greatness of a dominant man, Batista, winning the Royal Rumble. Batista came out to hear the Game talk all sorts of talk about how honored he is to be defending the World Heavyweight Title against the Big Dave at WrestleMania XXI. He called WrestleMania Evolution's night. All of a sudden, when Batista was speaking, footage of John Bradshaw Layfield being interviewed about Batista came up, and JBL was talking all sorts of crap about how he is a wrestling god, and how Batista is not even in his league. Triple H immediately retaliated, saying that Batista was going to defend the title against Triple H, and the Game is the only god of wrestling around these parts. Two names that the Cerebral Assassin referred to the Cowboy Cheater as are Jack and Foghorn Leghorn. Nobody is going to ruin Evolution's night, according to Trips, who walked to the back, angry, with Evolution.

The next thing you know, after Shelton Benjamin defends his Intercontinental Championship against Simon Dean and comes back to beat the crap out of him for saying the only reason Shelton won is because of the Simon System, Trips is in Eric Bischoff's office, ordering him to tell who came up with the idea of showing the Layfield footage (though Eric didn't know), and saying that if the GM was working on a backstage deal, Triple H would ruin his life. Bischoff commented that he didn't respond well to threats, and then Trips warned him that he is the World Heavyweight Champion, and that he calls the shots. You could hear Eric saying that we'll see about that when Trips leaves the room.

Next, Christy Hemme is in a beautiful outfit, shooting out WrestleMania XXI T-shirts. Edge suddenly comes out, infuriated, talking about how he beat Shawn Michaels, and he lasted the longest in the Rumble match, and he eliminated five men, but he didn't win the Rumble match. He said Christy was trying to rub it in and embarrass him, and that he had no problem embarrassing her. Shawn Michaels suddenly interrupted the festivities by complaining about Kurt Angle coming back after being eliminated to remove Shawn Michaels from the Rumble and put him in an Ankle Lock, having to admit that Edge got one by him, and (first) having to switch microphones in the middle of his TV time, which he just had to do. He then challenged Edge for a rematch, though he knew he had a tag team match with Randy Orton against Ric Flair and Triple H. Edge said no, claiming he was done with Shawn after having beaten him last night. He then reminded Michaels that he promised to shake Edge's hand if the Artist of Awesomeness won the match, which he did. In both mentioned senses of the last three words. Edge, though, made a mistake by starting to tell Shawn to get the hell out of his ring. He got superkicked before the last word could come out.

Later, Candace and Maria talked about JBL's claims that Batista is out of his league, being completely uphauled. They were headed towards the women's locker room, and a very battered-looking Gene Snitsky suddenly showed up from inside, saying he was looking for somebody. Candace tentatively said that the person wasn't in there, and the obviously dazed Snitsky simply said nice shoes and left rather than making them suffer beyond the common fear of looking at him.

Maven defeated The Hurricane in a one on one match. Eric Bischoff was later shown in the office, asking Coach to clarify that he didn't know anything about the tape. Then, behind the Raw General Manager was the Smackdown GM, Theodore Long, who simply boasted about the possibilities of Batista going into a match at WrestleMania for the WWE Title. He said that Batista is Smackdown bound, and that taking him from Raw is his exact intention. But the ironic statement: Long had nothing to do with the footage. Weird, huh? That's why Bischoff didn't believe a word of that part. Anyway, Chris Jericho and Chris Benoit prepared for a match against La Resistance for the World Tag Team Championships. Eventually, a double disqualification kept the title in La Resistance's hands because Mike Chioda lost control of the match.

Footage of a new wrestler showed up for the fourth week in a row, but the first I'm mentioning it in. His name is Chris Masters, and he is the Masterpiece. Muhammad Hassan and Daivari then complained about everyone ganging up on Hassan to eliminate him from the Royal Rumble, saying that that is how America has treated him and all his Arab brothers. He then challenged any American who disagrees with him, and the man turned out to be Sergeant Slaughter himself! The Sarge was bad-mouthed by Daivari in Iranian crap, but didn't take it too much. Hassan eventually forced the G.I. Marine to give up to the Camel Clutch. Benoit and Jericho argued in the back about not seeing their best in that World Tag Team Title match.

Later on, we saw a WrestleMania commercial involving Eugene accidentally punching the lights out of a black woman while talking to her about past WrestleMania events. Inside the Evolution locker room, Trips decided that maybe he should let Batista go to Smackdown and face JBL, because if Trips and Batista were the two Heavyweight Champions, that meant Evolution had control over the entire industry, unlike the Kings of Wrestling at TNA, who promised to do exactly that but no longer exist as a three-man unit.

When we came back again, Eric Bischoff came out and announced that next week's event in Tokyo, Japan was going to have three matches. First, the Chris Team members were facing one another in a submission match. Second, William Regal and hometown boy Tajiri were going to face La Resistance for the World Tag Team Championships, since Regal used his rematch clause. Thirdly, the World Heavyweight Championship of Triple H, just to show him who really calls the shots, will be defended against Sparks Mineral himself, Edge. Then came the entrances. We came back from commercial break to hear the Evolution music, which goes by the titles of "Passing You By" and "Line in the Sand", for the first time in a million years. The match began, basically Batista just being cool, and Evolution having control. But when Orton and Michaels took advantage, Batista eventually was pissed by the Evolution enemies, and then went to get a steel chair and go into the ring, taking the opportunity to try getting into the ring to assault Shawn and Randy. I believe somewhere during the show, Randy was talking to Stacy, who showed concern about him entering the ring tonight. But, he wanted to show Ric Flair and Triple H that he was still the Legend Killer. Anyway, Batista was eventually ejected, and he got angry and blew off steam, almost like Ric Flair's hissy fits. As Batista was walking away, and being waved off by his former best friend, he actually smirked. For what, we don't know.

The match continued on, and Stacy's concerns were proven to be placed in the right place when Ric Flair stopped an assault by Randy Orton on the champ by diving onto him and the referee. Orton eventually countered an assault by giving him an RKO, but the Legend Champion landed on the back of his head, aggravating one of two abnormal conditions that were affecting him. That was a concussion. He had a faraway look in his eyes, and Triple H was going to give him a Pedigree when Michaels all of a sudden issued Sweet Chin Music, and Edge came up to go for the Spear. The Vanilla Scorch Cake wound up hitting Trips, though he clearly aimed for a sidestepping Michaels. However, before HBK shoved him out of the way, he showed a small smirk. Anyway, Orton had enough in him to cover Trips for the pinfall victory, and defeated Evolution. The Heartbreak Kid showed much concern towards the fallen 24-year-old warrior, helping him get up and walk to the back. I'm sure you Edge-and-Orton-lovin' ladies out there have a newfound respect for Shawn Michaels.

Then followed a steel cage match between (again) Kane and Gene Snitsky. Last night, Kane's brother The Undertaker faced off in a Casket Match against "Narcotic Psycho" Gene Snitsky's equally psychotic friend, Heidenreich. Prior to the match, Snitsky and Heidenreich had had a discussion about how neither likes caskets, and how Snitsky has a plan for the match. Snitsky came out and apparently showed off that the plan was a double team assault on the Dead Man. However, when they called for the casket to be opened, Kane suddenly got out of the coffin and sat up, proving that perhaps Undertaker overheard or saw this coming and enlisted the aid of his brother before coming out. Of course, Kane hit both men, took Snitsky out of the picture, and allowed the match to take its one-on-one course, which is Undertaker's victory, and Heidenreich's entombment. Anyway, in the middle of tonight's cage match, Kane suddenly took control and was about to escape when the beautiful yet trashy Trish Stratus came out, neck brace and all, and tried to screw Kane out of the match by closing the door in his face. She failed to remember, however, that her womanly strength was not going to be impactful enough, unlike Batista or Triple H. Uh, they're big powerful men, she's a 125-pound young blonde girl. There's a colossal difference. This led to her almost being Chokeslammed to Hell yet again, as Snitsky booted Kane's skull and got Trish out before that could happen. He then tore off the cage door and intended to use it on Kane, but the plan was executed the other way around, and the nether regions of the Narcotic Psycho were victimized. Kane eventually got the Chokeslam to Hell for a victory. His red lights dominated as the show left air.

A proud man was standing in the hallway, looking up at the ceiling. He knew that in seven days, he would soon have the opportunity to accomplish the greatness of Hulkamania, RKO, and The Rock. His time would come, as in the Orient, he would overcome a villain whose favor the scales were always tipped in when the time was right. The proud man was Adam Copeland, better known to the world of wrestling as Edge.

"Hey, Edge," Tyson Tomko suddenly interrupted his visulalizations from behind.

"Huh? Oh, it's you Tyson, how many times have I told you not to sneak up on me like that? And Christian, too!" Edge said

"What? Can't a guy have a little fun here?"

"No! You can't have a little fun, because a little fun is just too little! I will beat Triple H next week and become World Heavyweight Champion. And that is why you can have an eternity of fun when we get to Japan!" Edge noted to his comrades.

"I don't know how smart it was of Trish, though. She shows up, and then tries to screw Kane out of that cage match," Tomko mentioned.

"Yes, she showed some great guts, but you've gotta admit, that was an impossible situation," Christian pointed out. "She did get choked and slammed by Kane before for saying crap about Lita."

"And I could Spear her for it right now if I ever so wished it. Hell, your comment would have provoked me to Spear Trish had I still been angry about the Royal Rumble," Edge said.

"Sheesh, do you get angry after every Pay-Per-View?" a familiar female voice interrupted Edge.

"Trish. I should've know you'd butt your head into this conversation," Tyson commented.

"Shut up, Tomko, I used to own you," Trish said. "Anyway, don't fancy yourself with the illusion that you're gonna win the World Title in Tokyo. You will never become the World Heavyweight Champion."

"What the hell are you talking about? I Speared Triple H and caused him to get beat, and I could sure as hell do it again, except this time, _I_ pin him, I'm in good condition, and I become the World Heavyweight Champion! What could you do? Defend your girl title? Not in a million years," Edge commented to Trish, who simply looked shocked, before starting to laugh and grin.

"Now, first of all, Edge, let me bring something to your attention. First of all, at least I'm a Champion, and you're not. In fact, none of you are. Secondly, do you even realize that Triple H could eat you alive? He won against Randy Orton last night, _without_ the company of Evolution," Trish said.

"That's because RKO isn't good enough!" Edge commented.

"Oh, and you are, Mr. Angry Neanderthal? Oh, and why didn't you embarrass Christy Hemme like you said you would? She's the slut of Raw. All she ever does is run around in her underwear," Trish disrespected the newest Raw Diva to earn the job.

"Hey, her match record is 2-1, so watch yourself, kid. Besides, aren't you the one who got showered with mud in public, distracted people for your tag team to win matches back in 2000, and was forced by Vince McMahon to get down on your knees, turn people on, and bark like a dog, whilst Edge and I continued our dynasty of awesomeness?" Christian countered Trish.

"Shut up! I could beat you right now if only I had a knife!" Trish threatened him wildly.

"I would have Speared you before you could even-"

"Before she could even what, Edge?" Triple H suddenly showed up. "Hey, Trishie, how are ya?"

"Just fine, Triple H. I was doing just fine. Until I had to bump into these idiots," Trish proudly said.

"And I wonder how they could have ruined your great time tonight," Ric Flair sarcastized.

"Well, if it isn't Trish's knights in shady armor," Christian acknowledged the two Evolutioners.

"I can kill you. Do you even get what I'm talking about?" Flair cut in.

"What?" Christian asked, curious as to what the Nature Boy could be talking about.

"If I get in that Figure Four leg lock on you, kid, I guarantee you, I will have you tapping out! You're gonna holler, scream, and bleed all night long, kid. And I am a legend at making virgins do this, whether in the ring, or in the sack!" Ric reminded Christian, as well as Edge and Tomko, as apparent because he got in each of their faces in the middle of this shout.

"Gonna admit it, Ric. You've got a great track record," Tyson respected the Dirtiest Player in the Business.

"At least one of you idiots knows enough to say that to the Nature Boy. Who said the big guy was the one only good for following orders?" Trips said, promoting Tomko above the other two in this one moment.

"But, Trips, that doesn't mean I don't know he's kissin' your ass," Tomko made clear to the Game.

"Tomko, who asked you to talk? Better yet, who the hell are you to talk? You kiss Christian's ass every day, and you know it!" Trips countered the Problem Solver.

"I think I've gotta go right about now, but a small word of advice, pal: look out for my Spear," Edge warned Triple H before leaving. Christian and Tomko followed, leaving the Game seething.

"Hey, guys, can you believe him? No, I'm being dead serious! Can you believe that guy? He brings his damn lackeys over here and talks all sorts of crap to us, and then he thinks that he is great, that he will become the World Heavyweight Champion next week on Raw. He's never wrestled for that World Title before, and I've held it ten times!" Trips then proceeded to rant and rave.

"Hey, hey, champ! Calm down!" Flair attempted to soothe him.

"Trips, just slow down a little bit," Trish recommended.

"Calm down? Slow down? Is that anything to say to me? I am angry right now! Edge thinks he can slam us in the face after he knows damn well he Speared me to screw me out of that match!"

"Hey, shut up!" Batista screamed to the Champion, appearing unexpectedly. This froze Triple H, as he was just told to shut up by a member of Evolution.

"Why the hell would you want me to shut up?" Trips demanded Batista's response.

"Because with every word, you're sounding less like Hunter Hearst Helmsley and more like Adam Copeland," Batista surely but painfully responded. Trips looked at Batista with an angry frown.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, champ, calm down. I think Batista might just be right here. You're Triple H, the World Heavyweight Champion. You can stand through anything because you are the Game! You're the ultimate god in this business. It's like you said before, that sign that said 'Triple H Is God' might as well be true, you're just that damn good in this business that you might as well be!" Flair sedated the Champion. "Your name is Hunter Hearst Helmsley. You are Triple H, the leader of the former Degeneration X, the McMahon-Helmsley Faction of 2000, and now Evolution, the unit that - because you're the World's Champion and Batista here can go to Smackdown and become the WWE Champion if he so decides it to be - can control this business! You have won the World Heavyweight Championship ten times, and the only man to have ever done that as many times is me! And I did it sixteen times, champ! But because your days are harder and more competitive, ten in your time could equal twenty in my time. You are the greatest Heavyweight Champion of all time, Triple H. Something that punks like Edge and Randy Orton and Christian will never be. So, why don't you stop complaining about an idiot like Edge and start gettin' back to bein' the living legend that makes the ladies scream when and wherever they see you?"

"Heh. You make a perfect promotion agent, Nache. And yes, I am the greatest of all time," Trips responded with a smirk on his face. "Is Evolution ready to make a splash at the nearest nightclub?"

In the meantime, there was Shawn Michaels, standing by with Stacy Keibler in the medical room, where Randy Orton was being checked over by nurses.

"Stace, he's a warrior. You picked a good man to love," Shawn acknowledged the facts.

"Thanks, Shawn. It's awfully sportsmanlike of you to say that, though," Stacy recognized.

"Hey. If you think I plan on takin' your heart and breakin' it, I could've easily done that if I wanted to. Quote my former best friend, unfortunately, 'I am that damn good.' But first of all, I know what respect is like, and I cherish it more than objectification. Secondly, he's your man, and like I said before, he's a warrior. Thirdly, I have a wife at home, missy," Shawn said in a sort of showman's manner.

"My man? I just recently started talking to him," Stacy defended herself.

"Hey, nobody knows romance like somebody who heartbreaks for a living," Michaels explained.

"Believe what you will, Shawn. He's just my friend."

"For now. But I know you love him."

"No, you don't."

"Believe me."

Elsewhere, there was a discussion between Christy Hemme, Candace Michelle, and Maria Kanellis.

"Chris, are you sure you're okay? I mean, Edge did come in your face and say he had no problem embarrassing you," Maris asked Christy. "He was seriously about to hurt you."

"Oh, that's just him venting out frustration. It's only dangerous for the moment," Christy soothed her friends' concerned. "I just wonder how Eugene is doing at home, especially after what we heard. You know, that William Regal and Tajiri are going for La Resistance's World Tag Team Titles."

"I'm sure he's ecstatic. We don't have that to worry about," Candace said. "But can you believe Hunter?"

"Oh, the skirt thing last week. He tried me, too. But then Edge and Christian showed up like the awesome tag team they are and, well… you know," Maria said.

"Saved you?" Christy guessed the finish to that sentence.

"Yeah," Maria confirmed the correct conclusion.

"I just don't understand how they hate Shawn Michaels so much," Candace said.

"Hey, ladies. It doesn't matter how much Edge and Christian love you guys and hate Shawn Michaels," Maven suddenly interrupted their conversation.

"Huh? Oh, Maven. Well, why is that?" Christy asked him.

"Because you're looking at a man who should be the Intercontinental Champion on his way to ascending to the World Heavyweight Title. Unfortunately, Eric Bischoff hasn't given me enough respect to recognize that fact," Maven complained, as would be guessed.

"I see you're in a complaining mood tonight," Christy noted about Maven.

"No, I'm not. As a matter of fact, at this point in time, I don't care so much about what I just said as I do about admiring the beauty in front of me right now. You three, unlike what Simon Dean thinks, are awesome, both on the inside, and out. So, I'm confident that you'll allow me to take the three of you out tonight, and whether I take Edge and Christian along on this ride is, of course, your decision," Maven offered the rookie Divas.

"Well, Maven, I'm sorry. But, we'll have to decline that offer. You see, we do want to go out, and a triple date with you, Edge, and Christian would be a great idea, but unfortunately, I think they shouldn't be bothered on that term, since they both have run out of active girlfriends in such a short period of time," Maria pointed out to the Virgin Opportunist, a nickname that is appropriate for this occasion and for something other than this referring to Maven.

"Yeah, and besides, I don't think we'd like to take our chances with all three of us being with you. I mean, what if you start getting all… Evolution on us, you know?"

"I know exactly what you mean, and I assure you, I will find-"

"Find another two dates for these lovely ladies? Well, half of your job is complete," Val Venis said, suddenly appearing and causing Maven to stare at him.

"And the other half is right here," Shelton Benjamin interrupted the proceedings, once again prompting Maven to glance unfavorably towards a new entry within the conversation. As soon as he looked at the ladies, however, and saw their favoring expressions, he decided the following:

"Not exactly my favorite comrades to take beautiful girls out on a triple date, but I suppose for once, these two will do," Maven confirmed, much to the relief or elation of everyone in the area. The only trouble: who's with who? Ah, well. That would figure itself out soon enough, and besides; the main concern of everyone here is having a lot of fun.


	9. The Guilt of Captain Christian

Disclaimer: This is unassociated with any of my other stories, and I do not own any of the members of this story. I simply write this story due to my interest in Raw, especially with the superstars crucially in my dialogue.

Pairings: Some references of Edge/Lita and Kane/Lita, a bit of RKO/Stacy.

Rating Info: This story is rated PG-13.

**_The Stones of Raw_** by **Prime Time, Legend Champion**

Chapter 9: The Guilt of Captain Christian

Following 2/7/05 episode of Raw

Saitama Super Arena in Tokyo, Japan

Raw began with the entry of Eric Bischoff, who gave himself a very pompous introduction and wound up getting booed. He had a translator with him. Though he wound up getting cheers for promoting the fact that this was in Japan, and for the fact that (newly in) Shawn Michaels was facing Ric Flair tonight, Edge was facing Triple H for the World Heavyweight Championship, and the Chris Team partners (Benoit and Jericho) were facing off in a submission match, the translator looked like Akio and was jeered through the entire announcement. Thank God he didn't speak the submission match, and the Chris Team Submission Match was starting up immediately. When they first met up one-on-one in the ring in 1995, it was in this same city in Tokyo, Japan. Of course, they got in each other's faces immediately. The rival friends started out feeling each other out and getting in each other's faces, as a couple of smart wrestlers in a competitive and awesome one-on-one match usually do. Where they trained, the Dungeon of the legendary Hitman's father, submission was the way to survive. Many years ago, both competed in Japan on a regular basis, including that match in Tokyo. The match was immediately competitive as these facts were revealed by Jim Ross. These two guys have wrestled together and against each other countlessly, so there was nothing less to expect. In fact, the reason they were against each other tonight was because last week, they were on each other's side, but they didn't succeed. Not winning the World Tag Team Championships against La Resistance, both the Crippler and the King of the World thought they weren't seeing the best out of each other like they usually do, so they got in one another's faces starting then.

When we came back from the break, Benoit started having control, but Jericho started to battle back, only to take a German suplex. Benoit was put into a submission, but got out of it to get in the Multiple German Suplex, but before #3 could come, a drop toe hold counter was placed in by the Ayatollah. Benoit fought to get the Sharpshooter on Jericho, but it didn't work. Again with the Multiple German Suplex, and the effort from both men was respected highly by the Japanese rich with wrestling history etched in their brains, especially about the Rabid Wolverine and the Highlight of the Night. The first of the main submissions to be hooked was Benoit's Crippler Crossface, applied to Jericho too close to the ropes. Y2J eventually moved and inched to reach the bottom rope. Benoit, like an honorable man, lets go, but eventually, it becomes Crossface appliance 2/2, and Walls of Jericho appliance 0/2. Jericho taps out and lets Benoit win the match. You can't withstand the Crossface too many times, and in Jericho's case, two is too much. The Rabid Wolverine got the respect of the Japanese folks and of Jericho, who extended his hands towards his rival and friend, Christopher Michael Benoit. An All-American Diva Fashion Show featuring Christy Hemme, Maria, and Victoria was coming tonight, and so was the World Title match between the Cerebral Assassin and the valiant challenger, the Artist of Awesomeness.

After a display of some fans in Japan, we saw Ric Flair and Triple H. Flair is obviously bragging about how some women are all over them because Evolution is in the area, and how Batista, Trips, and Nache will all win their matches. Trips stands up and mentions the Batista issue, proving that he is clearly unsure of whether Evolution's night of WrestleMania, or Evolution's dominion of the wrestling world. Flair ushers his thoughts straight towards the latter, claiming that it's the greatest idea of all time.

Christian is bragging to somebody about himself as he enters the arena, and then Stacy Keibler is seen. Christian tries to get the guy to ask Stacy some questions about Captain Charisma, but the first question is about interviewing Randy Orton. This ticks off the Peep Man, setting off some interesting dialogue about the Legend Killer. Here are the results.

a) Orton has never beaten Christian, so he's no legend killer.

b) He does the champion's gesture a little bit too much.

c) He's one head shot from the end of his career.

d from Stacy) Randy Orton could totally kick Christian's butt.

This leads to Christian talking about a plan to make the first page as it relates to Randy Orton. The plan will involve Christian backing up Tyson Tomko, who will challenge the Man of Destiny.

Maven came into the ring and started saying that everybody asked why he wasn't in the Royal Rumble. He's bragging that he would have won if he were in it and he would have thrown the winner, his next opponent, Batista, over the top rope. The Leviathan didn't continue to listen to the crap. Rather, he interrupted to show off himself. The Virgin Opportunist should learn to take the opportunity to save himself rather than to die. Maven jumped the gun, but he quickly took a Batista Bomb, and the 1, 2, 3 pinfall. Maybe next time, he'll stop talking about himself and his own clearly imagined greatness too much. All he can beat Batista in is a pimping competition, and this ego's even taking that down.

This author here is wondering whether anybody can beat the Capital Destroyer in the ring, when all of a sudden, footage of an interview that The Big Show had taken on Smackdown with Josh Mathews as it relates to Batista was replayed. Like last week's notice, Batista didn't take this one as a friendly invitation to WrestleMania. Somebody's trying to lure the Leviathan over to Smackdown. Just who, though?

Batista talked with Eric Bischoff about the Smackdown footage that's been showing up, and he's really pissed off. But Bischoff said he's getting to the bottom of that, but he's promoting Raw and the guaranteed WrestleMania match he gets by staying here in the Leviathan's face. Batista gets the point, and I personally agree with the part where Eric says that Raw is the premier show in sports entertainment.

La Resistance comes out for their World Tag Team Championship defense against William Regal and Tajiri, who were friends since the Alliance days for a short while, but finally are actually tag teaming, and for the gold. When Regal and Tajiri came out, they were given a standing ovation, and Tajiri was chanted for by millions of people. Either the STF or Regal Stretch was used in the middle of the match, but immediately broken up. When Tajiri was tagged in, he was on fire. The first cover was kicked out of, but he eventually got the Enzuguri on Sylvan Grenier, but Robert Conway broke up the pin, and Tajiri was double teamed, only to take great advantage. Sly got in a chop, only to receive a Tarantula broken up by Robert Conway. He then used Kabuki's Poisonous Mist, and the Buzzsaw Kick on Grenier to become World Tag Team Champions. What a homecoming party for Regal and Tajiri. Tajiri said some things in Japanese, and only his people understood and loved it. His former friend, William Regal, allied with him once more, and it led to the Super Bowl-like moment for the Japanese Buzzsaw, Yoshihiro Tajiri, as he finally became a champion on Raw in front of his hometown fans. Eugene is probably smiling in the middle of his home. Shawn Michaels will face Ric Flair next.

When we came back, we saw the only American-born sumo champion, one of the grestest sumo wrestlers of all time, and a barrel of Hall of Fame inductees for 2005, including "Cowboy" Bob Orton, the man who is father to Randy Orton but probably gave The Undertaker his hat over the course of the graveyard session from Survivor Series 2003 to WrestleMania XX. The icon vs. icon match between Ric Flair and Shawn Michaels saw each man enter the area to great cheers, and the match was a highly respected one. Flair started with the advantage, and Michaels eventually got out of the chops corner to but the Nature Boy in it. Shawn took Flair to the outside. The action was instantly brutal between the Dirtiest Player in the Business and the Heartbreak Kid. Two back drops from Michaels to Flair, and two eye thumbs the other way almost instantly. With the second thumb to the eye, Ric Flair took small contol, but Michaels eventually punched out Flair into that vintage flop. The Nature Boy, with a chop block from behind which would penalize him 15 yards in last night's Super Bowl between the Eagles and the reigning champion Patriots, started wooing and eventually got in the Figure Four leg lock, but Michaels tipped him over and transferred the pressure. Flair was controlling Michaels until an Enzuguri by HBK, evening things up. He eventually did the nip-up and is building momentum. He eventually got his vintage diving elbow, and then prepped himself - and the crowd - up for Sweet Chin Music. He then hooked the superkick on Ric Flair and won the match via pinfall. I wonder why it's called Sweet Chin Music. That kick is chin music, but it's hardly anything sweet. Next is the All-American Diva Fashion Show with Victoria, Christy, and Maria.

We return to Jerry Lawler's music, and the King is just about ready to present the All-American Diva Fashion Show. Maria came out first, wearing a black outfit. Then, Victoria appeared, with another black outfit, this one with a cowboy hat (different from B.O. and Taker's), and the short tights with the noticeable hole in there. King was beginning to explain the rules of the fashion show, when Simon Dean cut into this to promote his Simon System and disrespect the Japanese fans, when Akebono (the American sumo champion) began to come out. Simon calmed him down, then began to diss the WWE Divas, when King took an objection and made a comment. Simon then turned towards _him_ with the promotion via degradation, only to take a low blow from Christy. Oh, Simon, my friend. If you learn to respect people more, your taste loss system would be selling a lot more. But, hey. What the hell? I believe in you. (j/k)

Evolution again. Trips need to talk to Batista. He tells Batista that the Smackdown guys are laughing at him, and he and Flair put pictures of the "we own the industry" plan into the Leviathan, even calling it greater than Triple H's Degeneration X and Ric Flair's Four Horsemen. Naturally, the Big Dave says he'll think about it.

Edge gets interviewed by Jonathan Coachman about getting his shot at the World Heavyweight Championship. The Original AC immediately gets on with another complaint, that he's been overlooked for Batista's show-choosing scandal and Triple H's Scottish commercial about defending the Title at WrestleMania. But, Edge mentions that Michaels overlooked him and look what happened to him. Edge screwed Michaels out of a match against Edge prior to the Royal Rumble itself. So, Edge is gonna take advantage of this and become World Heavyweight Champion.

Randy Orton, who we just saw footage of being purely loved by the Japanese fans - especially women - comes out for a match against the Problem Solver, Tyson Tomko. The King of Tattoo came out without the Show Stealer tonight. In the middle of the match, however, Christian himself unexpectedly appears and is dragging Stacy Keibler down the aisle by the arm, distracting Randy Orton for Tyson Tomko to take advantage and ram him straight into the steel steps. The plan is apparently to get into Orton's head so as to kill it. Tyson is taking advantage, and at one point, Orton unwittingly keeps holding onto Tomko's tights until his hand gets jerked off. But, almost instantly afterwards, Randy is coming back. He is soon clubbing Tyson across the chest. 20 punches, and Orton is staggering. He's constantly risking himself with moves in the middle of that matchup. Orton actually got the roll-up without the necessity of an RKO. Christian hits him in the middle of the mild celebration. Christian is apparently angry because Randy Orton took his attention with Stacy tonight. Christian got in the Unprettier on Orton, then as his music came on, Stacy looked horrified, and Jim Ross made the eerily suggestive comment (no, not sexually suggestive) that Christian gloated like he just won the World Title. And you do know who could go on to do exactly that, right?

During the break, Randy Orton was attended to by EMTs and officials, along with Stacy Keibler. He couldn't even stand up by himself, he was in such bad condiiton. This old Oklahoma guy at the table, though, keeps on dissing the living crap out of Captain Charisma like he's nothing but an evil man, when there may be some legitimacy to his assault!

Anyway, after they start showing off the Tajiri celebration, Edge finally comes out to make his way to the ring, followed by Triple H, for the World Heavyweight Championship match tonight. The great "we own the business" plan and the Scottish Helmsley commercial all mean nothing if Triple H cannot stay the World Heavyweight Champion. Looking at Edge, you can tell he wants this. Triple H was the first guy as far as attacks and speed goes, but the advantage in speed should go to Edge. We got to the break noticing that Edge's spearing shoulder was taking excessive pain. The Artist of Awesomeness, however, has control after the Game twerked his back getting thrown to the outside, and got suplexed on the black, barely protected concrete during the break. This even brawl of a match was highly respectable to this point. Edge once hooked a missile dropkick on Triple H so as to get a two count, as Trips did afterwards by copying that Arn Anderson spine buster. With the Edge-O-Matic, Edge tried to get the cover on Trips, but only grabbed one leg. If he had actually gotten both, it could have been over. Trips went for a Pedigree, but was countered into a back body drop. Edge tried to go for the spear, only to run into a high knee. It's not over. I think Edge has that Krispy Kreme look in his eye just like Orton has lately. Edge has perfected his Edgecator submission maneuver lately, and Trips is desperately reaching for the bottom rope as he is taking it. He gets to the ropes, and Edge winds up Spearing the referee. Flair gets Speared for bringing a steel chair. Edge now picks up the weapon. He plans to use it on the Cerebral Assassin, who avoids the contact and gets him in a backdrop suplex. Both men are down and looking for the steel chair so as to pummel the other guy, when Batista takes it away. Edge is looking at him incredulously, and so is Triple H. But, Edge goes to the apron, so Trips knocks him into Batista. Trips later goes for the Pedigree, but gets countered by a DDT from Edge. Edge is prepared to deliver a Spear, but Batista comes in with a spine buster. The two men are slow to get up, as is our official, and Trips gets the Pedigree in on Edge. He gets the cover, and this is when Chioda gets up. 1, 2, 3, the Game dodges another bullet because of Batista. However, as the Game gets his hand raised by Batista, they both end up touching that gold that Evolution just retained. They're looking at each other, and that's how the show goes off. Oh, and by the way, Edge's counter DDT: Edgecution. Don't forget that, people.

As Edge walked down the hall of the Saitama Super Arena so as to head to his own locker room, he held his hands above his hair in absolute frustration. Suddenly, he saw his friends, Tyson Tomko and Christian, practically sullen in the hallway. Edge then sighed it off for the time being and walked over to them.

"Hey, Christian. What's up?" Edge asked his comrade of twenty plus years.

"Edge, in case you didn't know, I'm not in the mood for conversation," Christian immediately cut off whatever Edge had in mind.

"What happened, are you sulking because of the fact that you may have killed the career of a Hall of Famer's son?" Sparks Mineral immediately got into mode, clear anger in his voice.

"You sound angry, man. You pent up about the World's Title? Cause I saw what happened," Tyson cut into the conversation.

"You're damn right I'm pent up about the World Title, and you two are a couple of idiots!" Edge yelled.

"What are you getting at with this? Are you in love with Orton or something?" Christian countered.

"Wow, pretty funny and too cute, Captain Charisma. But for your information, you idiots, you were so busy hatching up your revenge that you failed to know that Randy Orton, if he was in good enough condition, would have come out to stop Evolutionary interference, thus evening the playing field and making it very possible for me to get the World Heavyweight Title so we could have a future match for it! But no, you had to go around and talk about making headlines by trying to give the Legend Killer scrambled brains, and he's now in no condition to help me, making it clear cut opportunity for Evolution! You dumb ass!" Edge immediately berated the Peep Man.

"Get over yourself, Edge! He and his girlfriend Little Miss Longlegs misdirected Captain Charisma's air time! What do you think I'm supposed to do, just stand there because we get along with him backstage? Give me a break! I mean, come on! That's Randy Orton! Do you remember what happened? Tonight's one-on-one match with Triple H for the Title should have happened November 29th, somewhere shortly after Survivor Series! But no, Mr. RKO has to put Chris Benoit in the middle of that match, thus causing the pointless controversy which should have never happened! If you and only you were ruled in like you were supposed to, then you would've **been** World's Champion! So no, he's no kind of big help to me, and I should know, neither is he to you!" Christian told Edge, who puffed like Tyson had earlier when told to challenge Orton.

"Yeah, but we took a picture with that guy in our hometown! Now you have to go off and do that?" Edge continued to speak against the assault.

"Orton's cool, but he's meaningless to us, and Stacy stole for him _my time!_" Christian yelled. "I betcha you woulda been the one to take an RKO if he ever gave one in the middle of that match! Like you said, you're gettin' screwed! Orton's part of what did it! Why cut him so much slack?"

"Maybe because you don't know how to start a competitive rivalry with a friend without killing their career?" Edge suggested to his tag team partner of twenty plus years.

"Shut up!" Christian ordered him before walking off on his own. Immediately, he started to show signs of feeling guilty. Tyson looked at Edge, who simply said, "Go."

In the meantime, Tajiri and William Regal were in the middle of a victory party, when all of a sudden, Smackdown's three Japanese Superstars, Kenzo Suzuki, Akio, and Cruiserweight Champion Funaki showed up. Akio did the Asian bow thing to Tajiri, who answered back with it. Kenzo and Funaki shook hands with the new Tag Team Champion, and then the talking started.

"Now, I know the show that just finished is Raw, but I have to say this for memories. This is Funaki, Smackdown's #1 Announcer, and Cruiserweight Champion of World! And my hometown homeboy Tajiri, how does it feel to be World Tag Team Champion?" he asked his Raw comrade in that same accent. Tajiri answered it in Japanese, with apparently a great comment behind it. Akio made a suggestion, and the four of them took it. Well, it used to be the four of them until Kenzo was booed and then shoved off on the street. Anyway, let's let the Japan Fest die. We've got former Tag Team Champions that are grumbling now.

"How come you never had my back tonight?" Sylvan Grenier grumbled to his partner.

"Hey, you let him pin you for the Titles!" Robert countered Sylvan's complaints.

"Robert, Sylvan! Stop complaining, eh? I know the meaning of losing Tag Team Championships," a familiar voice suddenly came up.

"Rene!"

"What are you-"

"Don't tell me you forgot. Smackdown and Raw are on the same road again this week," Rene Dupree reminded his La Resistance Raw partners, cutting off Robert.

"N'ayes pas peur, mon ami! Comment ca va?" Sylvan greeted him.

"Je suis tres bien, merci beaucoup," Rene answered back.

"Nobody came here to find out what's going on in France, Resistance kids," Charlie Haas of Smackdown suddenly cut in, alongside Shelton Benjamin. The former World's Greatest Tag Team was standing alongside one another against the entire La Resistance group.

"Oh, well, if it isn't the World's Greatest Tag Team, Charlie Haas and Shelton Benjamin," Sylvan acknowledged. "What kind of business do you have interrupting our little get together."

"Oh, nothing much. Billy Kidman called me over to have a little party tomorrow before Smackdown. He's got some club connections here nobody knew about. And don't worry, it's a legit operation," Charlie informed La Resistance.

"Well, if it's legitimate, then what are we waiting for? Tell us the details," Robert requested from the two all-American athletes.

"It's somewhere in the Roppongi area. Looks like some kind of shrine, but inside is a really cool party network. Kidman told Haas all about it and even gave us a world tour," Shelton elaborated upon the issue. "But, here's one problem: you're gonna have to bring Hiroko and Fifi along, and disguise them. Because there can be no company allowed that consists of only people associated with France and / or Kenzo Suzuki."

"Well, we can come with you-"

"Hello, Dupree? I couldn't stay in a car ride to that place with you in a million years, and nor could Shelton about your little lover town boys here," Charlie said, interrupting Rene. "And since Kenzo, Hiroko, and Fifi are the only people around here that like you, take them along on this ride. It's the healthiest strategy a man's come up with. Oh, and remember: disguise them, so nobody knows they're Suzuki and his people. Like I said, they don't like him any more than you Frenchies." (a/n: it's a gimmick thing, people, they wouldn't like me either.)

"Hey, you! You're not gettin' away from me!" a voice suddenly came in their direction. They turned and saw Viscera running in his snail speed after them.

"Uh oh, gotta go," Shelton said, he and Charlie running away from the very big butterbean Mohawk Knight.

"You've got to be kidding me with those people," Sylvan said.

"Let us sing our anthem of Canada now," Rene suggested to his partners.

"Yeah, good idea," Robert agreed to it.

"O Canada…"

…okay. Now that we're done with that little scandal and love fest, let's go to Edge.

Still in a bad mood over the events of tonight, the Artist of Awesomeness was confronted by none other than the girl highly considered the slut of Raw.

"Well, hi there, Edge. Care to admit that I was right about you all along?"

"You've got only one man to thank, and his name is Batista," Edge clearly reminded Trish Stratus.

"Okay, I'll admit, he did take a little bit out of you. But he's not entirely responsible for it," Trish said to him.

"What?"

"Oh, it's you. You have bad luck, Edge. You can ascend as highly as you want to in the Intercontinental Championship level, but when it comes to the World Heavyweight Title division, you are doomed to being a loser," Trish explained it to him.

"Hey, don't you have a team to talk to? Or is it that you're just bored because they have a low potential of having sex with you? Is that it?" Edge asked her, irritated that she was bothering him like this.

"Oh! I can't believe you would say something like that!" Trish complained about Edge's words.

"Yeah, well, I can't believe you'd interrupt me on my worst day," Edge came back. "Hey, speaking of which, is that your plan? To get me in so much of a down mood that you can console me and make me mindlessly want to sleep with you?"

"Even in Japan, Edge, you are just as brainless as the USA-holes! How could you continue to characterize me as a slut!"

"Considering your history, it's incredibly easy. You're even more pathetic than I thought. Now, go before I Spear you and really teach you the meaning of 'sleep in'!" Edge threatened her. Now, she had no choice but to leave, in her beautiful shiny black dress. Come to think of it, why was she wearing such attire tonight…? Not like Edge was wondering that, I'm just telling this to the readers.

In the meantime, Captain Charisma and the Empress of Legs didn't exactly get along tonight, as Christian had his air time stolen by Stacy Keibler for her boyfriend Randy Orton, only for Stacy to see Christian and "Problem Solver" Tyson Tomko take advantage of another concussion for the Man of Destiny and just about destroy him.

Within the medical room of Saitama Super Arena, Stacy was standing there, worried about her boyfriend, who was on a stretcher. Of course, we don't know enough to mean the most Valentine word in all of this just yet, but it's a great hunch, considering how the two have gotten along recently…

…anyway, Christian suddenly appears with a snicker and smile. Stacy notices, and immediately goes on a tirade.

"How dare you come in here and sneak up on me like that, Christian! I'm here looking after the man you injured in my face!"

"Shut up, I'm already thinking about how guilty I am as it is," Christian immediately countered the woman's scorn. He then took a chair and folded it close to Randy so as to be able to sit down to his size.

"Hey, Rando. Can you hear me?" he asked, prompting the Legend Killer to slowly tilt his head to look at him.

"Uh… Father Christian, is that you?" Randy slowly said, obviously feeling the effects of the concussion.

"Yeah, kid. It's me, but don't call me Father: it's embarrassing. Anyway, as you probably already know, I think I let my temper get the best of me tonight. I'm here to be a man. Tonight, I got angry because your girlfriend here decided that instead of answering questions about me, she was gonna tell my butler where to find and interview you, because I am, quote, 'annoying'. Not only that, but as I was putting down that idea with a list, she suddenly said that you could kick my ass on any given day. In front of my Japanese Peeps, by the way! So, naturally, I got angry, maybe even a little jealous, and I tried to take it out on you. But, with a little thought, and a lecture from Edge, I realize that if I hadn't made that stupid move, maybe I could have left the road open for you to stop Batista's interference so Edge could become the World Heavyweight Champion. So, for that, and as a friend, I have to admit for once that I'm sorry for jumping you tonight," Christian said. What a long acceptance speech, huh?

"Well… I don't remember any of that right now, Father… Christian, but from the… sounds of it, it seems as if… you're the reason I'm in this bed, and I'm gonna have to… kick your ass for this," Randy promised within his resemblant-to-dying state. With that, he laid his head back down and drifted off to sleep.

"And I will accept that ass kicking with my honor, my charisma, and my entire Peepulation," Christian promised back, standing up to leave. "Hey, Stace; take care of your boyfriend so he can be healthy enough to kick my ass when it's time."

"He's not my boyfriend!" Stacy complained, though the comment fell on deaf ears to the exiting Show Stealer and everyone else within the vicinity. But she couldn't help but laugh a sweet laugh when thinking about how in his concussed state, Randy still had the wherewithal to joke around and address the man who just left company by the name of "Father" Christian. And that's despite the fact that "Father" Christian is responsible for him being in this bed tonight.

In the meantime, Triple H, Ric Flair, and Batista were dressed in awesome suits, apparently waiting for someone to show up in the parking lot.

"Here he comes, boys," Trips pointed, turning Evolution's heads to the left.

"Where's Trish?" Ric suddenly realized to ask the group he brought together.

"I don't know. She should've already come here. I'd better see what's up," Batista suggested, when he suddenly got a tap on the shoulder. Guess who walked by and stopped where he could see her in the other direction.

"Well, if it ain't the blonde beauty herself. We were waiting for you," Batista pointed out to her. "And he's here."

"Thanks for the news, it's really rewarding to know that you guys think about me when I'm not here," Trish responded kindly to his words. So, that's what she was wearing that black dress for…

…anyway, the direction Trips pointed the group to had a white limousine with Texas long horns, and the name JBL on it, and we're not talking about Platinum JBL Series computers. We're talking about the Master Investment, John Bradshaw Layfield, and his Cabinet. The Basham Brothers, Orlando Jordan, and image consultant Amy Weber. Their outfits were equally impressive.

"Good evening, gentlemen. I believe we're ready to go," JBL said, as the Cabinet members shook hands with the Evolutioners, Trish included on this one, of course.

"This is a rare appearance of the both of our teams being here at the same time," Trips brought to the attention of Bradshaw, who simply smiled in thought.

"Imagine Evolution and the Cabinet, Hunter Hearst Helmsley and John Bradshaw Layfield most certainly included, showing up in the middle of one of those Roppongi night clubs together. The house will be electrified, my friend!" Bradshaw boasted purely upon possibilities. "That is too much excellence, too much chiseled work of awesome business, too much good-looking gold for people not to pay attention to the fact that JBL, Triple H, and double company are in the area."

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, hold on one second, dawg," another voice suddenly burst up from behind JBL, freezing up the group in its tracks.

"Who is this?" Bradshaw asked, irritated that someone would spoil this night.

"Look, JBL. They call me the Doctah, but I know my stuff, and I got my Chain Gang wit' me in Japan, so cough however you want, however as much as you want, cause all you guys have got is gold and some girls to flaunt. You ain't got no charisma like E&C people, and you know damn well you got what you got wit' evil cheatin' behavior. Don't call yourself a champ, cause by doin' so, you give the world some cramps. All you two know how to do is suck, and then when you annoy people on the mic, they wish you bad luck, but they never get their way, and why is that? Because some idiots have gotta get in these good cats? If you didn't have a Cabinet or an Evolution, these titles would be in a Thuganomics institution. This is what I do, you better look at your ride, cause somebody's jackin' it off your hides. And as for your two sluts, everybody knows they love to sleep, so why don't you just grow up? I will set this Championship free to be as cool as it wants, so you can't see me! So, I leave you with this, you lil' penal sprout; I don't really understand what the talkin's about, so choke on these nuts before gettin' the knife of your crap talk again, and that is Word Life!"

You can only guess who that was that gave that rap and walked off, leaving the Cabinet and Evolution seething, which would only become worse with the realization that, uh… the limo's gone.

"I am a wrestling god, Cena!" Bradshaw warned the Doctor of Thuganomics with his own egotist claims. "**A wrestling god**!"

"Be quiet," Batista said. JBL looked at him crossly, and he just shrugged.


	10. A Valentine's Day Aftermath

Disclaimer: This is unassociated with any of my other stories, and I do not own any of the members of this story. I simply write this story due to my interest in Raw, especially with the superstars crucially in my dialogue.

Pairings: Some references of Edge/Lita and Kane/Lita (very prominent in this chapter), a little RKO/Stacy, and some insignificant one time date arrangements.

Rating Info: This story is rated PG-13.

**_The Stones of Raw_** by **Prime Time, Legend Champion**

Chapter 10: A Valentine's Day Aftermath

Following 2/14/05 episode of Raw

US Bank Arena in Cincinnati, OH

Edge and Christian didn't exactly have the most cohesive night last week in Japan, but hey. Tonight, they're both in important matches, all stemming around that World Heavyweight Championship picture. Christian got Randy Orton into a match with Tyson Tomko, and then took advantage of his concussion condition to bash over the Legend Killer. Edge then went on to get screwed out of the World Heavyweight Championship against Triple H by none other than Batista. Backstage, Edge blamed Christian for disabling Orton from the chance to retain any Evolutioner from doing damage. But Batista's the one who did the damage, so Edge challenged him tonight, and Christian is apparently going to accept his tough fight like a man tonight against Randy Orton, for they'll be in a one-on-one match.

Anyway, the night began with Chris Jericho's Highlight Reel, much like it did four weeks ago. He welcomed the cheering American fans to Raw Is Jericho. His guest tonight was Candace Michelle, who was involved in that court commercial for the Super Bowl. She used to be Randy Orton's backstage girlfriend, but only for a solidly short time. He mentioned that she'd been on the Howard Stern show, and many magazines. The commercial showed, and Jericho asked her to respond to the uproar, and she clearly didn't understand how Cincinnati would mind. She then emulated the dance moves and wardrobe malfunction from the commercial, and Jericho was joking about an apocalyptic circumstance. Muhammad Hassan and Daivari decided to make their way to the stage, Hassan wearing a holy robe and getting the USA chanted in his face. He called this an example of typical American hypocrisy, saying the woman is praised for disgracing herself on national television by the entire audience, but he gets no acolaids for beating Sergeant Slaughter. He called this the dumbing down of America, and Jericho the poster child of stupidity. Muhammad then demands a stop to this "female exploitation" before Hassan comes out to embarrass Jericho just like he did last time he was on the show. Jericho answered that the Arab jerks are the poster boys for jackasses, and that he doesn't understand their anger. He then made a couple of jokes, one about Daivari maybe not having a penis. Daivari spoke his crap, and Chris joked as if it were some sick desire. He says he gets it; he's seen them hang out together all the time backstage and speak their own special language that the two understand and look long and hard into each other's eyes. The conclusion of Jericho City and Fozzytown according to Y2J is that Daivari must be Hassan's special little Valentine, specifically hinting upon the thought of Val's Day today. Hassan orders Jericho to wipe the smile off his face, and Jericho threatens to take Hassan and Daivari to Chinatown right here, tonight, in Cincinnati, on Raw. Hassan and Daivari are making their way to the ring as the show goes on commercial.

We return to see Chris Jericho fighting Muhammad Hassan in a legal one-on-one match. Jericho is enjoying early control of the match. He got in a springboard shoulder block on Hassan sending both of them to the outside, and shortly thereafter a cross body cover from which Hassan kicked out. Jericho stomped Daivari's shoulder as soon as he showed up, and Hassan soon took back the main heat of the match. Now, I stop talking, because Daivari steals the job. When Jericho breaks out of a headlock, Daivari screams _something_ in English, telling him to hold onto the Ayatollah of Rock and Roll. It was either the fans cheered or Daivari talked and interfered a little bit too much. Jericho eventually was able to go for the Walls, but Hassan kicked him back and broke off from it. Jericho's lionsault was unable to operate, as Hassan got out of it, but he was eventually taken out. Unfortunately, the ref was distracted by Daivari, so he couldn't count until Jericho gave the Khoz a springboard dropkick. Unfortunately, this led to Hassan being ripe for giving Jericho the facebuster smash and pinning him 1, 2, 3.

Ric Flair was reading a cellphone text message from a loving fan girl in the Evolution locker room, and Triple H warned him that there was going to be a fight. Flair hadn't heard it, but John Bradshaw Layfield was making his way to Raw to confront Batista! Trips told Flair to tell Batista that the Game has it taken care of, calling JBL's appearance on Raw an insult to Evolution. And I thought they were supposed to be pals! How insane is this company, anyway?

The Hall of Fame video showed up again, except this time, with a new legend. Ladies and gentlemen, my homeboy, the controversial Pitmaster, Rowdy Roddy Piper!

Randy Orton and Stacy Keibler were talking about the Hall of Fame ceremony, making a small joke. Stacy suddenly asked him if he wanted to go and get something to eat after the match. He then suspected, like the rest of us, that she was asking him out because it was Valentine's Day today. Oh, and by the way: being the other Captain Charisma, I had a special for my female peeps at school today, but maybe I shouldn't talk too much about that. Anyway, Orton said that _after he destroyed Christian tonight_, which I am highly skeptical of for multiple reasons, the out was in. Maria was talking to Batista elsewhere, until they got cut off by Ric Flair, who told Maria he and Batista needed to talk about something serious. Flair told Batista about JBL coming, and Batista understood that he was to focus on the match with Edge. The Leviathan told his eldest comrade to leave Triple H out of it if JBL decides to show up. "This is between me and him. I'll take care of it myself."

Shelton Benjamin then went on to defend his WWE Intercontinental Championship against Gene Snitsky. Benjamin started immediately going after him. He quickly got the Stinger Splash, but too little damage otherwise to get the win. Snitsky eventually got a headlock in, but Shelton enjoyed control for five more seconds, until Snitsky started operating with the domination. Shelton eventually took control as well. Jerry Lawler and Jim Ross talked about the Hall of Fame, saying that the "no character" Snitsky could never be in the Hall of Fame, but that Roddy Piper's acceptance speech would be unpredictable. Snitsky went into an argument with the referee after being shocked about a count. He eventually used a steel chair on Shelton Benjamin, getting disqualified. He even disagreed with that and stormed off! Nobody will communicate with this man other than the other guy who's just as deranged as him, and that's his friend Heidenreich, who, by the way, people, is still in a casket.

La Resistance wanted a rematch for the World Tag Team Championships, and they got it. Robert Conway immediately controlled the early part of the match against William Regal, but things changed after Tajiri was tagged in, as he almost instantly put his team on fire until a pin breakup came and Conway started pummeling Tajiri. La Resistance now controlled the action. William Regal eventually got tagged, and it was his turn to light a fire under his tag team. This led to Regal and Tajiri retaining their great gold.

Randy is apparently 100 tonight. The match was intense and physical. Christian once tried to get in an advantage as Orton was too busy trashing Tomko, but the Legend Champion saw Captain Charisma coming. Eventually, we saw Orton get flipped over to the outside, and the Problem Solver throw him into the steel steps. The referee had to hear and play investigator, though he was distracted by Christian as the move went on. We returned to see Christian still in control. Tomko had been ejected during the commercial break. The Peep Man is still in control, though he has a big lump from a group of right hands from the Legend Killer. Christian countered an RKO and then got in a reverse DDT, almost finishing off the match. Soon afterwards, both men needed to get up, and they both did. A fighting confrontation saw Christian go down and end up taking 20 punches to his chest. Orton got Christian in a power slam and tagged him in for a two count. Christian is showing his resilience here. A cross body move couldn't finish off the Peep Man. Christian tried to get the "feet on the ropes" school boy cover, but it didn't work. Christian tried to distract the referee by exposing the steel post right in front of him so Tomko could appear to defeat Randy Orton with the running big boot. It didn't work, and Orton then went on to counter an Unprettier. Christian better not stand up. He countered an RKO again, then Orton countered an Unprettier again, and then Orton got in the RKO, finally, and defeated Captain Charisma after a great match. The Randonites and the Peeps have to be looking at themselves and at each other and thinking, "Man, that was good; I hope the Legend Killer and Captain Charisma can fight again real soon."

Eric Bischoff is in his office talking to Theodore Long via cellular telephone, telling him not to play games because Batista made it clear that he'll decide next week where he goes, and that there's nothing he'd like better than to see Batista beat Smackdown's WWE Heavyweight Champion (I'd like to see it too, but because of JBL himself) right here on Raw. Edge shows up and talks about how Batista cost him the World Title, and Bischoff is encouraging him instead of punishing him. Eric says to take it out on Batista, that's why he made the match. Edge now made the point that he will beat Batista, and when he does, and JBL decides to come and beat the crap out of him, the Leviathan will be embarrassed, and will decide to sign that Smackdown contract to face off against JBL for the WWE Title. The point; there's gonna be an opening, because the Game will need a WrestleMania opponent, and Edge plans on proving that nobody deserves it but him.

Ross and Lawler reminisced on Japan Week, and how the Japanese people respected the WWE, as well as its global popularity. Suddenly, Trish Stratus shows up in a hot black outfit and to much initial applause. She immediately says that the WWE Divas are trying to steal her spotlight, but nobody will. She then called out Christy Hemme, and then went on to say that the title of slut - which people chanted to her again just so as to remember - no longer applies to Trish. Rather, it now applies to Christy, who will be posing for Playboy. Christy responded by saying that Trish may be trying to make her upset, but what qualifies as a slut is not posing for Playboy Magazine, but sleeping with half of the entire locker room is. Trish slapped Christy, infuriated at the comment, and walked away, her music and title shining. The footage of the cause for the Edge-Batista match came up. It's the Artist of Awesomeness versus the Capital Destroyer, the main event for tonight's Raw.

Next, Kane comes out for a match against Simon Dean, who clearly shows that he is delirious and scared for his life, wondering if he's in hell. In this match, which Simon had to be thinking was some kind of no disqualification death affair, the System Guru was whipped with his own heavyweight belt, choked and dropped on the security guardrail, blinded by his own "protein" powder, witness to Kane doing push ups in his face, booted intensely so as for the back of his head to bounce off the ringside concrete, and eventually Chokeslammed to Hell. The way he got embarrassed and punished, you'd think he was _in_ hell.

Next, Shawn Michaels was asked by Coach about a disturbing interview with Kurt Angle in the Japanese magazines, in which Angle brags about what he did to Michaels at the Royal Rumble. Michaels said that he was very aware of it, and that Angle ought to focus on making his way towards perhaps becoming the WWE Heavyweight Champion at WrestleMania. At the Evolution room, Trips tried to persuade Batista to take his cover in the back with JBL, but the Leviathan refused.

The Chris Masters commercial came again before the Batista versus Edge match. In that match, Batista showed that power and strength advantage early. However, Edge's wrestling abilities got him an edge soon enough, though people somehow decided to chant "Edge Sucks". Batista soon went on to take control again, and Edge fired Edgecution again. Now, he's gotta be thinking Spear. But Batista cut into Edge's Spear by giving him a vicious spine buster, and then the Batista Bomb! Suddenly, John Bradshaw Layfield's limousine showd up, and Ric Flair is motioning to Evolution that it's time to approach JBL and his Cabinet. Edge has won because Trips suddenly entered the squared circle and pushed off the referee, but that's not the point. Triple H made a rant about how this is disrespectful to Evolution, and then Batista shuts him up by telling the Game once again that this is his business. Batista then comes out to the parking lot, only to see JBL's limo try to run him over. Triple H pushes Batista out of the way, and when the two of them get up, Batista says it looks like he's going to Smackdown… by himself.

Edge was walking around, continuing to look up in the air and puff in frustration. He knows the only reason he won the match was because Triple H walked into the ring and shoved the official aside. He is incredibly angry with himself because Lita has a broken neck, and he could not properly avenge himself. On top of that, Christian was nowhere to be found, for some reason, and nor was Tyson. Where the hell were his pals at a time like this? Suddenly, enter Kane.

"Edge," the Big Red Machine called him.

"Kane, what are you-"

"Just came to talk a little bit. I've been standoffish all night, and I think we both know why," Kane informed Edge, bringing his attention. "It's Valentine's Day today? And do you know what our Valentine is doing today? Living off one leg because of Trish Stratus!"

"Quit reminding me! That's the most sour thing you could bring up in my mind at a time like this. I mean, first, there's Lita. Second, I couldn't avenge myself for Batista costing me the World Championship last week. I mean, I won the match, but look at it this way. I took a Batista Bomb, and if JBL's limo hadn't arrived and made the distraction when it did, I most certainly would have been pinned, and I know it," Edge said.

"But look at it from a positive side, Edge. First of all, that so-called 'fitness guru', Simon Dean. Have you ever tried his products?" Kane suddenly asked the blonde man in front of him.

"No. I was scared to death of it when JR said it gave him diarrhea. And seeing you take his weight loss pill and suddenly go sour, I could tell it wasn't a weight loss system, but rather, it's taste loss. Can you believe this guy, trying to disrespect people and intimidate them into eating crap made solid, sniffing some kinda poison pixel dust, and drinking thin watercolor paint by using this stupid excuse gimmick of his? I mean, listen: 'Oh, people of Cincifatty, or Akebokyo, or Sumoitama Super Arena, or whatever the hell he says, my name is Simon Dean, and I implore you to take my Simon System because even though you're fat and disgusting, I believe in you.' Give me a break, that's a classic idiot."

"Yeah, you know? Come to think of it, Edge and Kane, why don't the three of us pretend to make a commercial right now, and add shades of Jimmy Kimmel Life bashing Ric Flair, and that 'trendy hipsters' tobacco commercial thing, and have a little fun with the Simon System?" Shelton Benjamin suddenly appeared and spoke.

"Good idea, Shelton. I mean, any of us could whoop him dead at any time with our hands tied behind our back. So, how do… oh, yeah. That stupid music of his. Doo doop, doop, doo do do doop, doo doop, doop, doo do do doop, doo doop, doop, doo do do doop, doo doop, doop, doo do do doop. Okay, let me stop now. How are we going to attract people to our taste loss product called the Simon System?"

"We need to make this system cool. You know, make young people become attracted to this product," Kane said.

"How about gettin' in some trendy hipsters to help out the brand? High school and college kids have been hearing about this system, and apparently, the only people who could ever like it at this rate are those old colostomy bag guys. You know, crazy 85-year-old men like Ric Flair?" Shelton suggested.

"Ha ha. Yeah. Hey, Ric Flair himself could become a trendy hipster with all his struts and profiles and all the girls he's taken into his penis over the years, despite the fact that his colostomy bag can tell you he's got even more 85-year-old bones than Bill Cosby," Edge joked. "And trust me, that man is old."

"No need to tell me twice. Anyway, how are we supposed to get these trendy hipsters? I mean, they dislike the Simon System as well. Even Rosie O'Donnell and Mo'nique have rejected the system. (a/n: this is not proven fact, we're just saying it for the "fake commercial") So how do we get them to advertise? It's not like we can offer them millions of dollars. They already get that from being so hip, cool, and popular," Shelton mentioned.

"How about we kidnap them, and I threaten to torture them until they agree to promote us?" Kane suddenly suggested, laughing maniacally.

"Yeah, like people do to force their homeys to take drugs," Shelton pointed out. "That would be nice, but with your creepy self, they'd call police and recommend a psych ward."

"You didn't," Kane abruptly just stopped, giving Shelton a blank look. That was a signal to run. Kane stood up, as if about to hit Benjamin. He'd already dealt with Gene Snitsky's steel chair tonight. He didn't need this. Shelton ran off into another direction, almost like referees do. Kane and Edge looked to each other and laughed.

"He won't be a trendy hipster," Kane said.

"You've got that right," Edge agreed.

In the meantime, Randy Orton and Stacy Keibler were standing in the parking lot, about to enter a rental car for their little date when Christian appeared.

"Hey, Randy, wait up!" Christian called to him, walking over to the Legend Killer and the Empress of Legs.

"Well, if it isn't Christian," Stacy quickly retorted, obviously upset with what Captain Charisma did last week.

"Stacy, shut up. I didn't come for this crap. I just came here to tell the Legend Champion here, nice match. Looks like you did kick my ass, huh?"

"Yeah, and you took it exactly as you said you would. With honor, charisma, and all your Peeps," Randy reminded Christian.

"Heh. I got your point. Where are you two headed off to on Valentine's Night?" Christian suddenly asked Randy and Stacy.

"Hey, that's a good way to put it. Valentine's Night. Nice," Randy said, admiring Christian's obviously diverse train of thought.

"You know what, don't tell me yet. In fact, don't even go yet. I'd like to find somebody around this locker room with whom I could tag along on your little upcoming romantic experience," Christian said.

"Christian, has anyone told you when you need to shut up? Because I'm telling you that now. You could benefit from silence now," Randy said bluntly, obviously not about to take romance jokes from the Peep Man.

"What?"

"We'll wait for you. You've got thirty minutes. Besides, I'd like to get a little word in with Christy before I go. You know, to congratulate her on standing up to Trish before ever getting a meaningful match?" Stacy mentioned.

"You go ahead and do that. She deserves the honor," Christian mentioned. "I've gotta carry out my Captain Charisma's Diva Search right now."

"All right. See you in a half hour," Stacy said, waving to him as he walked off.

"Are we seriously gonna wait? I mean, he did jump me last week," Randy asked her when Christian was out of the area.

"Yes," Stacy answered him. The two looked at each other, and smiled.

In the meantime, we had Triple H and Trish Stratus holding a discussion.

"Batista's leaving by himself? What kind of nonsense is that?" Trish asked.

"Trish, don't worry about it. All it means is he gets to prove that he can help us take over the industry, and seek revenge on JBL for trying to run him over," Trips answered.

"No, I don't agree with this," Trish disapproved the decision.

"Why?"

"Well, for one thing, if he leaves for Smackdown, that makes it difficult for us to contact him. And, quite frankly, I think he's cool. Secondly, Hunter, just face it. You need him to keep the World Heavyweight Title in Evolution."

"Trish, look at it this way. First of all, Evolution was created and is led by me, which means I should be the World Heavyweight Champion, not even Batista. And that can be broken at WrestleMania if I have to face him, despite the fact that it would make Evolution's night of WrestleMania greatness. Secondly, the idea of taking over the industry should mean a lot more than how to be cool. That's the kinda thing that dooms Edge _and_ Christian to never being able to hold a World Heavyweight Championship and legitimately call it their own. They're so worried about being cool and punk that they forget the big picture, which is to stay at the top of your game and just plain rule. You have to admit it, Trish Stratus. The Game has a point."

"Yeah, I know you do. And you know what?"

"What?"

"You're right. Even though I don't necessary like Batista having to go to Smackdown, you've got a good point. Rather than fighting for this one Championship, which belongs to the leader, you two could be both Heavyweight Champions and rule the business. Degeneration X, the Four Horsemen, the New World Order, that Kings of Wrestling piece of crap organization at TNA, Bradshaw's Cabinet, everything! Every group in this business will be topped by Evolution! You'll have accomplished supreme status!"

"That's right, Trish. I'm glad you could see it from my point of view."

Speaking of seeing things from points of view, that is the forte of Val Venis, as far as the female anatomy is concerned. Especially on this day. I mean, think about it: _Val_entine's day? Get it, people? Anyway, Val has two of Raw's newest hot ladies at his sides: one being Christy, the other being Maria. Of course, Christian's got thirty minutes to find a Diva, perhaps one of these two. Oh, wait: perhaps? Just three minutes into this, that's exactly who he finds.

"So, my ladies, how would you like it if tonight, we could host another chicken fight? Let's find a guy around the locker room, and we can go to a hotel room with a hot tub I rented for this," the Big Valbowski suggested to the girls.

"Hey, cut the crap, Venis. Nobody wants to see you penis. All you're tryin' to do is make Pamelas outta Serenas," someone suddenly rapped.

"Christian, you do not have rap skills. Cut it out," Venis told him.

"Who are you to evaluate somebody's rap skills. Have you no sense? The only music you know is country and roses," Christian countered. "And you even modify that into pornographic reference."

"Ladies, do you have any idea what Christian is talking about?" Val asked Christy and Maria, bringing them to Christian's attention.

"Huh? Oh, yeah. I was just kidding. Anyway, seeing as how you've got a couple of Divas at your sides, and Randy and Stacy are going out, and I need to find a date within the next thirty minutes… you think you're up for giving up one of your Divas?"

"You know, Christian, you could have asked us, but I think I understand why you didn't," Maria shockingly cut into the conversation. "Anyway, I've just decided that you can have me for tonight."

"Huh? What happened to you?"

"Well, I know you attacked Randy and all last week, but I heard you apologized to him and promised to take the fight like a man when he showed up again. Besides, Stacy's my good friend now, so that's how I know this," Maria started to explain her sudden decision. "And besides, you two did have a great match tonight. Randy may have won, but he's not the only one who deserves a date for his effort tonight."

"Well, then. That was quick. So, guys, let's go," Christian said, bringing a small question into the other three in the area.

"What are you talking about, _guys_, let's go? You're dating just Maria tonight, right?" Christy suddenly asked him.

"I think Randy and Stacy's car has enough space for all four of us, so a little Venis & Henne company wouldn't exactly be all bad," Christian elaborated upon this invitation. "Besides, I know you're looking to have some fun, Christy."

"Thanks a lot, Show Stealer. In fact, I am," Christy then said.

Meantime, we go back to Edge and Kane, who are walking along in the parking lot, talking about whatever the hell is associated with hellfire, awesomeness, and brimstone. The Artist of Awesomeness suddenly noticed a car in the area had a familiar tinge of red hair within its right front window.

"And then, we have him the El Con… wait a minute, I think I see somebody real familiar," Edge stopped his statement, opening the door to find Lita.

"You're here! But… what about the ACL?" Edge asked her.

"It's been better than this my entire life, Edge," Lita announced. "Except between now and the surgery. I can't move an inch from here."

"She's a fighter, all right. I've known that since her 17 or something, I guess. Probably even younger. I couldn't tell her not to come here. It would've killed her even worse than her knee getting misshapen or permanently broke beyond repair," another voice suddenly blared itself from the other side. Matt Hardy's face peeked out from behind Lita's.

"Matt. So you brought her here?" Kane acknowledged.

"Did she get broken beyond fixing?" Edge somehow found the idiotic innocence to ask the Sensei of Mattitude.

"No, but that very well could've happened," Matt informed Edge.

"Li, you know it's best to stay home and rest. Why the hell did you come here?" Edge asked, crouching down to where she was. Kane did his brother's classic pose to entertain the troops, but Edge and Lita were completely oblivious, and Matt couldn't even see it, even if he tried. The Seven Foot Monster then stood up, annoyed at being unable to give the group a laugh or bring a smile to Lita's face.

"I thought you'd be happier to see me," Lita joked with a small smile.

"I am. I'm very happy to see you. It's just that I'd like to know you're somewhat fine and not risking the end of your knee before you decide to make a road trip because of me."

"Edge, I'm here for you. And don't you ever forget it."

Hearing that from Lita just made him smile with his eyes shut, basking in the glory of his Queen of Extreme. He then rose to his feet, and Kane decided to carry her out of the car into his arms.

"This is exactly how it was when I married you, Lita," Kane remembered, an evil smile creeping across his face. Matt, Lita, and Edge started to get a little scared.

"Uh, Kane? You're scaring me," Lita bluntly said.

"How could I scare you? I'm your husband," Kane questioned the words that just came out of Lita's mouth.

"How could you not scare me? I'm a woman, and you're Kane," Lita responded wittingly to the Big Red Machine. "Besides, you're my husband by force."

"And you love me for it," Kane grinned.

"Fine," she agreed with a sigh. "I need to go. Could you put me down in the car? And be careful," Lita then said.

"We'll take the back seats. I'd like a few days," Edge surprisingly requested.

In another area of the parking lot, Randy and Stacy were surprised not only to see Christian with a girl the first time, but also, Val Venis and Christy Hemme were also coming along for the ride.

"Well, Christian, I gotta admit. I'm impressed. I mean, not only did you come with a girl, but two, and you also got Val Venis to come along for our ride," Randy complimented him. "Congrats, man."

"She's with me," Val pointed to Christy.

"I'm with him," Christy pointed to Val.

"I don't think the Peepulation here recommended a repetition exercise," Christian chastised them.

"Peepulation, Christian? If anything, you're part of my Randonation," Orton took offense to being called a Peep.

"Shut up, man, let's go," Christian said, opening the backseat of the car. When they all got in…

"Oh, by the way, Stacy, during that WrestleMania commercial we did," Christian started.

"Yeah?" Stacy wanted him to continue.

"I actually was turned on by your utter hotness. That was not entirely a joke when I said I love you," Captain Charisma finished the statement, causing everyone to stare at him and Randy to stop activating the engine to the car. After a while, though, the Man of Destiny put a smile on his face as he thought of something.

"Anybody would be turned on by Stacy's utter hotness," Randy stated.

"And end up saying something stupid like that, too," Stacy finished, apparently reading his mind. She shook her head at the boast that she helped get made about herself.

"Driver, go," Christian pretended to order Orton, who started the engine as if to be following the order.

"Ha hah. You've got to admit, this little joking is kind of cute," Christy expressed opinion.

"Hey, speaking of the commercial, Christian, I'm a little curious," Maria said out of the clear blue.

"What is it?" Christian asked his petal for the night.

"What does 'sedomasochistic activity' mean?"

"Shut up. I'll get into that in the near future. Oh, by the way, Christy: congratulations on Playboy," Christian congratulated her.

"Thanks," Christy welcomed the respect.

"Of course, I scored the deal with Hugh Hefner to get her there," Venis bragged.

"Stop it," Christy commanded him.

"Do we need any of your exaggerations right now?"

"Shut up, Craptain Charisma."

"No, Baldbowski. You shut up."


	11. The Animal and Awesomeness

Disclaimer: This is unassociated with any of my other stories, and I do not own any of the members of this story. I simply write this story due to my interest in Raw, especially with the superstars crucially in my dialogue.

Pairings: Some references of Edge/Lita and Kane/Lita, maybe a little RKO/Stacy, and me continuing to leave you wondering somewhere whether Triple H and Trish will get together or not, but highly unlikely unless he ever gets high.

Rating Info: This story is rated PG-13.

**_The Stones of Raw_** by **Prime Time, Legend Champion**

Chapter 11: The Animal and Awesomeness

Following 2/21/05 episode of Raw

Bryce Jordan Arena at Pennsylvania State University in University Park, PA

Tonight, Raw's Batista will have a huge decision to make. Does he stay with Raw and make WrestleMania Evolution's night with a World Heavyweight Championship against team-leading World Champion Triple H, or does he go to Smackdown and make WrestleMania the opportunity for himself to gain the WWE Heavyweight Championship and for Evolution to perhaps control this business? Also, the Artist of Awesomeness and Captain Charisma, best friends since the 1980s or proably late 1970s, are tag teaming tonight against the Legend Killer and the Heartbreak Kid. That's right, ladies and gentlemen: Randy Orton and Shawn Michaels have to contend with the greatest tag team in the exclusive history of the WWE, and my two favorite WWE Superstars (as well as Toronto's, and those of all teenyboppers everywhere), Edge and Christian.

Speaking of Toronto, its Women's Champion, Trish Stratus, has to face the music. She's defending her WWE Women's Championship against Victoria and Molly Holly. The Saltshaker Moonsault was performed by Victoria, the Matrix Dodge was performed by Trish Stratus, but countered by Victoria, and Molly Holly missed the Merry-Go-Round, among other things that happened within the match. Once again, though, Victoria was the one that showed her legs, and part of her ass, with the outfit. She also made the finishing blow, though she didn't win the match. Victoria hit the Widow's Peak on Molly Holly, but she got pulled out of the ring in the midst of the cover by Trish, who made the pin herself, and retained her Women's Title in typical Chris Candido fashion.

In the Evolution room, Ric Flair was inspiring Triple H with great speech about how he molded Batista into a great wrestler, and how the Big Dave was completely influenced by the Game, and how the Leviathan would have no choice but to go to Smackdown and begin the process towards Evolution ruling this business. Triple H had gone on about how Batista blew the roof off the Mellon Arena in Pittsburgh. He then asked Flair if Batista was here, and the answer was no, and Batista hadn't talked to Flair yet. Trips wasn't happy, and Ric tried to keep the morale. They were sure that he was going to make the decision which gave Evolution potential control of wrestling. And you know what that is, right? Smackdown.

Returning to the back after her CC-like victory, Trish Stratus saw a conversation between Candace Michelle and Christy Hemme, and then spoiled it. She called herself the greatest Women's Champion ever and Christy the slut of Raw. She then talked about how she takes care of business and took down the top two contenders for her title just like that. Christy joked that she thought the only one that went down was Trish, who then slapped Candace. The 250,000 Raw Diva didn't like it, so she rammed Trish into a wall before being restrained.

Randy Orton and Stacy Keibler were walking down the hall, talking about something entertaining, when Shawn Michaels came, and asked Orton if they were cool for the match. The Legend Champion answered that they were on the same page here. Then, the Showstopper made a speech to Randy about how WrestleMania was like the rest of the WWE opportunities: don't wait for it. Take it. He said that at every WrestleMania that saw him wrestle, he gave it all out in hopes that people would be thinking about how the Showstopper did it again. He then remembered something and spoke that even he needed to follow his own advice, then went away with the promise that the two would see each other for the match.

Simon Dean came out to bash the fans on campus, and made a joke about Joe Paterno with mention of the Simon System. He was about to mention what tonight's show was "really about" when Chris Jericho, his opponent in tonight's match, finally shut him up. The fans got excited when Jericho got a springboard dropkick which knocked Simon to the outside. However, Dean proved that he had an impressive amateur background. If he could beat Jericho, said Jim Ross, it would be a great victory for Simon Dean's career. Simon and Jericho were both athletic in this matchup, and Simon got his knees up when Jericho went for the Lionsault. However, Simon could do nothing about the Walls of Jericho, not even reach for his Simon System gym bag. He had to tap out.

Theodore Long was talking to Eric Bischoff about how Batista knocked off Smackdown last night at the No Way Out pay-per-view, and then talked about JBL vs. John Cena vs. Batista at WrestleMania for the WWE Championship. Eric Bischoff countered by saying that contracts haven't even signed yet, and he's sure Batista's gotten the Smackdown stuff out of his system, and it will be Batista vs. Triple H for the World Title at WrestleMania. Speaking of WrestleMania, entered Shawn Michaels, it's the one night where Raw and Smackdown superstars come together and compete mano y mano, so he wanted Theodore Long to tell Kurt Angle that the Heartbreak Kid has challenged the Olympic Hero for WrestleMania. Theodore agreed to give Angle the challenge, and the two stood there.

Suddenly, Kane's fire burst when we came back from our commercial break, and the Big Red Machine of destruction, as Jim Ross just said it, came out for a one on one match. Last week, after the show, he and Edge met up with Lita, remember? Tonight, he had somebody's ass to kick. Who? Probably Gene Snitsky. No, wait… it's Tyson Tomko, the other member of the Awesomeness trio alongside Edge and Christian. Tomko had a microphone, and said that all the attention on Batista was pathetic. He also claimed that tonight, he was going to show that he was the real most dominant Superstar on Raw, the Problem Solver, and that his new problem was Kane. The two had a hard match of power. Tomko fired right hands to Kane when he got control of the match, and even applied a neck vice submission. Kane eventually got up from it, and then hung up Tomko on the top rope. He then got the control of the match, even with a flying clothesline. His right hand wants Tomko's neck for a Chokeslam to Hell. But, it didn't get it at that point. The match was powerful and intense between Kane and Tomko. Suddenly, Kane got the Chokeslam to Hell, that slam dunk, as JR called it. He won the match that way. But Tomko's big. Kane's arm is probably broken from the Chokeslam.

Ric Flair saw a limousine, thinking Batista was here, and looking to report the news. But, it was Chris Masters. Batista wasn't in the limousine. Chris introduced himself and actually told the Nature Boy he might learn a thing or two by watching the Masterpiece's match before proceeding into the arena.

Muhammad Hassan and Khozrow Daivari came out to rant and rave about Arab American mistreatment. But first, Daivari introduced Hassan in Iranian crap, getting booed and receiving USA chants. Hassan said that since he debuted here on Raw, he's been met with nothing but prejudice, but he's like everyone else, born in America. Yet they show him nothing but disrespect. Today is President's Day, a day that should remind them that all men were created equal, but if that was so, then why is Hassan the only one being discriminated against and denied on Raw? This, he said, is something no one can deny, which is his undefeated record here. There's no one in his opinion who can defeat him, because "unlike everybody in that locker room", he takes pride in what he does. That's why if Batista goes to Smackdown, he should face Triple H at WrestleMania 21 for the World Heavyweight Championship and get the main event opportunity. Up to now, everything after "Hassan said" is… of course. Hassan said. Chris Benoit cut him off, and then said that he came out to challenge Hassan to a match and to shut him up. Hassan then agreed to a challenge, but not tonight. Benoit cornered Hassan, and Daivari jumped on his back, leading to the beginning of a double team which culminated in that facebuster smash, and a Camel Clutch full of Iranian hate spoken by Daivari. Up next, the greatest tag team in WWE history was facing up against "Heartbreak Kid" Shawn Michaels and "Legend Killer" Randy Orton.

When Randy Orton came out for the match, the cheers started, and he was ready for what should be one hell of a tag team match, according to JR. As Shawn Michaels came out, the camera actually went onto a three paper sign with the letters H, H, and H on it. During Edge and Christian's entrances, the track record has been mentioned about how they have 20 tag team championships in the WWE, 7 of each done when they were together. It was spoken of as possible therapy for Edge and Christian. Anyway, onto the match. Randy Orton got the first punch and posed, as naturally, and then Christian started taking a little control and feeling good about himself. Edge eventually got a tag, but wound up trapped on the other side, as HBK and RKO know how to work together. They've done it before. However, though HBK did get the ten punches at the turnbuckle, he still wound up getting controlled by Edge and Christian for a short while. It's been three months since E&C last tag teamed, and then over three years since the last time before that. The control continued to go back and forth as Shawn Michaels and Christian fought in the ring. At one point in time, Christian kicked Shawn Michaels to ropes that Edge lowered. HBK wound up falling on his head and shoulder to the outside, the same head and shoulder that Edge then hungrily clotheslined, taking HBK down for a while. This is when we came down from the commercial break. Edge and Christian continued to control the action, and they had tagged up eight times in the middle of this control over the commercial break. Christian, upon cornering Michaels, gave him one slap too many, letting Shawn get a small piece of control upon Christian. Randy Orton has been chomping at the bit to get back into this match, while Christian and Edge have thrived off being in this match. Christian tagged Edge, but right before Randy Orton was finally tagged into the match. He now hit the same clubbing forearms to the kneeled body of Edge, and eventually took his momentum right into a hit from Christian to his back. This led to the combination of a sidewalk slam from Edge and a reverse DDT from Christian, the double team maneuver hitting Orton behind the referee's back. Edge and Christian continued their excellent tag team work. They eventually went for a flapjack, countered by Orton, who got in a two-man DDT. Orton got up first to tag in Michaels, who then went on fire all over Edge and Christian. Among the moves included a hit similar to Kurt Angle's Olympic Slam. Anyway, Edge Speared Randy Orton, and the referee wound up knocked down as well, leading to Edge and Christian getting Michaels' penis run into the turnbuckle simultaneously at high speed, then at (Edge's suggestion) going to go for the El Con-chair'to, which backfired via heartbreaking dodge into Edge being taken out of the equation by a Randy Orton clothesline over and Christian being pinned following Sweet Chin Music. As Orton and Michaels left happy, Edge seethed, and Christian tried to recollect himelf, Theodore Long and Eric Bischoff talked about the quality of action they've got on their shows. Eric said that Teddy wished he had this kind of action on Smackdown, and before Long could complete his rebuttal, in came Coach, who reported that he was told that Batista's arrival was imminent and could be within a couple of minutes. Bischoff said it was good, and Long said it was real good.

Maria was about to interview Michaels about his challenge to Kurt Angle, when Edge assaulted him viciously and mocked his nickname. Shawn couldn't even get up before taking a Spear.

Steven Richards was in the ring for a match against Chris Masters, who demonstrated extreme power and masterful craft in his match against Whacko Stevie. Richards tried to fight back at one point, but could not truly do anything to Masters before receiving a thunderous axe handle clothesline, which resulted in a tap-inducing Steiner Recliner. The confident Masterpiece walked to the back, recognized by Jim Ross as something special. A promo about events which led to Dave Batista's upcoming decision came on.

Next, the Intercontinental Championship match between Gene Snitsky and Intercontinental Champion Shelton Benjamin. The Pennsylvania native was not given a home boy welcome. Benjamin and Snitsky were both primed and ready for this match. Shelton, though, drew intense pieces of first blood. He even assaulted Snitsky on the outside before any offense could come. Snitsky suddenly hit a clothesline or something to take control of the match. Benjamin then got up out of a key lock from Snitsky, and then showed a brand new vicious streak, as he baseball slide kicked a steel chair straight into Snitsky's face. Yes, the Narcotic Psycho got the chair himself. But, Shelton Benjamin is the man who hit Snitsky with the steel chair, and though it disqualified Benjamin, he was still Intercontinental Champion, and the steel chair just got bent from meeting Shelton's bad side. Benjamin then stood over Snitsky and raised the chair high.

In the Evolution room, Flair was giving Batista another phone message. All of a sudden, Trips showed up, and started talking about how this is Batista's big night, and he has the guts to be two hours late. The Cerebral Assassin was absolutely disgusted, and the Flair started giving more "yes man" encouragement to the Game. Triple H then admitted that he was responsible for the tapes of the Smackdown comments and the white limousine with the white horns and the JBL logo in order to hype up Batista to go to Smackdown, a fact that my brother "somehow" knew about the entire time, by complaining about how hard it was to do it. Flair looked shocked, then proceeded to strut his stuff and call Triple H a genius. But, there was a greater genius on Raw, for behind the wall of the open door listened and stood the Capital Destroyer himself.

Eric Bischoff and Theodore Long came out, a table set up for the contract signing, and Bischoff spoke of the obvious choices that Batista has. Then, out came the Absolute Animal himself.

Bischoff first said that before making his decision, Batista should hear two things that he will do by signing Bischoff's contract: #1, he will remain on the #1 flagship brand in sports entertainment, the show that made him into the big star that he is today, and he will maintain stability because Bischoff's job is not in jeopardy, and #2, he will face Triple H, who is the man in this business. Theodore Long then cut in and said that he knows that Batista had to feel something when he came out at No Way Out and made his impact. The Smackdown GM then proceeded to talk about the great possibility

Triple H then finally spoke up, saying that this is not a hard decision. Trips then said that there's one person that Batista needs to listen to. It's not about what's best for either brand. It's about one thing: what's best for Batista, and what's best for Evolution. Trips then asks him to picture this: WrestleMania 21 is said and done, and Triple H is still the World Heavyweight Champion, and standing next to him was the new WWE Heavyweight Champion, Batista. Trips then spoke about the Four Horsemen and Degeneration X's inability to do this, and put the picture in Batista's head. Evolution will own the business. So, Batista looks at both contracts, throws down the Raw contract, and ends up taking thumbs up from his fellow Evolutioners. He returned them, only to turn it into thumbs down, give Trips a clothesline, throw Flair to the outside, then dress Triple H up in powerbomb through the table. Batista then signed the Raw contract, took a microphone and said he was staying on Raw to take Trips' World Title. Raw went off the air to Batista's music. He's going for the World Heavyweight Championship. He's staying with us and with WWE Raw. And he's not bringing forth Evolution's night: he _brought_ forth Evolution's _end_.

Edge and Christian fumed in the back about tonight's events.

"Can you believe this, Christian? Can you believe this?" Edge asked his tag team partner of twenty plus years, looking down whilst crouched in a gazing position. "I'm facing the Heartburn Kid in a street fight next week. Can you believe it?"

"No, as a matter of fact, I can't," Christian answered the question from the Artist of Awesomeness, looking down to him. Edge stood up, noting that there was sarcasm in Christian's voice.

"What's with the sarcastic stinktatude?" Edge asked Christian.

"I should ask you the same thing, removing the word 'sarcastic'. Stinktatude indeed, man. You shouldn't have just jumped Michaels when he was talking to Maria," Christian responded to yet another Edge Question.

"Why, just because you dated her last week on Valentine's Day? Randy told me all about it, back when he didn't give me any reason to get pissed off," Edge countered.

"No, she turned out to be a little boring for my cupid's taste. Looks can be deceiving," Christian verbally eliminated that possibility. "Anyway, it's because of that beating you gave Shawn that you're in this street fight in the first place, so stop complaining. You got yourself into this, and now it's time to fight your way out."

"Um, boys, could I talk to you for a second?" Stacy Keibler suddenly cut in to converse with the Awesomeness Dynasty tag team.

"Sure, go ahead," Edge answered before Christian could make any kind of rebuttal. Captain Charisma looked crossly at his best friend.

"Now, listen here, guys. I know that Randy Orton beat you in that tag team match tonight, and he was partners with Shawn Michaels, but he asked me to come here so I could tell you he means no disrespect from that, but he did what he had to do tonight. And, he wants to know if you'll still be his friends," she explained the picture. Christian had a bad look on his face, though, so expect an outburst.

"Are we still gonna be his friends? Edge, can you believe this?" Christian now asked Edge the first question of this conversation, though about a different subject, leaving Edge with a confused look on his face. "She wants to know if we're still gonna be his friends. Stacy, you know what? No! Listen here, Randy's Little Girl. I can tolerate the man stealing my air time as far as the questions in Japan, that was your fault anyway. And I know about how he beat me whith that RKO of his last week, that was a one-on-one match. I coulda beaten him with my Unprettier just as well, and it wouldn't have done a thing. But tonight, I saw something that I didn't like. Not only was he tag teaming with 'HBCrap' Shame Michaels, which is another tolerable offense, but - and this is what bites me here - **he was hailing him**! Do you hear me? Your boy hailed Shawn Michaels tonight as he came out, and then as he got those ten straight punches on Edge. He was clapping his hands in respect to the man who screwed everybody in this conversation who has a penis! So, as far as your little boyfriend goes, tell him that Captain Charisma said Orton can kiss my ass!"

"All right, I get the point already! Sheesh, God, help this man!" Stacy yelled out, causing Christian to stop right in his tracks. "If I knew you hated him so much, I wouldn't have even come here!" With that, she stormed away in the direction from which she came.

"Oh, and that picture you got when Orton got that double DDT, the one where all three of us are laying on our backs in the middle of the ring?" Christian mentioned. "Don't even think about looking at it on the tape and getting turned on!"

Stacy now left again, except this time, with shocked anger on her face.

"What's up with that?" Edge then had to ask Christian.

"I guess we're both angry tonight," Christian answered bluntly, in poetic injustice to his charismatic entity.

Meantime, Triple H received a call for someone to meet him on the outside. What the already irate World Heavyweight Champion saw proceeded to shock him out of his systems.

"JBL! What are you doing here?" Triple H asked, acknowledging that John Bradshaw Layfield, with his limousine, just made a surprise entrance.

"Hey, Triple H. Listen to me. I don't appreciate what you did to me," Bradshaw started.

"What are you talking-"

"I'm talking about what you've done to try to pit me in a field predicament with Batista! Now, listen here: I know about how you influenced Batista verbally, and that is simply greatness. But I came here to watch this show because I thought I'd be able to find out something about the Smackdown footage that showed up here. I know I did not bring that limo to run Batista over. But then, all of a sudden, look what I hear. You're responsible for those tapes, and for that limo which looked exactly like mine and almost ran Batista over? How dare you! I am John Bradshaw Layfield, the Stock of Greatness, **a wrestling god**, and the greatest WWE Heavyweight Champion of all time! Randy Orton's Intercontinental Championship reign is put to shame by my record breaking reign as the WWE Champion! His seven months were the longest with one Intercontinental Champion in seven years, my **eight** and counting months are the longest with one Heavyweight Champion in **ten** years! Obviously, my record shames his! And not only does Theodore Long show me no respect, not only does all of Smackdown hate me, but now you, of all people, actually went all out to make me have to face Batista in the defense of my WWE Heavyweight Title!" JBL furiously stormed at the Game.

"Hey, Bradshaw. Let me lay down the law here," Trips cut in to make a point. "First of all, you have a Cabinet willing to help you, and I could never get Flair to help me out against Batista, meaning if you faced Batista, you'd be able to keep your title easier than I would. Secondly, even if he did take it from you, don't you think you would have been proud to end such a great reign at WrestleMania 21 to the dawn of a new era, the Dominion of Evolution?"

"No!" Bradshaw burst out, severely temperamental towards this issue. "And that's exactly why Batista betrayed you! Because you are a shame to the World Heavyweight Championship that is on your shoulder, and the fact that you thought to exploit the both of us for yourself to control wrestling, the sport of the fans that chant JBL, is nothing but a damn shame. Let me counter both of your pathetic little excuses with statements that actually matter! First of all, your match with Batista is one-on-one, while mine would be a Triple Threat because of John Cena and this damn tournament that Teddy Long had to put up to try to screw me out again! I would have more than just your big buffoon to contend with! And next, as far as me being proud that my great reign would be the last thing before the Dominion of Evolution? No! If you can't persuade your partner fair and square, the Dominion of Evolution does not deserve to be! Hell, Evolution itself does not deserve to be, and thank Jesus that it is not! Plus, I love this WWE Title with a passion, my friend. I have gone on record to say that if I lose it, I'm never wrestling again!"

"This World's Championship is my life!"

"Selfish dominion is your life!"

"Speak about yourself!"

"People look up to me because of my agricultural achivements and my stock advice, loyal to America! All people would ever look at you for is, those teenyboppers would look at your physique and probably drool over it more than anybody else's but that new kid, Chris Masters!"

"Hey! Somebody mention me?" Chris Masters suddenly cut into the argument between Heavyweight Champions.

"What the hell do you want?" JBL yelled at Chris, showing complete impatience at this moment.

"Hey, you two may be the Champions right now, but I think that at the end of WrestleMania, that both the Cabinet and whatever the hell is left of any kind of Evolution will both be sans championship belts," Masters said. "But any way you look at it, I'm bound to be the one. I am doomed to being the World Heavyweight Champion somewhere in the future of Raw. Remember: I am the Masterpiece, the Self Made Sculpture, the great self artist known as Chris Masters. I am greater than all the artists who personified the Renaissance, or any other legendary eras in the arts. A penal statue of David is put to shame by my masterful excellence. And soon, so will the both of you."

With that, Masters walked off, leaving both Heavyweight Champions absolutely seething.

"Masters, do not think you can punk me out! In case you have been late since the Royal Rumble, I am a wrestling god!" Bradshaw yelled.

"Shut up," Trips said.

In another area of the arena, we have Randy Orton walking down the hall, looking for someone. You'd think it was Stacy Keibler, right? Wrong. It's Batista.

"Dave, I've been looking all over!" Randy called to Batista once he found him leaning back on a wall somewhere in the hallway between his and Evolution's locker rooms.

"Hey, man. What's the matter?" Batista inquired in recognition that Orton had an issue. It was like they were already friends again. Oh, what a fresh feeling for these two. For the curse of the Future element of Evolution to be broken.

"Look, man. I just want to say congratulations," Randy plainly stated.

"Thanks, but for what?" Batista asked him.

"For doing the right thing, staying on Raw, and finally leaving Ric Flair to kiss Triple H's ass by himself," Randy explained.

"Oh. Well, then. Since Evolution's dead and all, and I know you've got Stace, where does that leave Kristin and me?" the Big Dave pondered out loud.

"You just said it," the Legend Champion responded.

"Bah, man. She's too loyal to Nache anyway. Besides, I didn't ditch Evolution over a girl who doesn't even show up here. I just want the World Heavyweight Title," Batista said.

"Batista, you don't know the half of it, man. I'm glad that you could come to your senses and bring the thumbs down yourself before having to take it and get the hell beat out of you. I mean, now you're free again. You can do your little socialization around. Maybe even talk to Tyson and Christian a little bit, go around and do whatever you want to do. The riches ain't worth the crap, man. That was a good decision."

"Speaking of good decisions, Randy, I'm afraid that Edge and Christian haven't made a good decision," Stacy Keibler suddenly appeared, reporting the news.

"What happened?"

"Christian went on a tirade about how much he hates you. I think he's all bent out of shape because you clapped for Shawn Michaels," Stacy explained the picture to him.

"I'll leave you two alone to talk about this yourselves," Batista decided, walking off.

"Because I clapped for Shawn Michaels. Wow, that's pathetic," the Man of Destiny thought out loud, expecting an answer from Stacy.

"You wanna know what's pathetic, Orton boy?" Christian suddenly burst out of nowhere to confront him.

"Come on, man! When that tag team match against Evolution went down, and I'm talking about when I had that concussion, he's the one who brought me to the medical room and looked after me with Stacy. Not you, not Edge, but Shawn Michaels! Knowing that, and his legendary record, I couldn't keep hating the man over some crap that happened while I was still in Evolution."

"Evolution? Shut up, Orton! You've already forgotten that you can't use Evolution to prove a point against me, cause I feel like kicking your head in right now! So because he takes care of you like a 'Good Legend Samaritan', you're gonna forget about every man he's screwed over the years?"

"You're supposed to be Captain Charisma, the Peep Man, the Show Stealer! What the hell happened to your charismatic attitude, huh?"

"My charismatic attitude has taken a small back seat to the fact that some idiot from the City of the Sunken Rams who's supposed to be my friend is actually showing homage to my worst enemy! You piss me off, Orton!"

And with that, Christian slapped Orton hard on the left cheek. However, before he could turn around to do anything, Edge appeared in just as much an unknown fashion and Speared the kid. Stacy ran away.

"This is what you get for selling us short for that screwball HBK! How does it feel to _be_ sold short, huh?" Edge yelled into Orton's ear as he went down.

Stacy, fortunately for her opinions, was running in Batista's direction. In fact, she was very close to approacing the Big Dave.

"Batista, you've gotta help me! Edge and Christian just showed up, they started talking about how much they hate Randy for hailing Shawn Michaels, then they just beat him up. You just have to show up for-"

"Hey, stop!" he abruptly halted her frantic whining. "Look, Stace. Just because I've broken free from Evolution doesn't mean I've got a new job protecting people's girlfriends."

Batista walked off, Stacy wondering what to do when the Big Dave was met by the Problem Solver, Tyson Tomko.

"Batista. You talkin' to Orton?" Tyson immediately asked him.

"I heard your partners got a problem with him because he respects Shawn Michaels," Batista answered. "Yeah, we just had a little chat, then Edge and Christian showed up. He's in bad condition."

"Well, good, cause that's just the way you should be. Talking to a pro-Michaels freak. You should be ashamed of yourself," Tomko said, continuing the bashing session for the Heartbreak Kid.

"You said all the attention on me was pathetic, and you're the most dominant big man on Raw?" Batista reminded and questioned Tomko on what he had said during tonight's show.

"Yeah, what about it?"

"I'll look forward to a match with you, just to teach you a lesson."

Batista then walked off, apparently feeling his job was complete.

"Hey!" Tomko called, bringing Batista's attention and about to issue him that Big Boot, when the Leviathan ducked and gave the Problem Solver the Decapitation clothesline.

"Serves you right," Batista calmly said, trying again to make his steps in a direction distant from the insane situation.

"What the hell happened to him?" Edge asked Christian, obviously seeing the events after his own and questioning Tyson's decision to confront the Capital Destroyer known only as Batista.

"Beats me," Christian told the man who would be his best man if he had a wedding coming up. "Now we've gotta carry the big guy to the plane. Damn."

"Not to mention that my image in front of Lita has become pathetic," Edge stated, causing his friend to stare incredulously at him with this question spoken from the mind.

"My god, Edge. Does everything have to come back to Lita?"


	12. A Truly Angry Man

Disclaimer: This is unassociated with any of my other stories, and I do not own any of the members of this story. I simply write this story due to my interest in Raw, especially with these certain Superstars that have major roles.

Pairings: References to both Edge/Lita and Kane/Lita as well as Orton/Stacy.

Rating Info: This story is rated PG-13, as all of my stories are, for safety purposes.

**_The Stones of Raw_** by **Prime Time, Legend Champion**

Chapter 12: A Truly Angry Man

Following 2/28/2005 episode of Raw

Dunkin Donuts Arena in Providence, RI

Tonight, the World Heavyweight Champion, Triple H, had a great reason to be angry. His own comrade chose to destroy him and betray him, claiming that it was time for Batista to come for the World Title. The Game came out, apparently dressed to compete, but nobody announced an opponent for him. He looked completely angry because of Batista's actions last week. Now, it was time for Triple H to speak. But beforehand, he had to hear the people chant Batista's name. He was in a supremely bad mood, and he looked like he was about to explode on somebody in the audience. There were even signs putting Batista over Triple H, like "Raw Is Batista" and "Game Over". Trips asked if there's anyone in the arena who thinks he's afraid of Batista, and everyone screamed yes. Then, he guesses that we think at WrestleMania that Batista will beat him and take his World Heavyweight Title. Again, the people cheered yes. He then proceeded to remind the people who he is; Triple H, the Game, the best in this business, and that is no catch phrase or T-shirt to put asses in seats. Rather, it is fact. He was telling them to look anywhere and everywhere, but there is nobody who can do what he does better than him, and all of a sudden, just because Batista sat under the learning tree for two hours, he's the guy? According to the Game, Batista is a 300-pound child, and he is his father in this ring and holds all the answers. But now, the boy thinks he has what it takes to be the man. Trips told the people that when a boy tries his father, the father beats some sense into the ingrate son and teaches him a lesson that he will never forget. He did commend Batista on doing really good and being on a roll, but at WrestleMania, he will teach him the difference between doing good and being good. After dropping the mic, he continued to do some shouting, and then The Hurricane came out. Apparently, there is a match, and Hurricane is his opponent. However, Trips is immediately and viciously dominant over him, and the bell probably didn't even ring. Several times, Hurricane was rammed into the steel steps, and he was completely helpless. Trips, in all his anger, Pedigreed Hurricane onto the steel Raw ramp, then immediately retook his Championship and microphone, claiming that if Batista shows up, he will get beat within an inch of his life because the Game is that damn good. What an in-your-face and temperamental warning Triple H just gave to Batista.

Chris Benoit immediately came out for his one on one affair with Muhammad Hassan. Chris Benoit had the momentum against Muhammad early, seeing as how he was the angry one tonight. However, Daivari can somehow annoy me with his constant talking even without a microphone. Soon, though, Hassan starts trying to build offense, but no luck at all. Before Hassan can fire any consistent offense, he almost takes the Crippler Crossface, and then Benoit gets so tired of hearing the annoying Daivari that he chases him and takes a huge clothesline. Now, Hassan is experiencing control, and Daivari is continuing to mouth off like a motor, and taking USA chants during one moment of the match act. After a backbreaker move, Daivari instructed Hassan to cover Benoit, but he wasted enough time for the Rabid Wolverine to kick out. It was then Benoit's turn to get some small offense, and eventually, he got to the multiple German suplex combo. Couldn't get off #3 because Hassan held on to the ropes, and the back of Benoit's head hit the referee. Daivari gave Hassan the ring bell, and then Benoit went for a flying headbutt as Hassan was downed with the ring bell in hand. Benoit hooked the headbutt, because Hassan didn't put the bell in the right place. Eventually, Muhammad lost his first match on Raw by disqualification for using a low blow and walked away as the referee came to.

The video sequence of Edge assaulting Shawn Michaels after the tag team match in which Michaels and Randy Orton defeated Edge and Christian played on.

After it was _finally_ announced that **Hulk Hogan** was going to be inducted in the Hall of Fame, Batista just showed up, shook hands with a couple of police officers, and then was interrupted in his walk by Coach, who then informed him that Triple H said he'll beat him "within an inch of your life". Batista then said he was going to thank him for unleasing the Animal. Speaking of the Cerebral Assassin, the Nature Boy showed up and told him Batista was here, then proceeded to egg him into the art of beating the hell out of Batista when Trips suddenly said he had a better idea.

They then showed a video about Christy Hemme's Playboy shoot. Shelton Benjamin came out, and this was apparently a third straight Intercontinental Championship defense against Gene Snitsky. This time, disqualification is just as much a way to lose the match and the Intercontinental Championship for the Champion as it is for the challenger. In other words, get disqualified, you lose the Title, it's zero tolerance from Eric Bischoff. Gene Snitsky immediately started overpowering Shelton. When he was going to take a Pump Handle Slam, he got out of it and hooked a reverse DDT, and then Snitsky eventually had enough control to get a steel chair and try to hit Benjamin with it again. However, this time, Shelton ended up getting control for good with a counter of an Alabama Slam into a DDT, and eventually got in a Stinger Splash and T-Bone Suplex. The result: 1, 2, 3. We now know that Shelton Benjamin is the WWE Intercontinental Champion.

After the events surrounding John Bradshaw Layfield and his Celebration of Excellence on Smackdown showed up on our weekly edition of Smackdown Rebound, we were noted that next, we would hear a major announcement as it relates to the flagship Pay-Per-View of the wrestling business for the year 2005, WrestleMania 21. The announcement: Piper's Pit is back, with Steve Austin as the guest. How awesome is that? Two of the most controversial egos in WWE history are going to stand together at WrestleMania 21, one asking the other questions, and an entirely entertaining segment. For those of you who can order WrestleMania, you'd better.

Anyway, Chris Masters came out to destroy some kid in a match, but as he was coming out, some severe damage and breakage in Steven Richards' face bones last week was shown as the results of a double sledge shot Masters issued it in the unveiling last week. Anyway, he destroyed some kid in a match, and then we took a look at The Rock's new "Be Cool" movie. He might as well quit his WWE contract, he's so busy making movies!

After they showed the footage of the Batista situation from last week, Jim Ross stood in the middle of the ring to introduce Big Dave for an interview. People love Batista everywhere now. After the ovatious entrance, Jim Ross asked Batista why he did what he did and stayed on Raw. The Leviathan then said that all the Future of Evolution's accomplishments (Randy Orton and Batista) were all about Triple H, and he decided to stay and do something about it rather than go to Smackdown and leave Raw to Triple H. He also said that like the song says, "It's all about the game and how you play it", and the Game got played. Asked if he had any second thoughts, he said no, and that he already knew he was going to be staying on Raw to defeat Triple H for the World Heavyweight Title. Then, out came Ric Flair and Triple H. Batista was surrounded. It looked like we were entering a fight, and then Flair took a shot. If Trips was loyal, he would have gotten in right then and there, but he stopped. Batista picked up Flair to give him a spine buster. Again, Trips cowered out of jumping Batista. And he did so _yet again_ after Flair took a Batista Bomb.

We next saw Trips in Eric Bischoff's office, talking about how livid he is that Batista did what he did to Ric Flair, and the ensuing dialogue revealed that Ric Flair had a match next week against Batista, with Triple H in his corner to make sure Batista got the hell beat out of him.

But next, we saw a one-on-one match between Chris Jericho and Maven. Jericho enjoyed a lot of early control, eventually hanging up Maven on the top rope and getting in a springboard dropkick to knock him to the outside before any significant offense. However, Maven eventually enjoyed a minute of working on Jericho's neck and spinal cord. Jericho soon retook advantage and got Maven within the Walls of Jericho. The Virgin Opportunist saw no opportunity but to tap out. Jericho then took a microphone and said he came out with an agenda to make a statement, because WrestleMania 21 is less than five weeks away. He then went on to mention just about everything we know about WrestleMania, and he then said he had an idea to make history. He said it had to do with him, five other Superstars, and a giant steel ladder. Christy Hemme was then shown in a white dress, making her way to the ring. Jerry Lawler said it was to unveil Christy's Playboy Magazine cover. If this is true, my opinion of the cover will be posted here.

After an entertaining court session between John Cena and JBL to promote their WrestleMania match became our next trailer, Christy Hemme came out and thanked the fans because if it wasn't for them, she wouldn't be here in the WWE, much less posing for Playboy. She then said that she was going to show the fans a new side of her, and then revealed the cover as if it were a portrait. It's hot, but not exactly what'll make me explode. But that's probably because I don't know what's in the pages. Anyway, Trish Stratus came out and accused Christy of once again trying to steal her spotlight. But, tonight is a special night, since it's not every day Christy's on the cover of Playboy and looks sexy and marvelous like tonight. However, there was something wrong. She then said that Christy wasn't a champion, so she spray painted red over the word "champion" and Christy's face on the cover image. Christy then slapped Trish, who gave her a Chick Kick and spray painted the word "slut" on the back of Christy's dress; the T didn't fit on the dress, so it went on Christy. But as of that moment, Christy Hemme's dignity was officially taken. I think Triple H admires the evil, but who else does? SHUT UP!

WWE Raw continued with a replay of the Hall of Fame display which showed that Hulk Hogan was now an inductee. How great is that? The legend who **inspired** the legend that is Edge and Christian, the Hulkster, the Immortal, the man of the 1990s, Hulk Hogan. And he's finally in the Hall of Fame. Now, that, according to Edge and Christian, must absolutely reek of awesomeness.

Stacy Keibler was seen with the Original "Superstar" Billy Graham, and Candace appeared, glad to meet him. Stacy then pointed out about Hogan's induction to the Hall of Fame. Then, Randy Orton showed up. The two girls excused the Legend Champion and the established legend to have a talk. Billy then talked to Randy about being unique and special like he was, and doing something no one has done before. After the discussion was over, Randy revealed to us that's exactly what he was thinking as he put down a magazine he was reading. It was the Smackdown magazine featuring the colossal Undertaker and his undefeated record at WrestleMania. Does this mean Orton has some kind of plan to defeat the Dead Man's grand stage legacy?

Following this newfound controversy came an interview between Maria and Edge. Maria actually wanted to know how Edge feels about the street fight coming up. He then made a point about how Maria somehow decided not to overlook him like Shawn Michaels did before when he got beat at the Royal Rumble by Edge. And now, Michaels is apparently so focused on Kurt Angle at WrestleMania that he's overlooking Edge again? Edge said he wasn't going to allow Michaels to make it to WrestleMania. You could tell he had a tinge of major anger in his voice. Maria was almost petrified by the time Edge left.

The street fight started intensely, though Shawn Michaels took a great early advantage, whipping Edge in the back and taking a picture of him just to embarrass him. However, as soon as he took time to get out a ladder, referring to Jericho's previous announcement, Edge took control with a trash can to the head. In the ring, we soon saw Shawn get bloodied by an Edgecution to a steel chair set up in the middle of the ring. Soon after the break, the controlled and bleeding Michaels tried to pick up the ladder from the outside the second time, but when he brought it into the ring, Edge dropkicked it into his face. However, when he got up to the top, Michaels threw the chair at him and sent him to the outside, and then made a really sloppy suicide dive. Eventually, Shawn took a drop toe hold to the ladder, and then took a huge splash. He managed to kick out, and then eventually started getting on fire, but missed a Sweet Chin Music and took a low blow. Edge's edge eventually led to a one-man Con-chair'to about to take Shawn's head, which saved itself via low blow. Eventually, Michaels kicked out of a Spear, and won the match due to Sweet Chin Music, but then Kurt Angle shockingly appeared from the crowd to beat the crap out of Shawn Michaels, and then declared that he accepted the challenge, all before security could walk out here to escort the Olympian out of the arena! And, get this: at the end of the night, Kurt was admiring his patchwork, and people were chanting his name! Edge may not have singlehandedly ensured that Michaels will not make it to WrestleMania, but you can bet he has had a hand in weakening the Showstopper prior to the latest version of the grandest stage of them all.

Randy Orton and Stacy Keibler were talking in the hallway.

"Hey, Stace. I heard Lita's coming next week for a little visit," Randy informed her. "But it's not gonna be during the show."

"Yeah, I don't think she wants to get crowded during injury, so she's gonna come in a more quiet way. That includes staying off the show," Stacy pointed out details to the Legend Killer.

"Which reminds me. When will Matt actually come back to Raw? I mean, how long has it been? About six and a half months? And wasn't the diagnosis that he was out for six?" Randy asked, beginning to wonder exactly what's going on with the Sensei of Mattitude.

"I don't know, maybe it's a little worse than we thought," Stacy mentioned. "That's how it always happens. It took Holly, Lita, Benoit, Edge, and some others more than the supposed year to come back from a neck injury and pop up here again."

"But Kurt Angle had a surgery that made his broken neck only keep him out two months," Randy said, hearing Stacy sigh in frustration as soon as she heard Angle's name.

"You know, I just can't believe that guy. How dare he suddenly appear in the middle of the show and assault Shawn Michaels like that. That's just completely disrespectful behavior," Stacy complained about what Kurt Angle did to end the show.

"Stace, I'm no advocate of Kurt Angle, but considering his track record, he's proud of himself," Randy said plainly.

"And that's why I hate him. He's proud of ambushing a man who went through a death defying match!" Stacy complained to Orton.

"Hey, you, there. Yeah, you. Randy, I heard you're challenging The Undertaker to a match at WrestleMania," Maven suddenly appeared from behind Orton.

"Okay, Maven, what do you want?" Randy asked.

"Nothing. I just came to join into your little talk. You know, since the topic is coming closer to being WrestleMania with every word you guys say," Maven concluded out loud. "So, Randy; I'm curious."

"About what?" Orton asked him.

"About the idea that Jericho's got. You know, five Superstars other than himself, a very big steel ladder. I wonder if I'm gonna be a part of this," Maven said. "It would be kind of nice for my first WrestleMania match to be a ladder match."

"Yeah, I guess it would. But I have the opportunity of a lifetime. The chance to do the impossible, the event that has never been done before. I get to retire the Lord of Darkness by defeating him at WrestleMania," Randy boasted, envisioning the future according to his eyes. "See, when I face and defeat Undertaker at the event he's never lost in before, I'll know firsthand that I have accomplished a pinnacle of power, and the Dead Man will realize that he's growing too old for this. When that happens, he'll slowly retreat back to his dark lair wherever the hell it is, or to his normal home in Houston to be with Sara Callaway. Either way, Taker's not gonna wrestle again after I'm done with him, and it'll be purely psyche."

"Wow, great confidence. But if you cheat or scheme to do it, you're not gonna have those effects," Maven said. "He'll know you cheated."

"Yeah, just like when you eliminated him from behind in Royal Rumble '02 and he came back into that ring to beat the living crap out of you," Orton immediately reminded Maven.

"Considering his powerless state back then, that won't look good on my résumé for getting a World Title shot, so be quiet," Maven ordered Randy.

"Hey, the World Title isn't the only thing you've got to worry about. Apparently, there is no title that thinks you're worthy enough to grab it," Randy abated the bald man in front of him.

"Well, if you challenge The Undertaker for WrestleMania, you will be forced to rest in peace," Maven threatened the man who gave us signs that he was going to make that challenge, before walking off.

"You're not really about to make that challenge, are you?" Stacy asked Randy, concerned for him.

"That's for me to know and you to find out," he said.

"Oh, my god," she coolly panicked.

Within the Evolution locker room, Ric Flair is sitting with his head down, and judging from the attack he got from Batista earlier tonight, hardly able to stand. Triple H is standing there next to him, and decides to take a seat and put an arm around his friend's shoulder.

"Nache, I want you to know that I am fully confident in your ability to defeat the disrespectful piece of crap Batista next week," Trips tried to lift the Nature Boy's spirits. "And it won't even take Trish to do it, man."

"Trips, listen. I'm not in the physical condition to be reminded that I have to face Batista next week. I can't even go to the club tonight because of that beast," Flair pointed out. Suddenly, the door opened, and enter Trish Stratus.

"Ha ha ha, guys! Did you see what I did to Christy Hemme earlier tonight? That was incredible! Taking that spray paint and writing the word 'slut' down on her back, that had to be rich and amazing!" Trish said, obviously high off her accomplishment tonight. The two boys looked at her with unentertained expressions on their faces, though, and she noticed. "Not a happy family moment, huh?"

"Even though I admired the evil material, I'm not in a good mood, Trish," Trips told her, confirming the Royal Cloud Babe's latest opinion. "Ric can barely stand up on his two feet because his spine was so tingled from Batista tonight, and I am pissed off because my friend, the Nature Boy, had to take that in front of my face!"

"And like a typical smart man, you didn't intervene and end up getting yourself injured in the process," Trish finished the story with a different tune, admiring the Game's cool through this situation. "But seriously, guys, come on. Look. I've got Muhammad outside, and he and Daivari are waiting for us. You can't possibly tell me that you'd rather continue to feel Batista's effects than go and show our disgruntled Arab American friends a good time."

"Get them over here to help Nache out. He's gonna have some problems stayin' on his own two feet for a good part of tonight," Trips then gave Trish the barking order. She then went outside, and right there were Muhammad Hassan and Khoz Daivari.

"Yeah, the Dirtiest Player in the Game needs a little help standing up on his own two feet," Trish infomed the Arab Renegade and the Motormouth of Iran. "So, would one of you be so kind as to-"

"Gladly," Muhammad cut in, knowing exactly what she was going to suggest.

Speaking of suggestions, we know that Chris Masters never suggested to Randy Orton or Batista that the Legend Killer actually make that challenge to The Undertaker for WrestleMania. But, he did. And now, both the Masterpiece and Big Dave are here to question him.

"You sure you actually wanna do this?" Batista asked his young friend in concern.

"What, challenge The Undertaker?"

"And at WrestleMania, too. Don't you know that's how a lot of people end up saying that part of them has died? Even Steve Austin-"

"Has been sacrificed by this guy during his Ministry of Darkness, right? Well, guess what, Masters: wrestlers don't make a living being afraid," Randy cut off one of his "in monster shape" friends.

"Can we please focus on happier things? You know, like, the comedy of finding out which of you two has the greatest physique?" Stacy asked, obviously referring to Masters and Batista.

"Before you even get into that, kids, I'd like to make an announcement," a voice suddenly spoke from behind Stacy. Turns out it was Kurt Angle.

"Well, if it isn't the most uphauling figure who showed up on Raw today," Stacy commented.

"Uphauling? How about opportunistic? Because that's what I really am," Kurt corrected her.

"Opportunistic my foot! What you did goes beyond taking advantage of Shawn Michaels prior to WrestleMania!" Stacy shouted, turning her body towards him.

"I embarrassed him! Yes, I know, Stacy. But if you continue to hate me for doing something that you would have promoted back in your Dudleyville day, you're a hypocrite!"

"Don't call me a hypocrite, or I'll make sure you-"

"Make sure I what, Miss Hancock?" he asked her. "Make sure I no longer have the ability to admire your legs?"

"You were staring at it behind my back?" she angrily accused the Olympian.

"No, you idiot! I meant that when my eyes do come across those legs, I admire them no longer how little attention I pay to them. That's how glorious it is, and Mr. RKO over here is lucky to have you," Kurt mentioned. "But, then again; I have a wife. And that comment I made before your most recent outburst in this conversation is the rhetorical question of are you gonna do something so I can't see!"

"You've made your point here, man. Stacy's hot. That's the most obvious point you could ever make when talking to either her or me, so back off," Randy said.

"Hey, I'm done here. I saw you in the back, looking at Undertaker's magazine. If you want to challenge him for WrestleMania, the only chance is if you do something opportunistic. You know, like me," the American Hero informed the Legend Champion. With that, Angle started walking away, but suddenly stopped.

"Randy, I'm serious. Look into what I just said, and you'll realize I'm right. Trust me, it's the best piece of advice you could get if you're gonna face death," he warned Randy. The only Olympic Gold Medalist in WWE history then proceeded to make his exit, leaving Randy Orton, Stacy Keibler, and a couple of over-fit friends speechless.


	13. Surprise Return

Disclaimer: This is unassociated with any of my other stories, and I do not own any of the members of this story. I simply write this story due to my interest in Raw, especially with these certain Superstars that have major roles.

Pairings: References to both Edge/Lita and Kane/Lita, Randy/Stacy developing works.

Rating Info: This story is rated PG-13, as all of my stories are, for safety purposes.

**_The Stones of Raw_** by **Prime Time, Legend Champion**

Chapter 13: Surprise Return

Following 3/7/2005 episode of Raw

RBC Center at North Carolina State University in Raleigh, NC

Yet another excuse for Triple H to be angry. He got played again last week. And tonight, I'm sure things are going to blow over, for that and other reasons. Such as Kane not being present, Gene Snitsky losing to Shelton Benjamin last week, Chris Jericho's awesome idea, the overlooking of Edge and Christian, Randy Orton's challenge issued to The Undertaker, and just about everything that makes Raw, well… Raw.

Tonight's event, which emanated from… well, look up top. Anyway, tonight's show began with the Showstopper, the Heartbreak Kid, Shawn Michaels! He's got a brand new X HBK shirt, and back to his old celebrative attitude. Unfortunately, then they showed the assault that Kurt Angle had given Shawn Michaels last week on Raw, but skipped HBK's intervention in the Smackdown Kurt Angle Invitational. Michaels said that despite what happened at the Royal Rumble, he was really hoping that he and Kurt Angle could go to WrestleMania, make a wrestling classic, tear the house down, and give the people something to talk about for years to come. But, that all changed when last week, Angle decided to come to Raw's house and leave Michaels bloody and unconscious after the toughest street fight of Shawn's career. And, to prove he was a doormat to no one, Shawn retaliated by showing up on Smackdown and beating up Kurt Angle during the Invitational. Then, Michaels showed the footage of such, and questioned Kurt's rage, though he figured out it represented the doubt that Angle had because despite everything, he hadn't gotten to face Mr. WrestleMania at WrestleMania. After the Showstopper's speech was finished, Kurt Angle then showed up on the Titantron from the WWE studios and proceeded to reveal that in 1996, when Angle won the gold medal for his country, all he was getting was questions about when he's turning pro and Shawn Michaels doing the hang glider thing and putting on a wrestling clinic (in the ironman match against… for all anti-Michaels Canadians, Bret Hart). Angle was sickened, and it went against everything he ever worked for. He also said that Michaels' records will be shattered in four weeks and could have been shattered back when Angle went to the Olympics if he had come to the WWE instead. He then gave the disturbing farewell that it's hard to deliver Sweet Chin Music with an ankle split in two. Triple H then came out for a match against Rosey.

Rosey came out flying in the beginning of the match, but when he went for a moonsault and crashed and burned, it became only a matter of time before Trips got seriously physical and eventually Pedigreed Rosey down. Not only that, the Cerebral Assassin then took a sledgehammer from under the ring and crippled Rosey's ribs.

He then came to the Evolution locker room in the back and boasted all over about the event, but noticed that something was wrong with the Nache, who revealed that he was nervous because Trips put him in this match against Batista. Trips then went on to mention Ric's legendary record, and assured him that he and the sledgehammer would also be there.

Chris Jericho, Shelton Benjamin, Chris Benoit, Edge, and Christian were in Eric Bischoff's office, when Bischoff appeared and said that he approved Jericho's idea for the six man ladder match, and all five men were participants in it. Edge complained about why he should be in this and started to give Bischoff the cold shoulder on the issue, but it was revealed to be a "money in the bank" ladder match, and there was a briefcase suspended up high with a contract for a World Heavyweight Championship match that can be held all the way into the next year, including WrestleMania 22 if you've got enough patience. He then announced three matches: Benoit vs. Benjamin, Edge vs. Jericho, and Christian… well, he actually thought that he was getting the night off because he's such an awesome ladder match competitor. Unfortunately for him, he was facing the sixth man, and that match was next.

To remind the ladder match competitors what was going down, a ladder was propped at the bottom of the ramp for their matches. The sixth man, as it turned out, was Kane, much to the dismay of the Peep Man. Though Tyson Tomko made a good piece of interference in the beginning, it did no good eventually, as Kane rebounded from Christian's mean streak and eventually issued him the Chokeslam to Hell. From there, it was 1, 2, 3. Randy Orton and Stacy Keibler were out in the parking lot, and Stacy was asking Randy if he really wanted to make his official challenge to WrestleMania. The Legend Killer said he had to. Somewhere within Christian's advantage in the Christian-Kane match, people were actually chanting "You Suck".

Next, it was Edge versus Chris Jericho. I don't have much detail, because I was watching something else up until the end, but apparently, Chris was locking on Edge's left arm, which was injured in last week's street fight, and Edge had Jericho's ribs in mind for target point. Once, though, Chris got in the Walls of Jericho, but not really, because Edge kicked Jericho off before being able to get turned around. With that move, he wound up winning. The back of Jericho's head had blown back into the referee's forehead. Edge once took momentum shortly thereafter and went for a Spear, but ended up getting thrown out by Chris Jericho. He then went for the ladder, but the Ayatollah of Rock-N-Rolla sidestepped him and gave him a drop toe hold for his efforts, forcing him to drop the ladder. However, when Jericho got the lionsault on Edge, his cover - and the fans' count - amounted to nothing. Edge followed up after recovering himself after Jericho realized and got off by grabbing the ladder and attacking Jericho with a low blow using it. He immediately took the ladder out of the ring before granting Jericho a piece of Edgecution. The ref is finally up, it's 1, 2, 3. For the first time since the 2003 neck injury almost two years ago, Edgecution is used as a direct finisher. Somewhere before any of the rising action of the match, people were chanting "We Want Matt", since North Carolina is the hometown where the 3 Xtreme, Matt Hardy included. When Jim Ross talked about who the members of the ladder match were during this one on one encounter, the first names he mentioned, in these exact words, were "Edge and Christian". It had to be spoken that it was every man for himself for JR and some people in his situation to remember.

Eric Bischoff and Coach were in office. Coach was telling Bischoff about how much of a genius he is, and Eric told Coach his idea for "Pick the Poison Monday", an alternating period of two weeks in which Trips and Batista could pick each other's opponent. Oh, and that's only Bischoff gettin' started.

Randy Orton then came out dressed in a suit, talking about his life as a kid being "Cowboy" Bob Orton's son, stating how he was cool being the son of a professional wrestler, and being proud now that he could induct his dad into the Hall of Fame. He then went on to mention that he has made some very unpopular decisions in his time, but this isn't a popularity contest, it's about making an impact. He then provocatively challenged (by saying he would defeat and end the winning streak of) The Undertaker. At that point, many people booed him. He even said that the legend of Undertaker would become a myth, courtesy of the Legend Killer! One can tell that wasn't going over well with the fans. Eric Bischoff then came out and congratulated Orton on making such a brave challenge, because it meant that with two wins over Smackdown, Raw was going to win the show, and Eric Bischoff would be commended for his great accomplishments as a general manager on Raw. Randy Orton then talked about Bischoff's ownership of WCW, and about the 88 straight weeks WCW spent beating then WWF in ratings. The two agreed that Bischoff was a sort of legend, though our boss's agreement ended tentatively after he realized what the result could very well be. The result: a slightly unpopular RKO.

After a tough match, Chris Benoit eventually beat Shelton Benjamin with the Crippler Crossface.

We saw Coach and Bischoff sitting down at office. Coach was concerned about whether Bischoff was okay or (obviously) not because of the RKO, and then Daivari came barging in with Iranian Hate Crap. Bischoff demanded what is going on, and then Muhammad Hassan accused Bischoff of discrimination for not being in the ladder match. Our esteemed General Manager specifically explained that he put them in the match based on their past success at WrestleMania, but Hassan just couldn't shut up about his undefeated record on Raw. He then called Bischoff a gutless GM for keeping him out of WrestleMania, claiming that this isn't over before walking on. Daivari spat some Iranian Crap again. After the Smackdown Rebound showed how John Cena lost his United States Championship to John Bradshaw Layfield's Chief of Staff, Orlando Jordan, we returned to live Raw to witness William Regal and Tajiri checking out Christy Hemme's Playboy issue when Trish Stratus interrupted and took the cover herself, looking at the images with utter scorn on her face.

Christy then came out, saying she had something to say, but she had to say it face to face to Trish Stratus. She had to egg her on for about twenty five seconds. Trish, after coming out, guessed that Christy wanted her out here for a big announcement about Playboy hitting the stands on Friday. Trish then joked that if asked nicely, Christy will autograph the word "slut" on the magazine, then "made sure" Christy knew how to spell it. The Quarter Million Girl didn't exactly take these jokes lightly, and said she came to challenge Trish for the Women's Championship. The Stratusfaction Princess laughed at first, but then realized Christy was serious, and here's her response:

"Honey, I am a six time Women's Champion. If you get into the ring with me, it will not be for a lingerie pillow fight. It will not be to shoot T-shirts. If you get into the ring with me, I will end your career, just like that. Are you sure that's what you want?"

Christy confirmed it strongly, and Trish accepted the challenge, then asked her what makes Christy think she can get in the ring with the greatest Women's Champion ever and actually think she can beat her? Christy said someone was training her to wrestle. Trish jested and said she didn't know Hugh Hefner trained people, but Hemme said, not him. It's someone you know very well. Turns out that someone's name is… get this one, people. It's Lita! The Queen of Extreme's entrance shockingly came up, and Lita herself came out to the adulation of the audience, then got in Trish's face. That set her up for the Twist of Fate from behind, the Reversal Fate! The delivery was made by none other than Christy. Lita said, "How do you like that?" to begin some trash talking that Edge - and Kane - probably enjoyed in the back, then raised Christy's hand as her music came on. The two walked up the ramp, united, confident, anti-Stratus.

Speaking of Trish, her two remaining backstage boys in Evolution, Ric Flair and Triple H, continued to brag about the plan. Bischoff suddenly interrupted with security, saying that he wasn't going to let Trips show up if he was going to bear the sledgehammer and jeopardize the World Heavyweight Championship main event match at WrestleMania. Trips agreed to let go of the hammer after a little submission, sending Nature Boy into a frenzy. Next week in Atlanta, Batista has picked Triple H's poison: Chris Benoit. Brand entrance factors: Batista had a new Titantron video sequence, and Flair came out with Trips to the Evolution music.

Though we're in Flair Country here in North Carolina, fans mainly chanted for Batista, who took momentum from the moment the first grapple took place. After six punches atop Flair at the turnbuckle, Batista came down, only to witness the Dirtiest Player in the Game do his old man's flop. After one more power move from Batista to Flair, Trips got on the apron to distract the Leviathan. It worked, and Flair got a chop block, enjoying momentary control. The Nache continued to work on the knee of Batista in order to get him into the Figure Four leg lock. He did, and Trips gave him unfair leverage. Suddenly, Batista turned the move so quickly so Flair took the impact that it made the old legend look like an ordinary pathetic old man. Soon, Batista got the perfected People's version of the spine buster, and then showed thumbs up, thumbs down to Triple H once again. Trips then tried to assault Big Dave, who did not let it happen. He then issued Flair the Batista Bomb and covered for the win, so you can understand that he didn't expect a chop block from Triple H, who went from under the ring and found another religious to evil game sledge hammer. He's outsmarted anyone who didn't see that obvious scheme coming. Anyway, Batista blocked him, took the hammer from him, and scared him to hell by breaking the hammer in half. WrestleMania 21's coming: whose World Championship? And who could challenge for it at any time up until April 3rd, 2006?

We see three people who are going to be within the six-man "money in the bank" ladder match. Of course, only two of them will actually make for legal competitors within the match, but the bald one is very likely to help at least one of his two common partners out. The three men are Tyson Tomko (the bald one), Edge, and Christian.

"Man, that sucked," Christian complained. "I had to be the guy suckered into meeting Kane! Damnit!"

"Hey, it's not my fault you've got a problem with him, people," Edge said, showing a lack of sympathy for Christian's whining.

"I know that if it wasn't for Kane and Batista, I'd be the big man in consideration for the World Heavyweight Title," Tomko took his turn to grumble as he willed.

"Pffh. Please. Not like there'd be a big man in consideration," Edge spoke his opinion with a devliish smirk.

"What the hell is up with you today? You're happy with us being miserable. Is that it?" Christian asked his friend, in some sort of concern.

"No, Christian. That's not even close. But even though you two may have sucked up tonight, my night was absolutely magnificent!" Edge boasted. "First of all, I've got an opportunity for the World Heavyweight Championship, and you should know all about that, Christian; it's the same chance you have. And trust me; I'm gonna do everything it takes to win, as you saw when I used that ladder to give Jericho the low blow - cheating it was, but cheating _by myself_ - and, unlike you, got in Edgecution and won the match from that. That was for the first time since that neck injury Kurt Angle's team gave me in 2003. Not only am I a shoo-in for that match, but-"

"Hey, hold on a second. If there's any shoo-in for this match, it's me. I have beaten everybody in this match, except for that aging wolf Chris Benoit, that big buffoon Kane, and Shelton Benjamin, who stole my votes at Taboo Tuesday!" Christian half boasted, half complained.

"How long are you gonna keep riding that goose?" Edge asked Captain Charisma, obviously ignoring his own same situation.

"I oughta ask you the same thing!" Christian shot back.

"I think JR already did," Tyson answered with a smirk. "Besides, Christian and I did beat Shelton in a tag team match once."

"Shut the hell up, you big gorilla, and wash off that stinktatude. Ever since Kane kicked you off him with that boot, it's been all over you," Edge joked to the Problem Solver using the Awesomeness lingo. Tomko looked like he was about to attack Edge, but Christian held him back.

"Relax, man, I'm just joking," Edge said, laughing it off and trying to get Tomko to do the same. Not quite what happened, but the King of Tattoo calmed down. "Hey, at least I didn't call you Goat Boy. Anyway, not only am I confident that I will win the ladder match, but I'm also confident that out little slut problem has just about been handled. Christy now has the last step prior to wrestling experience, and she has challenged Trashy Stratus to a Women's Title match at WrestleMania. And on top of everything, the person training her is none other that the one and only, Lita!"

"Yeah, she's even got her style and everything," Christian gave his commentary. "When you put it that way, this night doesn't suck that bad for everybody other than you here, Edge, but… yeah, I'd have to say it still sucks."

"Teh. I need to try and find Lita. I want to know just how she's perfectly fine today while three weeks ago, her knee was practically killing her," Edge said.

"What are you-"

"She came on Valentine's Day. Hard time. I saw Taker and Kane talking on the street once," Tomko interrupted the Peep Man.

"Taker and Kane, talking," Christian pondered out loud. "Wow, that's a new one."

"Yeah, well so are a lot of things," the King of Tattoo replied.

Suddenly, Edge felt the top of his head getting squirted with water. He looked back and saw…

"Li!"

Tyson and Christian could only smile and laugh as Edge picked up Lita and carried her on his shoulders, the two happy about seeing each other in good health again. Edge proceeded to put her down, leading to a conversation.

"Lita, congrats on training Christy to take out the trash," Edge started.

"Thanks," Lita replied, a proud smile on her face.

"Yeah, tell me about it. You have no idea how long we've been waiting to see this," the Show Stealer was quick to state.

"Shut up, man. It's their moment," Tomko cut in on Christian's fun.

"I have to give in my two cents, you know," Christian told him.

"You're never gonna change," Tomko said, shaking his head and bowing it in a comical shame.

"You're right, I won't," Christian confirmed it for his constant backup.

"How long has this been?" Edge inquired to ask the object of his crush, obviously about the Christy Hemme training.

"How long have you been complaining about Shawn Michaels screwing you out of the World Heavyweight Championship since New Year's Revolution?" Lita asked him, answering his question with a question. "Take five weeks from that, and you've got your answer."

"So, ever since Christy was first insulted, she's been training for this?" Edge guessed, wishing for confirmation from Lita.

"Yeah," Lita answered plainly.

"But that was Valentine's Day!" Edge suddenly realized.

"So?" Lita called for a finish.

"You came here, and you looked in no shape to be training people. How is it now that you're near 100?" the Original AC questioned the Queen of Extreme out of nowhere.

"Gotta admit, Gangrel's potions really work wonders, don't they?" Lita informed him in a slightly facetious way.

"Gangrel's potions?" Edge abruptly halted.

"Ha ha ha, I'm just kidding. Edge, I can't believe you couldn't tell the difference between the true extent of an injury and just plain milking its recovery! That's exactly why Kurt Angle's no longer General Manager of Smackdown!" she revealed through laughs.

"Ha ha, very funny. I was worried to death about you, Lita. You know that. Why joke around with that?" Edge again asked her.

"I just thought it would be fun to do, since I am okay in the end. Besides, Kane figured it out," Lita informed Sparks Mineral.

"What?"

"Being a master predator as the Big Red Machine, one would think I know a wounded person or animal when I see one," Kane burst unexpectedly into the picture.

"So, why didn't you tell me?" Edge demanded Kane's answer.

"Ha ha ha ha, for the same reason as her! I was having too much fun!" he laughingly responded.

With that, Edge just laughed, shook his head, and bowed it. Comical shame.

"I don't know what to do with you people."

"Lita milked it?" Christian asked, turning around to Tomko.

"Yeah," Tomko answered.

"Lita, _Lita_… milked it on Edge?" Christian repeated the question in absolute disbelief.

"Yeah, she did," Tomko repeated his previous answer. He could do naught but release a chuckle. However, that quickly died when Kane gazed at Tyson and Christian with a scornful face.

"Sorry, Kane, but we gotta get the hell outta here," Christian told him, dragging Tomko somewhere. Oh, and he was running.

"Cowards," Kane said to his smirking self in reference to the Problem Solver and Captain Charisma.

"So, how did you like my surprise tonight?" Lita asked Edge about her appearance.

"Beautiful. Sweet. Delicious. Awesome," Edge took some adjectives in order to describe it. "No, better yet, let me tap into my lingo for one little bit here; your surprise reeks of awesomeness."

"Thanks. By the way, speaking of which, I need to go find Christy. I'll be back in a few," Lita told the boys.

"Better idea; we're coming with," Kane said. He grinned a sly grin to Edge, who simply returned it.

Who was Shelton Benjamin talking to this time? You can bet his last name starts with the same letter as Benjamin, has seven letters, and the last letter is the same as the second. That's right, people. Batista.

"Yo, Dave. I'm in, man. I've got a shot at the World Title," Shelton immediately boasted. "The belt that we know is about to be _yours_."

"How do you know you're gonna win this thing? To be frank, I'm a little skeptical about your "sure thing" attitude on this," Batista warned him. "I mean, think about it. You've gotta deal with Kane and the only four men to ever win a TLC tag match. You're basically the outmatched one. After all, you guys were put in this based on past success and experience at WrestleMania, and the only Mania match you were in was about two years ago, when you and Charlie won a 3-way Tag Title match."

"Hey, that was success at WrestleMania. I won as many three way tag title matches at Mania as did Edge _and_ Christian, so if tag team and singles experience have anything to do with each other, WrestleMania doesn't give either of those chumps an advantage over me," Benjamin continued to brag despite his friend's advice.

"You're a ladder match newbie. Your ego can't be there if you're gonna win this match. I'm giving you serious advice here. Maybe it came from Evolution and Triple H, but it's exactly why I'm gonna beat him. Cause I'm not gonna think like that's automatic. I'm not gonna hold back against this guy. I'm gonna make sure that after WrestleMania, that World Heavyweight Title is not all about him anymore," Batista said with great determination. This shocked the Intercontinental Champion, who started to think about a few things.

Before anything in the main stream of this company, Shelton Benjamin had been tag team partners with Charlie Haas, the entire statement being true within both men's perspectives. The experience under Kurt Angle and Paul Heyman had taught Charlie and Shelton a lot more about life in the professional ring, but more important than those parts of it were their time as a tag team. Rolling together until they could no longer, and even after that whenever possible, this Team Angle was much more unified than the one Kurt put together against Big Show in the past few months. Those two are trying to kill each other now. While Reigns and Jindrak are busy trying to kill each other, Haas and Benjamin are going to be tipping each other in on a few secrets and encouraging each other on their now separated roads to success. Shelton realized there's going to be a lot of talking to do, and they'll have to steal a training meet before the grandest stage of them all if he wants to know what to expect from a few people in this match, namely the four Tables, Ladders, and Chairs match winners involved, especially Edge and Christian.

"You're right, Dave. I'd better start getting my strategies in first thing in the morning," Shelton decided.

"Uh uh," Big Dave chastised him. "Not 'first thing in the morning', man. How about 'right now'?"

"You know what? You're right again. I'm gonna have to call Charlie right now. I need him to come over and do a little training with me. I'd like you and Holly to come along. It's got something to do with a couple of alliances I'm expecting in my match," Benjamin explained to Batista, who simply nodded and agreed to come along.

"Besides, I could use a little extra training against tag teams if I'm gonna handle Triple H and Flair when the time counts," Batista added to the argument of going along with Shelton's plan. Speaking of Triple H and Flair…

"Listen to me, Nache. I am in a serious bad mood. This is anxiety coming over here. I mean, come on. The man blocked my sledgehammer as I was about to hit his head and crack it in two, and then he takes the hammer and cracks the hammer in two, and all that after having finally been able to kick your ass in that ring!" Triple H said in all his rage, an uphauled Ric Flair and already equally frustrated Trish Stratus walking at either side of him.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! Did you just say he kicked my ass? This is unbelievable! If I saw that Batista right now, I'd come over to him and make him tap out to my Figure Four faster than you could say, 'Carolina UFC, the University of Flair Country'!" Ric Flair expressed utter anger, almost equivalent to Triple H and Trish Stratus, as shall be heard.

"You think you two have it bad, I just had to deal with taking that inverted Twist of Fate from Christy and actually feeling some pain. Christy, of all people! That Playboy slut actually hurt me, and she's trained by Lita! Do you have any idea what that means? It's either we expose our little backstage partnership or I lose my Women's Championship!" she vented out her own bad situation.

"You think like that, it's a sure thing! Trish, I don't need any more bad news, so go ahead and shut your mouth!" Trips tried to shush her in an utterly detrimental mood.

"I should be saying that to you just as much!" Trish complained.

"I can't take this, people! This is unbearable! Both of our titles are about to be gone at WrestleMania, the damn cards got overturned against us! Damn it!" Flair whined, nearly entering a hissy fit.

"Well, maybe you wouldn't be in such a bad mood if you weren't so busy making the younger ones kiss your ass." This voice stirred them to look to their hind right, and the first ejected Evolutioner was right there, smirking at them in his suit.

"If it isn't the Legend Killer, Randy Orton," Trish immediately cut into whatever else he was planning to say. "You're the one responsible for all this! If only you hadn't decided to win the match against Chris Benoit as Summerslam, none of this would be happening! I'd probably still be with Christian, and Evolution would have four people, and six backstage because of me and Christian!"

"Oh, like not being able to have my own entrance music was something to stay locked up in," Randy countered Trish.

"It's not about entrance music, it's about what was right for all of us! Do you know why you never won the World Championship against me, Orton? Do you know why? Huh?" Trips yelled.

"I didn't need to win it against you, all I needed to do was win it!" Orton lashed back verbally at our World Heavyweight Champion.

"Well, you did! And that's only because everybody, Chris Benoit and ourselves included, expected you to be the lackey in this match. Nobody thought that you would go all out to win the match, and that's exactly what I didn't want to happen, either! But you did! You broke your word that you would pave the way for _me_ to beat Benoit for this Title! And because of that, you still had a lot to learn about life in the ring by the time you made me consider you a punk kid!"

"I get that a lot," Randy said.

"As well you should, boy!" Flair injected himself within the conversation. "By challenging The Undertaker, you will be made to rest in peace! Your career will be finished! Finito! Squashed! Over! Done deal! Dead! What will you have left that you'll be able to do? I'll tell you what, Orton! **Squat** _diddly_ doo! And then you'll know you should have never-"

"I should have never what, Flair? Should have never stopped kissing your ass to accomplish my dream in record time?" the Legend Champion interrupted the Nature Boy. "Should have never taken advantage of your teachings and proven my opportunity true in order to be my own man for one night? Listen to me! Ric, Hunter, one thing you guys taught me and Batista was to never let 'em know what I was thinkin', and since you all thought I'd be busy kissing ass, or I wasn't talented enough, whatever notion you had that I wouldn't win the match, I thought I'd show you all a little surprise with that RKO out of nowhere and the cover pinfall, which led me to accomplish my destiny. But you know what? You guys wouldn't know anything about that, because all you're interested in is flaunting your gold, looking glorious, and attracting the opposite sex beyond humanity's wildest dreams!"

"You're confusing us with Lita, Jerry 'the King' Lawler, and you," Trish immediately showed disapproval of the last comment Orton just made.

"Trish, your partners are the ones boasting about women and money, and you're the one who tried to attract Vince McMahon by walking around like a dog. And on top of that, you wound up being treated for a muddy plaything," Stacy Keibler cut in from God knows where, shocking and adding to the edginess of Evolution.

"What are you doing here? Go back to showing men your long legs in the locker room," Trish tried a diss at Stacy.

"You know, you really shouldn't confuse everyone else's job with yours," Stacy advised the Stratusfaction Princess. Not that she would take it as such. In fact, she was an inch away from giving Stacy that Chick Kick of hers when Randy suddenly thrust her right leg back down to earth.

"Ow!" she then proceeded to wince in pain as she clutched her knee. It wasn't something to go to the hospital or miss WrestleMania over, but apparently, she was in pain.

"You okay, Trish?" Flair asked her. She didn't even respond. Randy smirked as he and Stacy left.

"Yeah, you two lovebirds go on! At WrestleMania, I know someone who's gonna make you pay for this, and I don't need to ever talk to him!" he threatened the Empress of Legs and the Man of Destiny, in obvious reference to the _Lord_ of _Darkness_.

In the meantime, the Quarter Million Girl, Christy Hemme, was waiting near a black pickup truck with a skull logo on it for somebody. Suddenly, enter Lita, alongside Edge and Kane.

"So, are we ready to go to the gym yet?" Christy asked her trainer, who was smiling a little bit too much.

"No, not just yet. I'm having such a good time, I don't think I want to leave," Lita said.

"Are you high?" Christy asked her in concern.

"Yeah, off the fact that she was able to trick me into thinking she was in terrible condition over the past three weeks," Edge said, not exactly happy about that because of the trick in itself. Christy laughing didn't exactly make things better for him, either.

"Shut up!" he ordered her.

"Hey, it's not my fault she tricked you," Christy made her case for rejecting Edge's order.

"You know what? You're right," Edge admitted. "Maybe I should think more lightly of this. I mean, after all, Lita is in great condition, though not good enough for wrestling herself. Which is why it's your job, Christy, to defeat the woman who has constantly upset both of you beautiful redheads over the past year. Speaking of which, what if you and I were to somehow get teamed up in a mixed tag team match against Trish and Christian? That would be big ups for us, because you and I get to form an energetic dream team, while Christian and Trish are forced to be happy revisiting their old relationship. We enjoy on our own, they endure programming, and it becomes huge for us in affecting the psyche of a WrestleMania opponent."

"Hey, speaking of which, why don't you shut up before Eric Bischoff shows up and decides to make that match?" Christian suddenly reappeared, without Tomko at his side. That's because the King of Tattoo was busy bantering with Muhammad Hassan.

"Christian, you know I'd never do that to you. Come on, you're Captain Charisma," Edge pleaded a comical case. "Why would I, Edge, the man you grew up and witnessed change with, pull that fast one on you?"

"For a lot of reasons, Edge," Christian said. "First, to get a one-up on me for the money match. Second, to get a one-up on me for the hell of it. Third, to get a one-up on somebody for the money match. Fourth, to get a one-up on somebody for the hell of it."

Speaking of the Hassan - Tomko banter, in came Steve Austin.

"Yo, Muhammad! I hear you've been makin' a lotta chaos out there, sayin' everybody's a damn racist," Austin said.

"Austin, you're no less guilty than anyone else in this arena," Muhammad immediately accused him. "So, don't you dare try to say anything to exonerate yourself!"

"What?"

"I said, you are as guilty as everyone else!" Muhammad repeated. "So, don't try to exonerate yourself!"

"_What_?"

"YOU'RE AS GUILTY AS EVERYONE ELSE OF RACISM!" Hassan angrily repeated.

"What?"

"YOU ARE GUILTY!"

"WHAT?"

"GUILTY!"

"WHAT?"

"GUILTY!"

"WHAT?"

"Argh! I don't need this! Daivari and I are gonna pack up and leave!" Hassan declared, being in a very fistful mood.

"Is one of you the other's bitch?" Tomko asked Hassan the infuriating question.

"What about you and Christian?" Hassan bit back at the Problem Solver. He and Austin then both flipped the bird at Hassan, who now threw a fit as he left. The two bald men exchanged high fives.


	14. Everdosage Egos

Disclaimer: This is unassociated with any of my other stories, and I do not own any of the members of this story. I simply write this story due to my interest in Raw, especially with these certain Superstars that have major roles.

Pairings: References to both Edge/Lita and Kane/Lita, Randy/Stacy developing works.

Rating Info: This story is rated PG-13, as all of my stories are, for safety purposes.

**_The Stones of Raw_** by **Prime Time, Legend Champion**

Chapter 14: Everdosage Egos

Following 3/14/2005 episode of Raw

The Arena at Gwinett Center in Atlanta, GA

Raw kicked off with Chris Jericho sitting atop a ladder planted in the middle of the ring, with the money briefcase above him. He talked about how everyone in the match was going to go all out at WrestleMania in order to get that briefcase and get the opportunity to perhaps one day become World Heavyweight Champion. After bragging that he was going to do it, he said WrestleMania was all about taking chances, and his next guest was a man who had enough guts to challenge The Undertaker to a match at this year's Mania, Randy Orton. Orton came out, and then there was a little talking, including Orton's notes of surprising the world at last year's WrestleMania (defeating Mick Foley), and Summerslam (becoming the youngest Heavyweight Champion of all time), backing up that the Man of Destiny was full of surprises. This led to the legendary Jake "The Snake" Roberts coming out with the Bag of Damian in hand as the second guest! During his entrance, memories of Roberts and Damian, the 12-foot-long snake behind "The Snake", at WrestleMania, flashed on. Roberts then said he knew both of Orton's wrestling forefathers, and noted them as great wrestlers, but then mentioned the former World Heavyweight Championship reign as a sign that Orton was good, but he still needed to be quiet. Orton said he had heard about the many men who tried beating The Undertaker at WrestleMania, but they were always left cold and empty; it was more of a matter of leaving with your soul than winning or losing when it comes to the Lord of Darkness. Randy taunted Jake on that and said he refuses to feel coldness and emptiness. Roberts was about to get Damian, but Orton pulled him back. He was then about to give the DDT, which he originated and mastered, but Orton got out of the way and gave him the RKO!

The sadistic red emperor, Kane, walked out to his usual fire, lighting, and music, ready to take on Tyson Tomko and Christian because of the events of last week. I personally believe that signing to face the Problem Solver and Captain Charisma at the same time is really not a good decision, but then again, Kane has walked out of being embarrassed by The Undertaker exactly one year ago at last year's WrestleMania. Christian started up the match coming from behind Kane, but the Big Red Machine took control early, until Tyson Tomko injected himself physically into the match and took over. Christian came back in less than a minute later, to the disadvantage of his team. It seemed to be going exactly like that. Tomko came in, good, Christian came in, demonic. That was, until Christian suffered facial detriment on a backfire and left Tomko alone to get domained and Chokeslammed to Hell. 1, 2, 3. Christian tried to sneak back and get a ladder so he could use it again, but as the Unmasked Beast detect it and crept closer, the Show Stealer was overcome with fear and ran out of the area. Kane then got the ladder and hit Tyson Tomko with it as return for last week. Kane's red rage was clear, and Tomko was bleeding. Ric Flair was talking to Gene Snitsky about things that were "not Gene Snitsky's fault". One of those was the death of Kane and Lita's baby. Another was Batista getting a later spot than Gene Snitsky. A third was Batista's decision to stay on Raw. A fourth would be Gene Snitsky layin' a hurtin' on Batista in that ring tonight. However, though he liked the way the Nache thought, the Narcotic Psycho said the injury of Batista would be all his fault.

Lita and Christy Hemme were in the back talking about what happened last week. Lita told Christy that someone offered to help with the training. It turned out to be Regal and Tajiri, on the condition Christy signed their copy of Playboy. Regal, with a giant square hitting bag thingy in his hands as the true victim, showed her how to fire and stand the kicks of Tajiri. When it was Christy's turn to make kicks, an unimpressed Badwill Ambassador berated Christy, talking about how pathetic she is and how Trish Stratus will wipe the floor with her at WrestleMania. The motivation was too much, as it turned into ruthless aggression, and when challenged to try again as hard as she could, the Quarter Million Girl kicked Regal's nether regions instead, taking herself and the Walking Kiss of Death into an oopsie phase for fifteen seconds! What's more comical about all this is, Lita singled out Christy and told her not bad! Next up, Shawn Michaels was met in his room by former Rockers tag team partner Marty Janetty, who was informed by Michaels that before Marty's match on Smackdown against Kurt Angle, the Rockers have a reunion match tonight against La Resistance.

As soon as Shelton Benjamin started his entrance for a one on one match against Edge, the Original AC suddenly assaulted from behind and started ramming him into things on the outside before the match even began. The stage layer, the guardrail, and the steel steps were all used by Edge as methods of abuse, and by the time Benjamin was rolled into the ring by Edge, he had almost zero strength more than what he used to tell the referee to go ahead and start the match.

When we came back from break, Edge was still abusing Shelton Benjamin. However, he had managed to get in some offensive momentum and take the seemingly regressive attitude of Edge back down to earth, leading to very competitive moments. The referee was eventually knocked down by a spinning lariat kick from Shelton. Shortly thereafter, Edge tried Edgecution, got countered, and then made a counter to the All Street American's T-Bone suplex. Shelton Benjamin went on to get Speared in the next ten seconds. Edge had a meaningless cover, but did not whine. Instead, he went to get a ladder so as to steal a win on Benjamin just like he did Chris Jericho last week. However, right on cue, the Ayatollah of Rock-N-Rolla comes out and, with a giant leap, tips the ladder straight into the Artist of Awesomeness, thus leaving him prone for the T-Bone and the pinfall from Shelton Benjamin. In the back, Triple H was being motivated by Ric Flair about the situation: Trips gets to destroy Chris Benoit, Snitsky might maim Batista beyond ability to attend WrestleMania, and the Game still gets to pick Batista's opponent next week! However, Flair was a little too high, as apparent because he couldn't stop mentioning how exactly one year ago, at WrestleMania 20, Benoit made Triple H tap to claim his World Heavyweight Championship for the first time ever in a World Title triple threat match involving those two men and Shawn Michaels.

Speaking of Michaels, he and Marty Janetty beat La Resistance. From the showing Janetty gave, and the utter tandem offense and charisma from the Rockers, we can tell you that if Kurt Angle thought MJ's going to be shortcake in three nights on Smackdown, he is a downtroddenly mistaken man.

Maria interviewed Trish Stratus about the Twist of Fate last week and the fact that Lita was training Christy. Trish pointed out that posing for Playboy and winning a 250K contract was much different than stepping in the ring with Trish, who had "ended Lita's career" and could do the same to Christy. She claimed that she wasn't concerned, and that she will eat Christy alive at WrestleMania. When the Twist of Fate was brought up as a powerful message, Trish decided to assault Maria as her message to Maria's friend Christy.

Ric Flair was then seen again with Snitsky. This time, he was giving compliments and showing confidence. Suddenly, Batista showed up and greeted them. Flair, who was addressed with a "Hey, Ric", was absolutely flabbergasted, and started going on a tirade on Trips' credentials and how he's going to eat Batista alive. Big Dave said he was going to take the World Heavyweight Title.

Triple H came out for the match with the Crippler. After break, he had Ric Flair with him, showing off the World Championship belt.

The match was great, but relatively slow over the first few minutes. However, when the pace sped up, Triple H took everything. The Dynamite headbutt, nine German suplexes, the Crippler Crossface, and the Sharpshooter. It took a low blow when the referee was distracted with ejecting the hissy fitted Flair in order for Trips to finally get the Pedigree and defeat Benoit. Oh, and Chris was wrestling in his city of current residence.

It was notified to us that this Thursday, Randy Orton was going to sign the contract to make it official that he was going to be facing The Undertaker. After a preview of WrestleMania, Muhammad Hassan and Daivari came out angry as usual. Hassan protested that like it will is ridiculous that an unbeaten team wouldn't be included in the NCAA tournament, it's a joke that his undefeated self is not a part of WrestleMania. He blames this not just on the WWE, but on the "racist nature" of every single one of us. He says that this is not over, just like last week. A musical error comes up, as Charlie Haas's music starts to come on, then they get it right and hit Hassan's. Imagine a flop like that on The Undertaker. That would be a disaster.

Anyway, Lita and Christy are talking outside the medical trainer's room. Christy says she'd like to stay with Maria, and Lita says to call her when she's ready tomorrow. Before Lita leaves, she promises Christy she will teach her how to "beat that bitch". Unfortunately, the Queen of Extreme runs into Gene Snitsky, who says after he beats Batista tonight, he'll finish what he started with Lita. He leaves for the ring, and for the Leviathan.

Before the match got underway between Snitsky and Batista, Trips and Flair came out, the Cerebral Assassin feeding the Narcotic Psycho some advice. Snitsky then tried to challenge Batista to run to Trips' side of the ropes and try to come back and knock him down, but Big Dave, not falling for it, knocked down Genetic Evilness with a hard clothesline. Unfortunately, Snitsky wound up taking control, and by ramming Batista's leg into the post multiple times, he now had weakened Batista's vertical base. Unfortunately for him, the plan didn't work, as he still ended up taking the spine buster that was first used by The Rock and named the People's Spine Buster. Then, Ric Flair gets in a chop block, and Snitsky, Flair, and Trips try to assault Snitsky, twice. It fails, and Snitsky ends up taking a Batista Bomb. The second time was a Triple Con-chair'to setup, and Kane came in. Before the Batista Bomb came a Chokeslam to Hell to Snitsky. Flair had taken some pain, Trips staggered up the ramp. He then said, with a mic in hand, that Batista's opponent next week was right behind him (Kane). The two had a bit of a friendly face to face leading off the air.

So, where did we leave off in last week's backstage dialogue again? Oh, yeah. Tyson Tomko and Steve Austin embarrassed Muhammad Hassan. Well, seeing as how we have nothing to be jammering about when it comes to the Texas Rattlesnake, let's go to the Problem Solver to get a few words from him. But then again… can't happen. He got busted up by Kane with that ladder. So, where do you think he is? In the trainer's room, with Maria, still a little lightheaded from tonight's events.

Meanwhile, outside the trainer's room, in fact, far outside it, the culprit to Maria's lightheaded state, Trish Stratus, was hanging out with the Evolution boys, as usual.

"Trish, you have no idea how angry I am right now," Triple H warned her.

"Well, nor do you. But, Triple H, I have a good question: why is it that Batista's music is always going off every time to end Raw? Have you lost your game, champ? Hm?" Trish asked him in nothing but concern.

"Hey, what the hell are you getting at? Are you saying that I don't know how to beat Batista? That I'm not being cerebral enough to beat Batista? That I'm not really the Game enough to beat Batista? Huh?" Trips said, getting in her face and almost threatening her life.

"The way things are going right now, that's exactly what I'm saying," Trish responded, not backing down. "Listen to me, Triple H. You are not thinking on your feet. You are thinking with rage, Hunter. The match with Kane is a good start, but I don't think it's gonna do enough to beat him down. Listen; you need to find some kind of plan, some kind of friend in the back, with which to take his concentration. Only God knows what you'll have to do if you want to beat him by trying to constantly touch him by yourself. And I don't think we have all the time in the world to find out. WrestleMania is only twenty days away, Trips. Do you want to keep on like this and lose the World Heavyweight Championship?"

"Where are you going with this? Do you have a plan?" Trips asked her, obviously thinking that she better have one if she's gonna degrade his state of affairs this much.

"Based on my experience hacking into your family back in 2000," Trish revealed what was going on inside that calculating head of hers, "I can tell there are many who would just love to help you. All they need is the right influence, the right incentive. And they will come flocking to you. Now, all we have to do is figure out a way to get them into the situation."

"Finally, Trips, somebody with an intelligent plan is at our side! Trish Stratus, I love it! And I love you! You are as cerebral as we are, as Triple H is! I admire you for your great strength, and I am perfectly confident that the Women's Title is nothing for us to worry about at WrestleMania! Christy only got that Twist of Fate because she hadn't proven prior to that that she should be taken seriously! You know what that helped, Trish?" Ric Flair suddenly burst into the conversation with a happy tone.

"What?" she asked.

"The element of surprise," Flair answered to continue his speech. "But you know she's serious now, Trish. You know she's serious, and if you keep reminding yourself, she has no chance in hell of this win at WrestleMania! Whoo!"

"You know, Ric, you are absolutely right. Now I know that you people are more reliable for me than Edge and Christian will ever be. In fact, I hope they rot in hell in that six-man ladder match," Trish openly declared, not caring who heard other than Evolution.

"Personally, I say, one of them should win the match. But seriously, Stratus! Imagine this: we both keep our titles at WrestleMania, and all of a sudden, I find out that the winner of the WrestleMania "money in the bank" ladder match is, of all people, Christian. Christian! What the hell can he do? Just because he's an awesome ladder match competitor, and he's won more tables, ladders, and chairs special tag team matches than anyone else in WWE history, that doesn't put him anywhere special in my environment: a regular squared circle confrontation. Without the strings of a giant steel ladder attached, Christian's good, but he is nowhere near my league. If he won the ladder match, I would rejoice at an easy opportunity to destroy the so-called 'Captain Charisma', and retain my World Heavyweight Championship," Trips thought, his evil mind working to its maximum confidence potential.

In the meantime, speaking of the minds, it was once said that great minds think alike. Nobody said anything about brotherly minds, did they? Kane was outside the arena, in fact, in a dark alley on the street, alongside Lita, waiting for someone.

"When's he gonna show up, Kane? I don't like waiting like this," Lita told her husband.

"Don't you worry, my flaming star shell," Kane attempted to assure her in his usual creepy voice. "He will appear."

Suddenly, the area started getting a little cold, as a black limousine pulled up near them. The driver was wearing a black druid robe. He unlocked the trunk of the car, and inside was a coffin, which he also unlocked. Suddenly, a figure in a black cowboy hat, trench coat, tank top, and leather pants came out of the casket. Turns out, we know who it is.

"Undertaker. My brother, I'm glad to know you could make it," Kane greeted his brother.

"Likewise. And with your wife as well. I like her spirit," The Undertaker returned the welcome to this little rendez-vous as he walked towards his brother and sister-in-law at a much faster pace than usual. "So, how are Viscera and Gangrel?"

"Obviously, better than when you used them for your message to JBL coming into the last ride match," Kane answered. "Plus, Gangrel's been talking to Edge. He sees a connection between Edge and Lita. I'd treat him as competition for Lita, but I think we've all decided for the situation to leave itself mutual, for the better of it."

"I'm not entirely surprised. People are talking about how cute they look together. Oh, how that makes me sick," Taker said.

"The 'cute' part, right?" Lita asked the Dead Man. He nodded.

"Speaking of which, my worst pet peeve is being asked about Sara. We do keep in touch, but it's not like I can exactly be in love with anyone now that I've regained my dark supremacy, even if that is my wife," Taker revealed to the "family" he has in this company. "Not even the druids and our people have the right to converse of us."

"What are you going to do about Randy Orton?" Kane quickly changed the subject.

"The contract signing is coming up in three nights," Taker reminded the conversation guests in front of him. "That kid better not try anything funny, or else he will experience a furious traumatic experience of darkness."

"I know exactly what you mean. I've got that same problem with Trish, and I'm just training Christy," Lita stated to show agreement and understanding towards the situation.

"Good luck with that. You should leave Kane and myself in on one of the sessions, just so we see what good it can bring forth," the Lord of Darkness suggested to the Queen of Extreme.

"I guess I should look into that and see what time that can happen," she answered, showing that she is indeed taking the idea into accord.

"Lita, I'm available at any time. You know that. And Undertaker is so busy planning supernatural occurances to halt Randy Orton in his tracks if he tries anything suspicious and silly, that he should really do something else related to WrestleMania once in a while," Kane said, obviously trying to give Lita positive pressure to hurry on with it.

"Tomorrow it is. I do need to relax my mind from that Legend Killer fool for a little bit. A good guess is, he's not afraid of me now, but he knows something's gonna get him scared worse than half to death," Taker stated. "I have no idea what future that boy thinks he has, but he will be proven like all the other dragons: a coward who, at WrestleMania, is meant to rest in peace." The last three words were said with a certain sinister serenity to it. Lita, though, simply smirked along with the Brothers of Destruction.

"Where do you stay?" she then asked The Undertaker.

"I have a room in a hotel at Savannah that I like to keep dark, since that is what I am, and where Smackdown is on Thursday night. So, Big Red Machine: you have Edge, _and_ Christian, in that #1 contender's ladder match. How is Lita perfect maintenance to your friendship despite that?"

"Because the Artist of Awesomeness and I see more in this awesome redhead than anyone else," the Demon on Fire informed his brother, who happens to have given him four Tombstones in two WrestleMania meetings between the two evil kinsman behemoths.

"Love and greed, honey. I just live with it," Lita made a comment. "But, Kane, remember on our wedding night when you congratulated Trish on one of her jokes?"

"What about it?" Kane asked Lita, somehow oblivious to what she and Undertaker were about to say.

"Don't you ever do that again," Kane's wife and brother repeated.

"I have to take my leave for now," Taker suddenly announced. "I don't want to get checked out and start having to find myself a place by scaring everyone else around. So, tomorrow?"

"Yeah," Kane said. After the Lord of Darkness and his limousine finally left…

"Did we have to talk to Undertaker like this?" Lita asked her husband.

"Twice, I challenged him to WrestleMania and nearly lost my soul for it. Did I have to do that?" he answered the question with a question.

"No, you didn't," Lita said. "But you did it anyway, and I'm proud of you." With that, she took down his face, and… can you say something that Captain Charisma and Trish ended up getting called the two-tongue tango, and something that just might make the Artist of Awesomeness maybe a little too jealous for his own good?


	15. Heart's Desire, Heart's Disaster

Disclaimer: This is unassociated with any of my other stories, and I do not own any of the members of this story. I simply write this story due to my interest in Raw, especially with these certain Superstars that have major roles.

Pairings: References to both Edge/Lita and Kane/Lita? developing.

Rating Info: This story is rated PG-13, as all of my stories are, for safety purposes.

**_The Stones of Raw_** by **Prime Time, Legend Champion**

Chapter 15: Heart's Desire, Heart's Disaster

Following 3/21/2005 episode of Raw

Birmingham Convention Center in Birmingham, AL

When will the Cerebral Assassin, Triple H, ever get his rightful hand? Maybe tonight, because in a continuation of Eric Bischoff's "Pick Your Poison" concoction, Batista will face Kane tonight. The night began with Shawn Michaels walking out, to many loving fans, in his same showboating fashion, with the same case of adoring fans, for a competitive match, against Robert Conway of La Resistance. Conway and Sylvan Grenier were apparently angry because Shawn Michaels and Marty Janetty embarrassed them in the Rockers Reunion match last week. Janetty tapped out to Kurt Angle on Smackdown in his very next match four nights ago, but that didn't faze La Resistance. Rather, what did, is Shawn Michaels, trying to show both men over yet again. Conway eventually got two seconds of control at the corner, and Shawn came right back, but he ended up falling out back first. Conway distracted Earl Hebner with false rage, and Sylvan Grenier hit Michaels with the Quebec flagpole. However, it didn't finish off Michaels when Grenier put him back in and had Conway cover him. The Showstopper kicked out.

When we came back, Conway had Michaels in a headlock. Eventually, Shawn got out, and when Conway tried to throw him over the ropes again, he skinned the cat and left the area. Conway still enjoyed his control, until Shawn Michaels did the nip up headspring and felt the adrenaline of control. From there, not even Grenier could interfere with Shawn Michaels being on fire. He then took the Quebec flag and did something with it, and then got that vintage diving elbow of his on Robert, followed by Sweer Chin Music and a definite 1, 2, 3. The Heartbreak Kid is on top of his game, and Kurt Angle is as well. However, Angle better watch out that right foot of Michaels doesn't hit his face. Jim Ross and Jerry Lawler then introduced a video that mentions everything Kurt Angle talked about and did lately, as well as throughout his career in the WWE. That would include many Ankle Locks, tap outs to them, and that assault on Michaels. This battle for the "best wrestler of the generation" branding is going to be a great one.

Christy Hemme was walking down the hall with her trainers (Lita, William Regal, and Tajiri), and she was asked if she was ready for "this" by Regal. She then explained that she's been working on her kicks all week, and offered to show them. William and Tajiri declined such an offer, especially thanks to their paranoid penises. The Badwill Ambassador said that if Christy had any problems, to just tag one of the Tag Team Champions in. This obviously means, six person tag team action involving these three on one side, and some people with something to do with Trish Stratus in the other. Or is that right?

We heard that Sylvester Stallone, good friend of Hulk Hogan, star of the Rocky series, and co-host of "The Contender", will be the man performing for Hogan's induction into the Hall of Fame. Christy Hemme then came out first for her tag team match, and Jerry Lawler showed some beautiful pictures of Christy inside the pages, except the private regions are covered with Playboy branded purple "ribbons". After William Regal and Tajiri came out, we knew that Maven, Simon Dean, and Molly Holly were the opposing team. Maven and Molly beat Val Venis and Victoria last night on Heat back in Atlanta. And, though it had nothing to do with them, they had something to do with Trish Stratus, who chose to counter Lita's presence and be in Team Maven's corner. The action started off with the men, of course, and after a few minutes, Simon Dean was controlling Tajiri. Soon, though, he got out of the predicament, and tagged in Christy Hemme, who finally got into the action against Molly Holly. The Wholesome Girl and the Quarter Million Girl were now in the ring, legitimately against each other, for the first time. Christy, who wore an attractive pink outfit to the ring, got a few good kicks in on Molly, who came back and slammed her. When Christy got up, Holly was about to hit the Molly-Go-Round, but Hemme got out of the way. She then fired Reversal Fate and pinned Molly. Christy and her trainers were all smiles, and Trish was scorning and telling fans to shut up. Speaking of scorning people, Triple H made his way to the ring in his latest shirt and jumpers. Uh, that is what it's called, right?

When he came out, he got a steel chair from ringside, planted it into the ring, and sat in it for most of his speech, which was about Evolution, and decisions. Randy Orton, Ric Flair, Batista, and Triple H were Evolution, the team that could not be stopped except from within itself. Except for the "jealousy" and "arrogance" within the young men in Evolution, this golden unit was undefeatable. Turns out, bad decisions are what made Evolution's demise. Randy Orton "made a bad decision and turned his back on me". Now, he is groveling for a spot at WrestleMania and putting himself down on the platter so The Undertaker can chop his head right off, in order to try to make a name for himself and become a star. With Evolution, Orton had a name, he was a star, and he groveled for nothing. Just like Batista, who was a star who won the Royal Rumble, then made a "bad decision" and "turned on me". He could have gone to Smackdown, and he could have beaten JBL, and John Cena. He probably could have beaten them both at once. Then, Evolution would have controlled the entire wrestling business, even having more of an influence than Trips' former father-in-law, Vincent Kennedy McMahon himself. But he decided to be "selfish" and fight the Game at WrestleMania. Trips then went on to mention how Batista was like a brother to him, and the betrayal broke the Game's heart, and he was talking about how he didn't have to do anything with Orton or Batista, but he handpicked them, and out of the goodness of his heart, he groomed them to be great in this business. Trips also talked about himself being a ten time Heavyweight Champion the greatest wrestler alive today. He then said that there were many people who were laying claim to that, talking about "I'm the greatest", "I'm the best". He even mentioned JBL's most recent one, "I'm a wrestling god", calling it a joke. And, that time, I agree with the Game, because that "wrestling god" comment always gets me laughing. The Game even went on to talk about the "man I could not beat", Chris Benoit, being a bad decision by Batista because he beat him for the first time ever last week, and now Benoit is a tag line to that "long list of losers that I have beaten". But, the match against Kane was a good decision. And, another "good decision" was that now, Kane was going to be facing Batista in an "anything goes" lumberjack match, in which the lumberjacks were going to be hand picked by the Game!

Chris Jericho and Shelton Benjamin had a tag team match against Edge and Christian. As the Artist of Awesomeness walked to his corner, where Captain Charisma and the Problem Solver were, they looked at each other, not exactly best friend's gazes. Early on in the match, Christian accidentally hit Edge off the apron and ended up getting taken out himself. This led to Tyson Tomko and Edge coming over to him, with very different intentions. Edge came to berate Christian, Tomko to check on him, and eventually, to get his pals back on the same page. Chris Jericho and Shelton Benjamin eventually got in moves from in the ring that hit all three of them. Soon, though, Edge and Christian wound up retaking control of the action. There were places in the match where double team work didn't exactly look good for Toronto's coolest young men ever. The two ended up double bulldogged, double neck breakered as a counter to a double suplex, and Edge even rolled out of the way of a Lionsault and bailed on Christian at one point. However, during the fire that was lit under Jericho and Benjamin, Christian was once on the outside, and Jericho tried to springboard there, but received a Problem Solver knee to the ribs. The match ended when Benjamin, in the ring, was experiencing momentum. He came to the apron for some reason, only to be hit by his own Intercontinental Championship, courtesy of Christian. Edge fired a Spear, then covered Benjamin and got the 1, 2, 3. That had to be a moment of mild celebration, because Edge and Christian just won their first match together in about 3½ years. Quote Lilian: "Here are your winners, Edge and Christian!" But, after that, Tomko brought Jericho into the ring, and Edge and Christian went on to assault their opponents. Suddenly, Chris Benoit came and cleaned house, having seen enough. But, as soon as he got Edge out of the ring, Benoit wound up taking a ladder to the abdomen, then to the back, like the one Edge gave to Jericho's _penis_ two weeks earlier, courtesy of Tyson Tomko, who took a bloodying ladder to the _face_ last week from Kane. Tomko then picked up Christian, and upon the walk up the ramp, the two were big mouth America all over about "money in the bank, baby!" while Edge just got up more silently and admired his team's handiwork.

Ric Flair, within the Evolution locker room, had a room full of lumberjacks. He was talking to them about how by staying on Raw, Batista screwed them over, since he took their World Heavyweight Championship shot. He gave them all the offer of a spot in Evolution, depending on who stepped up to the plate tonight. With both statements, he was able to fire all of them up, including each La Resistance member, and Muhammad Hassan. Batista was interrupted from checking out Mania shirts in a package by Eric Bischoff, who said he knew nothing about the lumberjacks, and then mentioned Flair's firing them up. Asking if Batista knew what it was like to be a marked man, he then went on to say that he'll be proud to have Batista as his World Champion. Batista then returned the favor, talking about how Eric would make a great politician. Eric then pointed out that there's a runoff election in his small town in Arizona. Batista then said Bischoff would make a great politician, which sent Eric thinking about "Mayor Bischoff", until Batista suddenly came back and said, "Better yet; used car salesman." That one pissed him off a little bit, but it was a good joke. Randy Orton was then seen with Stacy Keibler, who asked him if he was sure he wanted to do "this". He then said he was positive, then questioned her faith in his ability against The Undertaker. She said that of course Randy can beat Taker. He said that if Taker thought he'd sent a message on Smackdown, Orton's got a message of his own in that box, and he'd be honored if Stacy could come with him. At first, she declined, but she couldn't refuse when he said it would mean a lot to him. Stacy took Randy's hand, and the two walked together.

After they showed the Smackdown Rebound of Randy Orton slapping The Undertaker, who then revealed the power of his rage, out comes the Legend Killer, with the Empress of Legs. He said that last week, whe he slapped Undertaker, it was not out of disrespect, but just to prove that he wasn't intimidated. He walked back down, refusing to be afraid. Despite what happened, his confidence is at an all time high. "See for yourself", he said, opening the box Stacy had. In it was a Legend Killer T-shirt, and Undertaker - 4/3/05 was a part of the Legends Killed list on the back! Orton said he planned on Undertaker being on his list of victims, not the other way around. Then, came a tribute video similar to the one with Mercy Drive's "Away" back on August 16th, 2004, but with different music, and including some statements and events after that old tribute's timeline. It culminated with our recent Smackdown friend. Then, Orton said that The Undertaker's streak and legacy would soon be like him: dead. He then turned to Stacy and said that since they're both in the ring, "there's something that I've been wanting to do for a very long time". He then held her in his hands, and they came closer and closer and closer, until they finally enjoyed a very passionate kiss. He then commented on the positive energy that the kiss proved, saying that that's why he won't listen to all the negativity, the claims that he can't beat The Undertaker. And he had a message for all the people who don't think he can beat Taker. "And that message, (closes eyes and shakes head momentarily) is simply this." He repeats the action in the parenthesis, then immediately RKOs Stacy! The Legend Champion, the Legend Killer, Randy Orton, just RKO'd his own girlfriend! Now, he's looking at her, and he can barely move. Eventually, he gets out of the ring, as referees get in to check on Stacy. Walking up the ramp in a fashion close to that of The Undertaker in speed, but with a completely different thought process behind it. It is now speculated, especially by Jim Ross, that Orton's message is plain and simple: "Hey, Undertaker! If I could do that to my own girlfriend, the beautiful Stacy Keibler, after I finally just kissed her, real love, no strings attached, in front of the world for the very first time, then what the hell do you think I can't do to you in order to win our match at WrestleMania? I will go through lengths that not even Mordecai would go through if he was still around to face you, and I will win at WrestleMania. You will be 12-1, and I will be the man responsible for that 1. You will become a Legend Killed, or I will die trying to make it happen." He also had a very remorseful look on his face as it relates to the action itself that he just carried out aganist Stacy Keibler in the first place.

Next out were Tomko and Benoit, who were competing in a match. Benoit, with the possibly fractured ribs, actually got the German suplex trio, and the headbutt, immediately on Tomko. He possibly further injured himself, but apparently, he didn't care. Tomko, though, kicked out, and eventually took control of the situation, viciously punching upon him. However, soon, he ended up tapping out to Benoit's Crippler Crossface.

Shawn Michaels, upon arrival, was met by Muhammad Hassan, who talked about the fact that they had something in common. Michaels faced a bit of adversity in his career. But, Hassan said, he knows nothing of the adversity and blatant discrimination Muhammad faces on a daily basis. He isn't included in WrestleMania, despite not being pinned on Raw. Daivari then began speaking in the Iranian crap when Michaels screamed at him to shut him up, then told Hassan that the only problem with him is that he claims to be entitled to everything, yet he has earned nothing. He's giving the Arab Renegade one chance to prove he should be at WrestleMania 21; a one on one match between the two, in which Hassan will learn why they call Shawn "Mr. Wrestlemania".

Ric Flair and Triple H came out, leading the lumberjacks to the ring, then coming to the table where Jerry Lawler and Jim Ross did their announcing. As the story goes, the match started out exactly like the Cerebral Assassin wanted it to. The Big Red Machine was dominating the Leviathan, due to assistance from some of the lumberjacks. Soon, however, Gene Snitsky ran towards Kane and got a big boot to the face. This was the beginning of the end for most of Triple H's short lived lumberjack loyalty. As soon as Kane had gone to the outside, Snitsky went in after him again. Viscera, among other lumberjacks, came towards Kane and got hit straight down. Kane's not the only one, though, who lumberjacks had sent in a bad way. Especially when you consider that Batista, at one point, was being stomped on straight down to hell when he fell right in the area where rested Sylvan Grenier, Robert Conway, Coach, Chris Masters, and Maven. Kane, in the ring, was suddenly booted by the interfering Tyson Tomko, leading the way for the Problem Solver, the Show Stealer, and Sparks Mineral to finish what they started earlier tonight: the neutralization of their enemies (other than each other as far as E&C go) for the Money in the Bank ladder match. Turns out, Batista got up and beat the snot out of his enemy lumberjacks, then came in and issued the People's spine buster to Edge and Christian in the process of clearing the ring of them and Tomko. Kane suddenly sat up and issued Batista the Chokeslam to Hell. The Leviathan actually managed to kick out, and the People's spine buster came to Kane! Big Dave then took up the Unmasked Beast and issued him the Batista Bomb, and that's how it ended. 1, 2, 3. As Batista stood victorious, carnage all around him, Triple H stood on the announcer's table holding up his World Heavyweight Championship high in the air. WrestleMania 21's questions remain strong; who will come out Champion, and who will have a World Heavyweight Championship match as money in the bank?

"Unbelievable, Trish! This is unbelievable! That plan, as ingenious as it was, didn't work! And now, I have to worry about a damn face-off with that neanderthal Batista!" Triple H complained heavily in the Evolution room to Trish Stratus and Ric Flair.

"Not only did it work, but that completely backfired, just like my Christy Hemme situation!" Trish added to the grumbling.

"Don't think we don't know all about that, but seriously. When is something gonna go my way in this one?" the Game continued his complaining. We're gonna go back to you guys, Evolution, but for now, we need to get onto another situation…

Edge was walking down the hall, confidence boosted because of the events of the night. He just arrived at the arena parking lot, where he was to meet up with Christian and Tyson Tomko.

"Christian, Tomko!" he called to the two, who were already there.

"This night was awesome. I have the utmost confidence in the fact thatoh, there he is," Christian noticed in the middle of a statement to the Problem Solver.

"People, this night reeked of absolute awesomeness. I mean, first of all, our little Trish problem is about to get rectified, cause Christy's got all the advantage in the world, and then, there's our money in the bank problem. The way things went tonight, us winning our first match as a tag team in about 3½ years, and then the injuries on all the others, Kane included, the winner is bound to be in this very conversation," Edge noted confidently about tonight's events.

"And another thing: we got to put a huge dent in Triple H," Tomko stated without any expectation from the others, as evident from their confused stares. "Yeah, we stomped Kane in the middle of that Batista match, remember?"

"Even though I'm not gonna make friends with Batista anytime soon, you're absolutely right. I just wasn't expecting the two of you to mention that," Edge said.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Christian demanded his partner from tonight and years past.

"I didn't think anybody else remembered," Edge stated, plain as day. Captain Charisma calmed down a bit, but the King of Tattoo had another complaint.

"Dude, it wasn't much more than ten minutes ago. Of course we remember," Tomko pointed out. "But seriously, man. I know someone here's gonna win the ladder match at WrestleMania."

"It's money in the bank, man. But seriously, imagine this, Edge: what will happen when "Captain Charisma" Christian finally wins his first World Heavyweight Championship?" Christian visualized in front of Edge and Tomko.

"Or, what will happen if "Artist of Awesomeness" Edge finally comes out of a match to become the World Heavyweight Champion? Ever think about that one?" Edge proceeded to visualize also.

"You know, that's real good, but I'm more likely to win that match, Edge," Christian noted.

"Sorry to break it to ya, Christian, but I'm the one who's gonna win that match," Edge said. "I have won two out of the four Tables, Ladders, and Chairs tag team title matches that have happened in this company."

"Yeah, with me. And I won another one with Jericho after we disbanded," Christian countered.

"Which was your fault," Edge said, making sure Christian didn't forget that.

"Yeah, thanks," Christian retorted, applying his sarcasm. "Anyway, that makes me having won three out of the four, more TLC victories than anyone in the history of this company! And do you know why?"

"Why is that, o great Stealer of Shows and Man of Peeps?"

"Well, Mineral of Sparks, and AC of Originals, it is because I know more about tag team matches, and ladder matches, than anyone in this company. In a tag team ladder match, not only do you have yourself to worry about, but also your partner. But the one you have to worry about more is yourself. You're taking risks that could impact your own health more than your partner's, and you two are basically fighting away from each other in that arena. One of you could be in the middle of being the victim of a supreme high risk move from one of your enemy's, while the other one could be beating the crap out of somebody. You have to know when to climb for the ladder, when everyone is either your partner, or in a really bad place to be. Once you can get there, you climb for the money object and win the match."

"Thanks for the knowledge that I already know, Christian, but the tag team part is insignificant even when you're in a tag team. You have to know when to manage the risks of the situation to your own advantage, and if your enemy's about to get the belt, don't just stand there and listen to them gloat about victory when they haven't already got it, then let 'em get it. What you do is you climb the ladder and overtake it from them by punching or throwing the enemy off, or you kick the ladder so it tumbles down and crashes your enemy into the announce table, or you grab the ladder right from under the enemy's feet and cause them an evil injury, or something other than standing there and watching the enemy gloat and win."

"Listen to me, Edge. I'm going into a ladder match nobody thinks I'll win. They forget that I'm the greatest WrestleMania ladder match competitor of all time, the best TLC competitor of all time. Come on, man. The Edgeheads and Peeps, they predicted the Hardy Boyz would win because they're the greatest risktakers, and ladders are their specialty, or that the Dudley Boyz would win because of their tables. People thought they were gonna be able to 3D one of us, and/or one of our little friends, the Hardyz, through tables, and then move on to the ladders and climb them to win the match. Nobody saw Edge and Christian as the competitors to win that match, but think about it this way: the Artist of Awesomeness and Captain Charisma were not considered greatly because we never won Tag Team Titles before, and our specialty was not tables, nor was it ladders. But, it was chairs."

"They didn't take us as seriously as the others because they didn't consider the El Con-chair'to to be as impactful as a 3D through a table or a Swanton or Twist of Fate off a 17-foot-high ladder, I think it is. Problem with that is, underestimating your enemy is a very big no-no. But, the bigger no-no is underestimating somebody named Edge or Christian. And they all did both. Which is why we're the winningest tag team in the exclusive history of this company."

"But at WrestleMania, there are no tag teams. Which means only one of us can win that six-man ladder match for the World Heavyweight Title shot. And you know which one it is?"

"The Original AC, Sparks Mineral, the Artist of Awesomeness, Edge."

"No, you got it wrong. It's the Show Stealer, the Peep Man, Captain Charisma, Christian!"

"Any more ladder match lessons somebody'd like to give me?" Tyson Tomko suddenly interrupted the entertaining conversation between Awesomeness and Charisma.

"What in the world is this argument about, kids? All I know is, Artist of Awesomeness or not, Captain Charisma or not, whoever wins the ladder match will not be as great as me, because I am going to defeat The Undertaker at WrestleMania, an accomplishment that nobody else has ever done," Randy Orton suddenly cut in to say.

"You actually think you're gonna beat The Undertaker?" Edge questioned Orton's somehow ill-gotten confidence. "I've been part of his Ministry before. And if there's anything I can tell you, he's not gonna let any of your cowardly actions slide. You will be crucified at WrestleMania, and that's all I've got left to say about it."

"You're sure about what you just said?" Randy asked Edge. "You're sure about what you just said? Well, how the hell do you know one of you's gonna win the ladder match? I'm not gonna sit here and listen to you say Undertaker will kill me at WrestleMania without making the comeback that no matter what you do, you're not gonna keep Kane down long enough to win. That'll be _his_ job, and _he will_ do it to _you_."

"Uh, you think Kane's gonna win the ladder match? For your information, he's only been in one ladder match his entire career, and I don't even remember when and against whom," Christian butted into the conversation. "Besides, I have huge plans for a celebration as far as after I win the ladder match, then after I beat either Triple H or Batista for the World's Heavyweight Title, something you have never exactly done in your life!"

Anyway, I said we'd be back to Evolution. I guess we are, cause they're waiting for their limousine, distant from the Edge conversation, but within earshot of it.

"Do you hear this guy? Christian honestly thinks he's gonna beat me to become the World's Champion. Like I told you guys last week, I will be clinically enjoying the time up to our match if I find myself facing Captain Charisma for my World Heavyweight Championship. He is an idiot, he can't win without Tomko - and Nache, you're the equalizer to that - and he is in the league for the Intercontinental Championship, _not_ the World Title!" Trips said, his confidence starting to improve, though by overlooking Batista.

"But we can't overlook your own matches at WrestleMania, people," Flair quickly reminded his partners. "That would be the biggest mistake of all. Cause, let's say, it's Christy Hemme, Batista, and Christian who win the matches. That happens, what it means is Christy gets all the fanfare while you, Trish, get all the laughingstock attention, and nobody even remembers that you're the hottest Diva on Raw anymore! Plus, it won't be you, Trips, but it'll be Batista who ends up getting the laugh of defending his World Heavyweight Title against Christian. We would have to cut in and make a huge surprise appearance that would somehow bring Christian to the top of the mountain in order for you to get a clear shot in a way that you obviously want."

"That would be an absolute disaster, my friends," Trish added, concluding the Nature Boy's point.

"The only absolute disaster around here is, you two are still the champions of your gender on Raw," a voice suddenly interfered. Turns out it was Matt Hardy, in that same Punisher outfit as when he appeared on August 16th.

"What the hell are you doing here? I specifically was told there would be no Carolina loser getting in my way for WrestleMania success, and lookie here! We've got Lita training Christy to face Trish for the Women's Title, and now you show up. What is the matter with you people?"

"Namuch. Just came to check up on Lita. Heard she's got somethin' important to say to Edge."

"Yeah, go over and make your announcement. There they are over theoh, wait a minute. Who said that?" Trish suddenly found the wherewithal to ask.

"Behidn ya," the voice said. Looking behind her, she saw Jeff Hardy.

"Jeff," Trish recognized him, causing Trips and Ric to turn around.

"What in the living hell is this?" Flair hollered, obviously about to go on another one of his legendary hissy fits.

"Wait a minute, Orton's over there, and he's pointin' to us," Trips said, managing to make out the situation. "Hey, Randy! Get the hell over here!"

"This is gonna be interesting, Matt," Jeff said.

"Go where he is. This isn't your show, Hardykins," Trish excused them. The two answered to that call with an obvious shrug. Matt met up with Randy amidst the way, getting a nice little handshake in. Jeff tried to focus on Edge, Christian, Tomko, and now Lita, but looked crossly back at the Legend Killer once Orton was fixated upon the conversation with Triple H.

"Hey, guys, you wanna listen in on what's gonna happen here between Legend Killer and Cerebral Assassin?" Edge asked the Hardyz. Tyson Tomko was now standing with the two young tag teams which defined young tag teams in the Attitude era. Both the extremely inspirational, daring, and caring in the Hardy Boyz, and the extremely calculating, successful, and awesome in Edge and Christian. Not only those two, but someone that was vital to the Attitude era at each tag team, and that was young Amy Christine Dumas, better known as Lita.

"Sure, why not? Sounds like a great idea," Jeff suggested, somehow keeping his contempt in check. Onto the situation at hand with Orton and Evolution…

"Congratulations on dumping somebody you almost killed me to get, boy," Trips immediately taunted Orton. Obviously, this was about the Stacy Keibler situation from tonight.

"I'm not in the mood to hear people talking to me about Undertaker and Stacy right now, okay? I've already dealt with that just a minute ago with Edge and Christian, and now, I don't want to have to worry about your piece of crap asses getting in my way on it," Randy warned them outright.

"Randy, just shut up. You know damn well you don't care about Stacy Keibler. If you did, you nut job, you would've been careful enough not to emotionlessly dish out that RKO to her," Trips continued to pick at the Legend Champion by use of tonight's events.

"What, are you so desperate to beat Undertaker, so scared of him after that power show on Smackdown, that you're gonna try to intimidate him by diapers and RKOs on women?" Trish asked, deciding to chime in for her own personal enjoyment.

"Trish, if you don't shut up, I'm gonna RKO you just like I did Stacy tonight, okay?"

"That does it, you young punk! I saw enough outta you to determine you don't deserve a woman!" Jeff suddenly made his mark known in Orton's business. The Legend Killer was surprised that Jeff was speaking against him like this.

"What happened here, Jeff?"

"What happened here is that you have already RKO'd a crush of mine, and I'm not gonna allow that to happen again about an old one!" Jeff revealed the story behind his hate towards Orton for tonight.

"Oh, I didn't know you were contemplating stealing my girlfriend, Hardy. Why would you do something like that to me, huh?"

"Get over here, and I'll teach ya somethin' you didn't know before, Killer," Jeff said. He and Randy both stepped up to one another, and the confrontation was in the center of the area between the two groups.

"What's the matter with you? You in love with Stacy behind me back or something, cause I'll be quick to straighten you out."

"Behind your back it shouldn't have been, and I didn't think it was. But apparently, I was wrong, Legend Champion," Jeff gave his note to Randy. "Turns out, Stace has been on my mind since… well, I don't know. Since somethin' went down a long time ago, I don't remember. But seriously, as far as I've been concerned, she is the most beautiful blonde I've ever seen in my life. I thought you were gonna be the right one for her when I saw sparks fly between you two, but from that RKO, apparently you can't be with her, because when you're obsessed about anything she doesn't agree with, she's not safe around you. So let me make this clear to you; if you don't stay away from the girl, I will practically kill you. I will personally make sure that you and I get into a wrestling match that has nothing to do with WWE, nothing to do with TNA, nothing to do with Eric Bischoff, Dusty Rhodes, or Vince McMahon, nothing to do with TNA Impact, nothing to do with Lockdown, nothing to do with WrestleMania, or anything related to the companies. It will be a private house show affair in which I will beat you down to hell, and eventually hit you with the Swanton and pin you one, two, three. Personally, I think you're the biggest coward on the planet, and I hope Undertaker Tombstones you to hell at WrestleMania."

"Open declaration of love-dependence. Nice," Trips commented, obviously snickering over the fact that his former cohort just got showed over.

"All I have left to say to you is that I did not want to do that to Stacy. I just had to, because I wasn't so sure she was on my side anymore," Randy explained, and as if intentionally, not too well at that.

"What are you talkin' about?" the Charismatic Enigma questioned the Man of Destiny.

"You'll see. Next week."

That was all the clues we were left with, as he walked out of that area. At the same time, Evolution just left, since their limousine arrived for them to kill the clubs. This left an angry Jeff Hardy, who had to be restrained by his brother Matt, along with Lita, Edge, Tyson Tomko, and Christian.

"So, what was the something important you have to say to me?"

"Last week, after the show, remember when I told you I was gonna meet up with Kane and Undertaker after the show?" Lita reminded the Original AC.

"Yeah, why?" Edge inquired of the woman who was to him what Stacy was to Jeff Hardy: an always close but perhaps unattainable crush.

"To make a long story short, I kissed Kane, and I realized that what I'm doing is just not right. I mean, this isn't right. I am loyal to Kane, since he's my husband, and I do have feelings for him that do come close to the chemistry I felt with Matt, but then, there's somebody else who gives me the same butterfiles in the locker room, and it's his own damn fault for attaching himself to me all this time. By now, you should know you're the other guy I'm talking about," Lita started to explain.

"Where are you going with this?" Edge asked the Queen of Extreme, obviously fearing what was coming next.

"Our little fling outside my marriage with Kane. That's where I'm going with this," she answered, her tone getting a little stronger. "Kane might be okay with it, since he is a demon, but my heart's not in it anymore. So, I'm afraid we're gonna have to call this off."

"What? Y-you've gotta be joking here. I mean, come on. There have been no complications-"

"Well, what if Snitsky didn't arrive? What if nothing happened, and my son did become born, yet our thing here still happened? How could I explain that while I loved the guy's dad and brought him to birth that I was having this small affair with another man, who can get into paranoia phrases at any given time? A number of things could happen in that future that wouldn't be pretty. I mean, I wouldn't-"

"But it didn't happen, so why don't you stay with the system you've been using all this time?" Christian questioned Lita's judgment here. "Nothing's gone wrong here. Besides, I don't think a guy who controls fire and scares the living hell out of people should get your heart's full attention while there's Edge waiting to carry you on his back any given day."

"I know, that's what kills me about all this. I mean, I agree with everything you said, but what nullifies that is the fact that the guy who controls fire and scares the living hell out of people is my husband, and I've kinda grown to love him lately. So, Edge, I'm sorry. We're just gonna have to stop this and call it friends as usual," Lita decided with finality in her voice. She then walked away, so as to hear zero more complaints. And the fatality of it all was, it was her fault that the one situation she hated about Edge was happening yet again; he was seething with agony etched all over his face once more.

Elsewhere, in a dark room…

"I think she went upstairs to destroy her fling with Edge," The Undertaker told his brother Kane. You could barely make them out within the darkness of the place, but they were sitting at a table in the center, the only spot of the room with any remote excuse of light in it. It was apparently in the arena basement. The Big Red Machine put on a grin to his face.

"My guess is, you're absolutely right," he then answered the Phenom.


	16. The Final Stop

Disclaimer: This is unassociated with any of my other stories, and I do not own any of the members of this story. I simply write this story due to my interest in Raw, especially with these certain Superstars that have major roles.

Pairings: Kane/Lita, attempted references to this story's Edge/Lita past, Jericho/Maria one time pairing possibility due to the close time proximity of WrestleMania.

Rating Info: This story is rated PG-13, as all of my stories are, for safety purposes.

**_The Stones of Raw_** by **Prime Time, Legend Champion**

Chapter 16: The Final Stop

Following 3/28/2005 episode of Raw

Fort Worth Convention Center in Fort Worth, TX

Tonight is the final stop before WrestleMania 21. We've got three intense moments coming up tonight: Trish Stratus and Christy Hemme will compete in an arm wrestling match, Muhammad Hassan finally gets shut up by Shawn Michaels, and Triple H will have a face-off with Batista in the middle of the ring!

The show begins with Raw is Jericho, and Y2J again proudly introduces the two names to his show. He says we're only six days away from WrestleMania 21, and the anticipation is even bigger than the entire state of Texas. It's the night when men can become legends, dreams come true, and history is made. He did it when he became the first ever Undisputed Champion, and he's gonna do it when he wins the first ever "money in the bank" ladder match, sign the contract, and get a chance at the World Heavyweight Championship at any time in the next year. Jericho claims that he hungers for the World Title more than anyone else in this match. He then introduces two opponents as guests, the first being Chris Benoit, who received much respect and a standing ovation, much like the other guest, Shelton Benjamin, the Intercontinental Champion. Shelton came out in a very pompous manner. Oh, did I mention the ladder in the middle of the ring?

He was glad that the two of them could come out, since they were actually friends, but it's any man for himself at Mania, and he'll do whatever he has to do to either one of them to win. Benoit's problem, though, is because of the hunger claim that Jericho had the most. Benoit mentioned how last year's WrestleMania saw him become the World Heavyweight Champion. There is no greater feeling to him, and he will do anything to regain it. Benoit mentions that his neck was broken in a ladder match, but there is nobody hungrier than him. Benjamin cuts in, saying that just because Benoit broke his neck doesn't make him the hungriest. He hasn't been the World Heavyweight Champion, so he isn't just hungry: Shelton's starving. And, unlike anyone else in the match, he current knows about being a champion. Then, out came Christian, with Tyson Tomko alongside. As he walked down the ramp, he told them that he thinks they're not hungry, but full of crap. Christian has the most incentive to win the match, since nobody's picking him to win, much like they didn't pick him last year to beat Chris Jericho, remember that? And, also, unlike the men in front of him, he's got a couple of WrestleMania ladder match victories. Edge showed up angry as usual, and, sorry to break it to you, Christian, he got those same two ladder match victories "from when you and I, were a tag team". But, Edge says, he's gonna win his third on his own and get that chance for the World Title, even if he has to snap all three of the necks of Benoit, Jericho, and Benjamin. Benoit counters with the words, "Not if I break yours first", leading to chaos.

Over the break, we've got Tyson Tomko, Edge, and Christian in a six man tag team affair against Shelton Benjamin and the Chris Team of Benoit and Jericho. The early going after the break saw Christian being basically controlled by Jericho, then Shelton Benjamin. Tomko, the Problem Solver in black jeans, eventually got to overpowering Benjamin when he got tagged in, but Shelton got out of the double team predicament. With a hard slam, though, Tomko started teeing off on the Intercontinental Champion. Tomko tagged in Edge, during the control of Benjamin. Edge even went as far to try backing up his neck snapping claim by choking Benjamin on the ropes. Next in the ring was Christian, who was finally on the good hand. Benjamin, though, broke up a headlock feeding on the crowd. Christian kept on the headlock, which eventually hid a tag Benjamin made to Benoit from the referee, who became distracted by Chris's entry into the ring. This led to a temporary mugging which got Edge into the ring. Turns out Edge and Benjamin ended up double clotheslining each other. Benoit came into the match following a detected tag, and then started going on fire all over Edge's team, even getting a Sharpshooter on the Artist of Awesomeness. Christian saved it, but got the triple German suplex for it. Tomko came and got a headbutt when Benoit tried to go for the diving headbutt, but Edge hung him up. The sequence led to Benoit being bloodied, then giving Edge a German suplex, and the two of them were down when we reached commercial break.

Upon return from the intermission, Benoit is being dominated by Captain Charisma, though he does manage to kick out. The Rabid Wolverine eventually breaks out of a Peep Man headlock, then goes for a ton of chops. Christian took down Benoit, but Benjamin cut into a pinfall cover and saved the match. Benoit used his bloody head as a battering ram up at the turnbuckle on Christian and somehow got that falling headbutt on him! Tomko and Jericho broke into the ring. Edge received a springboard dropkick. Shelton and Christian were on the outside, Jericho and Tomko inside. The match eventually breaks down when Edge accidentally Spears Tomko, leading to a confrontation between Edge and Christian. Benjamin tries a spinning leg lariat, but ended up hitting Benoit instead of his normal partners. The action deteriorating, Christian hit Edge with a falling reverse DDT, then took the T-Bone Suplex, and the All Street American got the Big Boot from the King of Tattoo, who then tapped out to the Walls of Jericho! Christian got up as Jericho celebrated, and rammed a ladder into his midsection or penis. Suddenly, Kane's fire burst, and out came the Demon on Fire himself. His tasks: boot Christian's ladder straight to his face, ram it into Benjamin and Jericho, go on to Chokeslam Edge to Hell, and then set up the ladder in the center of the ring to step on it and activate his flame at the corners! He then stood with his satanic lighting, dominant over all the carnage in the ring.

The "When Kurt Met Christy" trailer with the two going insane at the table was played at the instruction of Jerry Lawler. That pointed out the Wrestle

Batista was in his locker room, and in came Eric Bischoff. As General Manager of Raw, Bischoff wanted to make it clear to Batista that there was not to be any physicality in the face-off, since he couldn't afford the carnage in the ring with Kane, or any possible resulting injury. Batista says that he won't start anything, but he'll finish it if Triple H starts it. Bischoff says Trips will make sure he knows that, then asks if he was serious for the "used car salesman" joke. Mistake, man. This led to another claim, this one being that the General Manager reminded the Leviathan of the Gimp from Pulp Fiction. Eric's getting angry with the comical claims of Big Dave.

Lilian Garcia introduces the Diva Search Winner, Christy Hemme, first for this arm wrestling competition. Christy is in a red dress, accompanied by Lita. Trish, however, is in a tanktop and jeans, obviously thinking about this competition. She constantly holds up the Women's Championship to annoy her opponent and other eneny in this matter. Three embarrassing goes, though, for Trish, as she was completely unprepared. The first time, she pulled out to do curls with her championship belt and show off her arm muscles, and the other two times, she wasn't ready for Christy's reflex speed, as apparent from her immediate defeats. Trish, flustered about the announcement that Christy won twice, kicked Lilian, then the overconcerned Lita, walking down with an evil kind of pride. Randy Orton was seen walking out.

"Stone Cold" Steve Austin's Corporation Beer Bath in 1998 was shown. The Legend Champion came out to the ring, and the events surrounding his girlfriend last week were shown. What does the Man of Destiny have to say about that? Here goes.

Last week, he asked Stacy Keibler a question: did she think he could beat The Undertaker at WrestleMania? She hesitated. His judgment was that if you're not with him, you're against him, and she wasn't with him, thus making her a distraction. He said that he wasn't going to allow himself any distractions, also claiming that he knows that all of The Undertaker's opponents were scared to death of him, but Orton refuses to be afraid. He says he's seen his future, and it doesn't involve a headstone. Rather, it involves a Hall of Fame plaque which sees Orton as a third generation Superstar, the youngest Heavyweight Champion ever, and the only man to beat Taker at WrestleMania. Suddenly, the lights darkened a little bit, and the titantron went on Taker Static, eventually showing black and white footage of all twelve of The Undertaker's WrestleMania victories. The final message: Orton is next to rest in peace. The shocking followed, as a holy to hell flame burst and flared on the turnbuckles. Undertaker's music went on, and Randy's heart beat fast. We came back from break with Randy looking to escape the arena, when his name was called. Kane suddenly appeared, telling Orton that his eyes spoke a different message than his mouth, which keeps saying he's not scared of the Dead Man. Kane faced his brother twice at WrestleMania, and both times, the Big Red Machine was lucky to walk away with his soul. Randy doesn't understand the power he's messing with, and he can't beat what he doesn't understand. The Unmasked Beast then tells the Legend Killer that he's got six days to prove he's not afraid of The Undertaker, and then leaves with a maniacal laugh.

Simon Dean and Maven, along with La Resistance were in the ring, and we've got a triple threat tag team match for the World Tag Team Championships. The Champions, William Regal and Tajiri, came out to defend their titles. William Regal was controlled early, but when he finally tagged in Tajiri, the Japanese Buzzsaw went on fire. It was only a matter of time before he gave Maven the Buzzsaw Kick and tapped him. 1, 2, 3.

A seething Triple H was looking into a mirror, then Eric Bischoff entered his room and told him he wanted a civil engagement between the two World Heavyweight Championship opponents, because he couldn't risk an injury. Turns out, there's somebody that's just not gonna listen. Trips told Bischoff this was all his fault. Eric was pushing so hard for Batista to participate against Triple H and stay here on Raw for the World Title.

Before the match against Shawn Michaels, Muhammad Hassan went on another self political tirade. He claims the people don't know what they're screaming about. We are six days away, six days until he has to face the prejudice and bigotry at WrestleMania. He hasn't been pinned on Raw, yet he is still excluded from the biggest show of the year. But tonight, he says, is a different story. Tonight, he will have the satisfaction of pinning Shawn Michaels, the "so-called" Mr. WrestleMania, right here, right now, in his home state of Texas. Daivari then spoke more Iranian crap, and the only things we understand in there are "HBK", "Muhammad", and "WrestleMania". Shawn Michaels, thankfully, cut him off, much like he will cut off Kurt Angle if he tries to embarrass his song with the Heartbreak Kid's former manager Sensational Sherri again like he did on Smackdown. Unlike Hassan, Angle and Michaels will compete at WrestleMania against each other. Daivari is continuing to talk, and it pisses me off. The Arab Renegade, Hassan, is enjoying control for the moment, until the HBK chants come and Michaels gets a few chomps. Daivari tried to trip up the Showstopper, only to get stomped on his hand. Back from the break, we see Hassan with the surfboard stretch on Shawn, and a couple of unsuccessful covers, among other things. I beg Khozrow Daivari to shut the hell up, so I can't even spread much more detail on this match until Michaels gets to business. Michaels eventually fought his way out of a submission maneuver, and looked like he was about to start with the momentum, until the stop. Eventually, Hassan and Daivari distracted the ref for one another to get a bow and arrow lock on Michaels using the post. Though Hassan failed to get what I call the Rebellion Crash Buster in on Michaels, he applied the Camel Clutch, but Michaels hit the ropes. Shawn eventually got on a huge momentum surge, including the nip up, bad back and all. Michaels looks like he is on fire, and the Shawn Michaels Band started tuning up for Sweet Chin Music. Kurt Angle came and tried to assault Michaels, eventually getting past Mike Chioda's restraining business. Momentum switched to Michaels, as he dodged a punch from Angle, which hit Hassan. Michaels went for Sweet Chin Music on both men, hitting Hassan, and - along with security - forcing Angle to retreat. Hassan's music started going up, but it was corrected for that of Michaels. A musical jinx has been placed on the Motormouth of Iran and the Arab Renegade. But more importantly, Shawn Michaels is standing tall prior to his WrestleMania confrontation with Kurt Angle.

Eric Bischoff, angry about that last piece of chaos, decides to assemble the four nearest security guards and tell them to get security guards to get all the other guards to safeguard the face off situation.

Guards all in play, Eric Bischoff introduces Triple H to the ring. He is accompanied by Ric Flair, and apparently in a fiery mood. However, he does get nonchalant when he sits down on his side of the table. When Batista shows up, he's boasting out his strength, and when he finally enters the ring, Triple H gets up and begins his speech. Notice that both men are dressed to wrestle, even though this face-off is no official match. Trips was busy talking about how he was going to destroy Batista at WrestleMania, and how Big Dave was "ungrateful" to the Game and the Nache for teaching him everything he knows and making him who he is in this business. Batista simply commented by calling Flair a legend, and Trips an asshole, causing the Game to tip over the table that was between them. After an intense staredown, the two eventually had a fight that had to be restrained by security. Oh, and Batista won the upper hand in that, leaving his music on and Trips staggering up the ramp as the show ended, so once again, Batista has one-upped Triple H.

"Unbelievable, kids. That is damn unbelievable! Yet again, Dave Batista has gotten the better of me! Unbelievable!" Triple H yelled, obviously in a panic over the fact that at WrestleMania, he could very well lost the Heavyweight Title of the World. Again, Ric Flair and Trish Stratus were with him in the hall.

"Hey, did you two get embarrassed again tonight? How long is it gonna take for this funk of yours to die out? Come on!" Shelton Benjamin immediately entered the conversation.

"Well, if itsn't my own personal Terrell Owens," Trish responded to the All Street American's interference within grumpy Evolution affairs.

"Trish, don't cry. I'll admit, I was all over you. But it took a mighty big while, and that was only for the satire of it all, cause Vince had it happen. T.O. was doing something entertaining, cause that's just him, and he's my homeboy. So don't put his name in your mouth because we imitated his and Sheridan's MNF gig to start a Raw. Plus, if I'm right, I think that I'm gonna be the man beatin' you up for the Heavyweight Title, Triple H. That is, if you somehow get past my homeboy in the locker room, and that's Batista," Shelton got into the head of his Evolution partners. "And, Trish; I've been to one of Christy's training sessions, along with Kane and his bro, The Undertaker. From what I've seen, I know she can beat you. Better keep on your toes and think on your feet rather than on your back. Besides, if the two of you get beat by somebody that you guys have groomed into being who he is in this business, and before that, somebody you called a hot Playboy slut, it'll teach you guys to stop worrying about having too much glamour and shining yourselves up for an icky bedtime. And by that, I mean your focus on in-ring affairs will rise once again," Shelton spoke, an irritating speech to Evolution before walking off.

"You'd better walk away, boy! You had better walk away! Cause if you get back here, I will make you tap out, take that back, and call me uncle out of fear of broken legs before your lil' ladder match at WrestleMania! I think Edge or Christian will win that match anyway, you pompous son of a bitch!" the frustrated Dirtiest Player in the Game threatened Benjamin, who walked off with a grin on his face.

"Ah ah ah," a voice suddenly came up behind Evolution. Its holder: the Bionic Redneck, "Stone Cold" Steve Austin.

"Back off if you know what's good for ya, Austin!" Trips immediately threatened him.

"I think you forgot who I am, Triple H. You're lookin' at Stone Cold, the Texas Rattlesnake, Austin 3:16, the toughest son of a bitch in the history of this company. And I'm gonna have me a whole lotta fun on Piper's Pit, while your little lackey takes you outta your Championship," Austin spoke, causing the Cerebral Assassin to think about that possibility one time too many.

"If you dare being up Batista as a member of Evolution EVER AGAIN, I WILL MAKE YOU REGRET IT!" Trips threatned Austin, pointing fingers. Speaking of fingers, the Texas Rattlesnake flipped the bird on all three of them, then issued Flair the Stunner! With that, he "dusted" off his fingers so as to show that business has just been handled. Walking away, Stone Cold. Walking in, Hot Rod.

"Well, Triple H. It seems you've just been embarrassed by Shelton Benjamin and Steve Austin, haven't ya?" Roddy Piper noted towards the Game.

"You're gonna make me want to destroy somebody, Piper, so look out for yourself,"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, be quiet, and hold on for yourself, man!" Piper halted Trips. "Now, let me make a few comments. Trish, I hear you've been sleepin' for money, and you've been makin' fan boys kiss your Women's Title at the spot where it says "Women's" just to boost your dignity."

"Now, that is just not true!" she objected to those claims.

"Whoa, but let me keep goin', cause you're gonna have to make what you just said the truth if you want my utmost respect for anything other than your skill and cleverness in the ring," the Crazy Scotsman interrupted Trish's cut. "But really, I respect Ric Flair. He's my good friend. But I still have to make this joke. You're gonna have to free him from the clutches of your evil ways, Triple H, cause if you're the Game, and he's kissing your ass, and he's the Dirtiest Player in the Game, wouldn't that make him the dirtiest player in you? Ha ha ha ha ha!"

He left himself and a few workers in the back laughing, while Triple H and Trish stood absolutely embarrassed.

Onto another situation.

"I'm gonna win that ladder match. I don't care about Edge, or Kane, or anybody else. In fact, I **blame** Kane! Cause if it wasn't for him, Edge and I wouldn't have such a problem getting along in that match!" Christian yelled in his locker room.

"Yeah. I know, man. I just feel sorry for Edge, cause Lita was so important to him, you know?" Tyson noted.

"You're right, but there's gonna be no pity come WrestleMania. I'm gonna go all out to win that match! It's money in the bank, baby, for Captain Charisma!"

"Money in the bank for you, Christian? I've been screwed over too many times in this past year for me not to win this ladder match," Edge pointed out, suddenly appearing, much to the chagrin of Christian for once.

"Hey, I'm the most prolific TLC winner ever, remember?" Christian made sure Edge knew of this.

"I don't care! I just lost Lita, and the cause of it just thought he could curse me with even more bad luck! I'm gonna prove to him, to you, and to everybody else in that match that there is no way-"

"You get past me to win this ladder match and face Batista or Triple H!" Chris Benoit's voice suddenly made itself heard. The Rabid Wolverine did indeed enter the room behind Edge, Tomko, and Christian. "I'm telling you now, I will do whatever it takes to win that match, and anyone that denies my heart's desire to win will-"

"Have a greater one, and eventually move on to become the World Heavyweight Champion for the second time in his career!" Chris Jericho made his decision to cut into the discussion. "And, just to let all you assclowns know, I won the match tonight, and I'm gonna climb the ladder and get the briefcase faster than you can say, 'Y2J is the King of the World'! And, unlike you, Edge, I actually have a motivational date before WrestleMania. You might want to look into that."

"Hey, how dare you bring that up! I'll make sure you never walk again for that!" Edge threatened Jericho, who walked out with a smile on his face. Christian had no choice but to laugh.

"Shut the hell up before I spend my time destroying you!" Edge commanded his best friend, who will actually be one of his Mania opponents. Speaking of Jericho's date…

"Maria, did you see the way I just embarrassed Edge? As soon as I mentioned that I had a date, he was livid. You didn't even have to show your face!" Jericho yelled, sending the girl next to him into a good piece of laughter.

"Well, let's see here; are you up for the moment?" Maria asked Chris. Slowly, they entered that kiss Lita entered with Kane two weeks ago outside the alley, and Edge, who walked out to see what Y2J was talking about, was now in that explosive mood yet again.

Elsewhere, Randy Orton was being confronted by Kane and Lita.

"You should be ashamed of yourself! Stacy was my good friend, and you RKO'd her! I refuse to believe that a good man could be so cruel to her. Which is why I want Undertaker to crush you at WrestleMania and register you into a hospital that will treat you for life," Lita threatened Randy Orton.

"That's just not gonna happen, because I'm not afraid of The Undertaker-"

"I was afraid of him once. And I see 'back down' in your eyes addressed to me and Lita. If that's true, how could you not be remotely afraid of my brother, the great Undertaker? He can't join me today, but let me make his three words short and sweet so you can savor them, as well as the last hours of your wrestling life; rest in peace," Kane said. He and Lita left, that evil laugh of Kane's echoing through the ears of Orton.

And that is where we leave Raw. For sixteen weeks, we took a trip on the streets of Raw, exploring what life is like backstage. The last sixteen Raws before the great WrestleMania were given in detail, along with the insanity of backstage moments. For your reading pleasure, I give the world questions: what will come of Evolution's Championships? Will Christy Hemme and Batista become first time Champions and dethrone Evolution's hold on Raw gold? Who comes out on top in that six-man ladder match? Will Kane's brother, The Undertaker, indeed kill Randy Orton's legend killing ways at WrestleMania, or will the Grave Master be taken down to 12-1 by the Man of Destiny? Plus, there's another mystery, one that revealed its presence last week: will the recently paranoid Artist of Awesomeness, Edge, ever get over being dumped down by Lita?

All these questions are to be answered in the near future. My peeps, as well as Christian's, I bid you all farewell for now. My next project: the Edge & Christian Show. Peace, peeps!


End file.
